To help pay for my sons funeral

My 19 ur old son drowned today at high rock lake I'm raising money to bury him I'm so hurt this is my second son in less than a year my first child died November 12,2016 an now my oldest son died 7.12.17 3 days after his 19th birthday he turned 19 on the 9th of this month an my baby would've been a year old on the 10th of this month I'm lost 8 months apart it's to much for me to bare this hurts I'm lost so lost so lost please somebody help me to understand what I'm doing wrong