CAPS Playoff Beard Removal for USA Warriors

Hey! My name is Kavi Dotson (Arlington, VA) and I have been milking a playoff beard for about 7 months now after being thoroughly confused as to whether you're still supposed to shave even if the Caps never lost (don't worry, it's been getting trimmed). I've been thinking lately that it's time to get rid of it. But it seems like it's been too long to just ditch it without any fanfare. So here’s the plan: I’m raising money for USA Warriors Hockey!

The USA Warriors Ice Hockey Program, a 501(c)(3), has been organized to operate exclusively for charitable and educational purposes, for those wounded in defense of the United States. The Program’s mission is to organize and administer an ice hockey program that provides a recreational, therapeutic experience and education.
https://www.usawarriorshockey.org

Aside from helping a worthy cause, here’s what you get with your donation. On Super Bowl Sunday, at halftime of the game I will be officially shaving the beard. BUT you get to decide what I shave it into and sport to work on Monday.

If the total donation is:
<$100 FULL SHAVE for minimum fun
$100+ GOATEE for maximum hipster
$200+ NECK BEARD only for maximum itch
$300+ STACHE only for maximum 70s detective
$400+ MUTTON CHOPS for max Wolverine
$500+ FUMANCHU for maximum pheromones

Then it starts to get interesting. Because I actually have a big presentation on Tuesday.

$1,000+ 2 work days
$1,500+ 3 work days
$2,000+ 4 work days
$2,500+ 5 work days
$10,000+ 2 weeks
$50,000+ the rest of February
$100,000+ until the playoffs start again in April

All proceeds will be donated to USA Warriors Hockey and I’ll match the 3% “gofundme tax” up to $200! Rest assured, there will be photo evidence of the proceedings posted daily. For better or worse.

Thanks, and Go CAPS!
- Kavi