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Please help disabled husband whose wife died

$1,550 of $1,500 goal

Raised by 24 people in 1 month
Im Brian..or as my wife called me, Booty. Donna was my Punkin. She was all of 4'8" big. but her soul and love shown brighter than a sun in summer. We were together and never apart for 31 years. That cover photo is a year after we met and taken in a little mall photo booth..

Donna had health problems over the years longer than  we were together. She was a fighter and much tougher than me. But stuff caught up to her in Dec 2018. She has only been gone a week yet Im overwhelmed with bills and burial stuff and lawyers. Ill be clear in this post. I cant do this and I desperately need help.

We're pretty private people...even putting our pic and name out on the web is scary to me. Normally Id never do it. But I am forced to by the loss of my soulmate and circumstances. It was earlier this year I think it was our well pump died and I had to come here and ask for help. That was bad....this is terrible. I dont want to be here and I know she wouldn't. But she always told me if someone can help and asks to it means they want to and can do it and to accept it. So Im asking and I will accept it.
36075654_1547095197665539_r.jpegOur wedding photo.....


We are both....I still say we.....disabled. Her since the late 80s me since I was a kid.. We got by day to day. Some months were better. Some not. Some months we ate saltine crackers, ramen, and water for the week. Others we could get a fast food meal. We didn't qualify for food stamps. We were over $17 and for that $17 they took away $400 in food stamps...so $400 in food.

And now to the point. We were in bankruptcy. I still am. I wont go into details but it costs more to die than live sometimes. For us it seems both. We are SO close to finishing our bankruptcy. We wanted to pay off our bills not shirk them. Its taken us 4 years nearly and we have only 7 or 8 payments left. But Lil'D died Jan 3. from a sudden stroke and complications. Out of the blue and I dont think Ill ever get over it. I dont even want to. She was my world my true soulmate. I wish I wasn't here but  it seems God needs me to go on. 

She handled everything. Im playing catch up. But half the money has instantly been removed from the home. Ive had some donations that will help but I still need help. I cannot do this. Ive been working all day every day to find an answer. Right now there is none but to throw myself out here and beg. I need to pay the funeral home some stuff and to place an obituary. I also have GOT to keep our home. But I need time....a few months. I need to keep that bankruptcy up so I can get stuff in my name or find any life insurance. She was meticulous about having it and it was supposed to pay off some of the bills.   She was amazing and still is but her system of organizing is beyond me. Im tearing the house apart. Its old and not in good shape but its home. All our memories are here. The smell of her perfume is still around. The clothes she owned and the ones she left as  I rushed her to the hospital are still where she left them. I CANNOT lose this. Its all I have left of her. Its her childhood home.

I hate to sound so whiny and desperate but by God I am. If I could find some way to pay the $670 a month bankruptcy payment I could float and get by with maybe even $30 bucks left over a month. Im not trying to get rich or buy something......other than keep our life and home. I guess you could say I am trying to buy time.

Im on a fixed disability income. I wont be able to draw more to help or any off her to help. I got a death benefit from it. Little more than $200.  Its like blood money. I wish I could find any life insurance but its not happening.

Please consider helping if you can. With some help I can pay some of the bills that have to be taken care of because of her death. It really is expensive.  I truly appreciate any help and all help. Spread the word. Ask me anything. Ill post more and try to find more pics. She was awfully shy and private. Id stick a camera in her face and her hands came up. Got lots of pics of hands :) But Ill find some.

Brian aka Booty

Again ask anything  but please dont be rude or anything. Im having a hell of a time just getting through days. But anything will help. I have a hole in my life but not my heart. She will always be with me and Ill see her again one day. Right now though the world is reaching all it's hands in at me.

36075654_1547096255673872_r.jpegUs at her high school reunion in 2013
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In the full photo her little hand is resting on my leg. Wish it wouldn't crop pics.

Wanted to post an update as its been a few days. I personally wish to thank all of you for helping out. Friends, family, strangers...all of you are lightening a load I was not prepared for. We thought we had all the time in the world. She was great until a few months ago but she had beaten so much over her life this last one was too much for her little body..

Even after the stroke and in the hospital she came around and was sitting up talking , laughing, eating, joking and making silly faces at my silliness. It was all great. Then just ended in one night. I wont go into all that or how it was but know its nothing anyone should have to do or experience.

She is and will always be my wife no matter how much life I have left. She was my light and beacon in good and hard times. She steered our ship to calmer seas.

We told each other "I love you" a dozen times a day, thanked each other for little things we did for each other, and always kissed each other goodnight. This is all 31 years after we started all this fun life.

Ok the money. I thank you again. It will be used for some funeral expenses of course....write ups, physical papers and such too. Also enough will be put back for a plot from all of it. Assorted other little things. A larger amount will go to keeping the home and all our memories in it. Bankruptcy payments and house payments in that. Theres enough for 1 month now.

We are / were both disabled. She is free now and running again and jumping. Probably having a lot of fun..maybe shooting some hoops like she couldn't on Earth. I hope so. I know so. I just care about her but I have to think and be practical here. We both had a social security check coming in . Each month after these crazy bills we had a couple hundred left over for food and needed items. Nothing extra like a restaurant meal but enough for a fast food or some other little things.

But now half the home income instantly vanished. Yet our bills did not . They are the same. So I cannot cover them all . Each month it would be around $1100 not including food and gas and such..or emergencies which we never could cover anyways. So thats a negative $200 right there.

Im working hard to fix these problems, find solutions , and speak to all I can speak to to help out or suggest stuff.

Im trying to buy time. Time to change deeds and property stuff...sort out bank withdrawals....pay insurance payments.....lawyer fees.....you name it. Death is more expensive than life. Theres so much to do and pay for all the while simply trying to stay sane...breath.....and miss your soulmate in the worst way possible. Hand in hand with us truly meant that each and every day.

I really should have put the goal much higher but Im not one to ask usually and never beg. But I have to do what I have to do even if Im ashamed or embarrassed. She would. She would tell me to. She was the brains of the outfit people would say :)

So thank you all that have helped out. Please pray and spread the word of this if you can. We have a small circle we knew in life because everyone else nearly has passed away....some family still around doing all they can...and friends online. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Brian (Booty) & Donna (Punkin) :( yet memories as :)

Here is another photo of us from her high school reunion May 18 2013. 6 years and it feels like 2. Time is flying..sadly.
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$1,550 of $1,500 goal

Raised by 24 people in 1 month
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