Pray For Seraphim

$2,345 of $10,000 goal

Raised by 44 people in 33 months
In July I was sick in bed with pertussis for two months. It wasn't until September I found out I was in my second trimester while I was in real estate school and unemployed that I was pregnant.

In October I went to bed rest with a dilated cervix and ruptured membranes and a bulging bag. The doctors told me she had 48 hours to survive and repeatedly recommended me to abort. I decided to keep fighting.
Staying in bed, I put my bed on a 2' lift for a 15 degree decline to keep the pressure off my cervix. Unable to work, and with zero communication or support from the father who abandoned me, my 11 year old daughter had to help take care of mommy. I had no way to make an income because I was unable to work. Bed rest worked for a little bit until one evening the contractions continued stronger. Being on my feet and minor stressors triggered contractions daily. It was w constant fight to stay completely relaxed. Falling into debt with bills, and with the house falling into disarray, it became harder and harder every day and I thank everyone for the support.

At 21 weeks and 3 days Seraphim Ossa Manning was born at 12.2 oz. she was too young to be saved. If I could have held on for twelve more days she could've had a 50% chance of survival and an 80% chance at 24 weeks after reviewing a cycle of antibiotics and steroids to better develop her lungs and brain.

Upon arriving to ER they notified me that my quad test was returned and that she is at high risk for Down syndrome. This hit my heart heavy but I wasn't determined to give in yet: the test is not positive and an amniocentesis is the more accurate test to assure baby is ok.

In the middle of the night I got the bad news that a high white blood cell count meant I had an infection which was life threatening to me. I broke down and there was no fight in me anymore. If this is what God wants then take her where she'll be happy. I could have a painless medical abortion or induce labor and I decided to endure a birth without an epidural so I can hold her in my arms with her heart beating wholly. I found my peace. When I found out I was 7 cm dilated I decided Serah is ready to go and it's up to me to let go.

She was so beautiful and innocent and tiny and I held her against my skin with bittersweet happiness and sadness at the same time. Life is precious and this experience has changed my life forever. I will never advocate abortion and I will sacrifice my own selfish needs for the life and innocence of a baby and unborn child. Holding her for just a short time in my arms is worth the sacrifice and pain I've endured.
My heart is broken.

Doctor told me to take 6 weeks off to let my body heal and get my head straight.  Daily tasks like doing the dishes or making my bed are difficult for me.  I'm trying to take things slowly as much as I can handle.  I'm trying to get back to work and real estate as soon as possible and get caught up on late bills and make Christmas happen for Kai.
+ Read More
Thank you everyone for the support.
+ Read More
Kai was sick and now I'm sick too ;( can't work and can't make Christmas happen
+ Read More
Getting back to work part time bartending a couple slow day shifts in town until I can start personal training again and working on my real estate the month of December. Thank you everybody for the support. It's been really hard the last couple weeks but I'm slowly trying to get back to normal life.
+ Read More
Got my genetic tests back today and I'm furious. Everything was negative. These doctors kept pushing me to an abortion and were giving me worst case scenarios. I have so much regret and I honestly feel she would've made it i had better care. I don't know why they didn't give me precautionary antibiotics like I asked for. I don't know why they scared me into believing I had chorio. They did not confirm that it was chorio my high white blood count could have been attributed to an infection in a tooth ache for all I know. I hear lots of stories about the doctors scaring you into worst case scenarios. Don't jump into a decision. Get a second opinion. Do research. They had me doped up on pain meds when I was unable to coherently make a decision.
+ Read More
Read a Previous Update
Tina Merrie
32 months ago

Who is this asshole?

+ Read More
Chris Tina
32 months ago

I heard about your fertility issues and desire to have another baby girl and I want to help you with egg donation or surrogacy or whatever your needs are. Stay strong.

+ Read More
Anna Baker
32 months ago

I've been keeping up with your story everyday, I almost feel a part of it somehow. I'm so saddened by your latest post, and your beautiful pictures of your baby. reading this story has given me a gift in my own life. I feel more grateful everyday for my daughter who is one, I feel more patient and caring towards her when I now see how lucky I am in comparison to you and countless others. Just know that sharing your story means the world to me, and while I have nothing myself to give to you, you have given so much to me. I share your sadness, you are not alone. ❤

+ Read More
Autumn Waller
33 months ago

I know we are merely aquaintices but as soon as I saw your post my heart went out to you and your little unborn baby. Your all in my prayers. I respect your bravery and love for your children and pray that you will be blessed beyond measure .

+ Read More

$2,345 of $10,000 goal

Raised by 44 people in 33 months
Created October 26, 2016
Your share could be bringing in donations. Sign in to track your impact.
   Connect
We will never post without your permission.
In the future, we'll let you know if your sharing brings in any donations.
We weren't able to connect your Facebook account. Please try again later.
BT
$50
Brad Thompson
32 months ago
AS
$50
Angie Simon
32 months ago

Keeping your family in my prayers. Stay strong.

CC
$100
Christine Castillo
32 months ago

God bless you Kristie.

EA
$25
Emmy Alvarez
32 months ago
EB
$100
Erika Branich
32 months ago
JB
$100
Janine Bonderenko
32 months ago

Love you girl

$20
Angelica Quinn Ifbb Pro
32 months ago
MV
$25
Melvyn Ventura
32 months ago

The Bible teach, "To everything, there is a season a time for every purpose under Heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). There are things happened for a purpose as a reminder of our disobedience to His word. The collection for our church is for the saints as apostle Paul instructed us in 1 Corinthians 16:1-2. But with love as we read in 1 Corinthians 13; individual members may give personal donation for those outside the Lord's church. May God bless you and guide you with His word, that whatever sin committed that cause your suffering will be forgiven.

CC
$5
Chloe Card
32 months ago

Love to you and your family! Lean on Christ, for only He knows exactly what you are going through.

$10
Michael Hall
32 months ago

Bless you and baby

Tina Merrie
32 months ago

Who is this asshole?

+ Read More
Chris Tina
32 months ago

I heard about your fertility issues and desire to have another baby girl and I want to help you with egg donation or surrogacy or whatever your needs are. Stay strong.

+ Read More
Anna Baker
32 months ago

I've been keeping up with your story everyday, I almost feel a part of it somehow. I'm so saddened by your latest post, and your beautiful pictures of your baby. reading this story has given me a gift in my own life. I feel more grateful everyday for my daughter who is one, I feel more patient and caring towards her when I now see how lucky I am in comparison to you and countless others. Just know that sharing your story means the world to me, and while I have nothing myself to give to you, you have given so much to me. I share your sadness, you are not alone. ❤

+ Read More
Autumn Waller
33 months ago

I know we are merely aquaintices but as soon as I saw your post my heart went out to you and your little unborn baby. Your all in my prayers. I respect your bravery and love for your children and pray that you will be blessed beyond measure .

+ Read More
or
Use My Email Address
By continuing, you agree with the GoFundMe
terms and privacy policy
There's an issue with this Campaign Organizer's account. Our team has contacted them with the solution! Please ask them to sign in to GoFundMe and check their account. Return to Campaign

Are you ready for the next step?
Even a $5 donation can help!
Donate Now Not now
Connect on Facebook to keep track of how many donations your share brings.
We will never post on Facebook without your permission.