Tammy and Nel

My story started before the Paradise fire. But through the trials of fire, may Love, Charity and Justice rise like Phoenix.

2018 was a particularly trying year. I was learning how to be on my own again after a twelve year break up, learning how to be mom at a distance after both my adult children moved out of state, and learning how to say goodbye to my cat Boots who was twelve and my dog Elvis who was thirteen. It was a year of tremendous loss and one that words fail to articulate to this day. 

I came to California with a three month puppy in tow (Nel) just a few months prior to the fire in the aspirations of, "Under The Tuscan Sun' in new beginnings. My son moved to California and offered a room with him in Magalia until I got situated, leaving the home I raised them in. Then I moved to Paradise. I had found where I wanted to be with a sense of home and additionally a sense of myself and direction. 

The thick, black smoke and orange sky that morning wrote a new chapter for me too soon. From living in Paradise to a Walmart tent city for two weeks, to beaches, grocery store parking lots, a church, and mountain side streams... it's been kind of crazy.  Survival became a personal term at the very essence of housing, eating, weather and other elements. I would not leave Nel for a shelter, nor could I be without her. We are in this foxhole together. 

Through a Facebook group, someone donated an RV to me from NY. Its been the first real hope of security since the fire. Looking for donations to make this happen and also be with my family after Christmas as this is the first time I am without them. 

I plan on flying back to IL the 27th or 28th for a family gathering, a halfway point to pick up the trailer. I also need to attain the gas money for people to drive it to IL. From there I need gas money to drive it back to California and work with others to find a place to house it. I do have a temporary place to house it for a few weeks but one step at a time. 

Without your donations there is no other way to make this happen. I am grateful for the loving community that became a rock of inspiration and support during this disaster and thereafter. Not sure a documentary, a movie, a song, nor the story of one could ever convey the scope of impact ordinary people made by stepping up and reaching out. Only the heart has that depth in understanding. I would be remiss to focus only on what challenges are ahead since moving me to 'Here' was made possible by the generosity of so many. This gift is treasured, always.