Sponsor Love! (Robs partner visa)

I know these things are often for more serious stuff. We had one for my last partner to get private treatment for her cancer, and it was very good.
Today I thought, why can’t I do one for love! You can sponsor LOVE!
I need five and a half g to apply for the partner visa so I can go and live with my girlfriend Ajita. 
5 quid from each of my friends would cover it! Please help.

I know you already forked out to make some great albums- Billy’s and a few others... Now for the price of one fancy pint, in these turbulent times you can sponsor romance! Go on, buy us a pint (A poncey Greenbank one) Put the money in here!

I'm guessing not everyone will, so normally there’s some incentives like a free cd.
Well, we can go better than that-

Incentives

·      A small donation gets you seeing me happy and all the photos of parrots you can handle.

·      Little more? Ajita will be happy because I’ll be helping her with her kids, I’ll send you photos and postcards.

·      A few tenners? Your own mousey video! Oh yes, Mousey talking to you on his show!

·      A substantial donation? I’ll give you a tour of the local area when you come over. Beaches, Waterfalls, rainforest, wallabies and turtles.

·      Loads? Come stay at our place for a holiday!

Largest Donation gets a ticket to Glasto in 2019!

Basically, I came back thinking I had more work than Glastonbury to come back to. It would have paid for it, and tided me over until I get a job out there. You need this visa whether married or not. It’s a lot of money to find so I thought I'd ask you lot for help.
I need to get the funds together before end of October! 
It will benefit me, Ajita, her kids. And hopefully anyone I meet over there too!

I’m super grateful of any help.

Thank you.

P.S. I've just upped the amount to include the extra costs- police certificates, relationship registration medical tests you have to apply for.