Building the New 蜕变与新生
If you wish to learn more about me and about the surgery before donating to my cause here is a little of my story.
I have been considered “obese” most of my life. I always made excuses for myself. Saying things like, “I am big boned.” “I don’t need to be skinny to be happy.” “Big is beautiful too!” I would hide behind jokes and my loud personality to make it seem I was okay with who I was, but I’ve always been insecure about my body. I would hide when I had to change my clothes, I would wear layers to try and cover every roll in my stomach, I would wear cardigans even if I was hot to cover my arms, and I would avoid mirrors. I wouldn’t even go to the doctor when I was really sick because I didn’t want the doctor to check my weight because then I would have to confront my weight. Last March I finally decided that I needed to take control of my life and start caring about my health. It was time for me to stop making excuses and stop living in fear that I couldn’t do it. Because of my bad choices, I was in danger and at risk of killing myself before I was 40. So I jumped into weight loss and, honestly, it’s saved me.
So, what did I do first? I went to the gym and sought help. I didn’t know how to do this on my own, so I hired a personal trainer. Then, I started researching and seeking help on how to change my diet. I started seeing my trainer 3-4 times a week and then, the other days, I would do cardio. I cut out snacks, soda, bad carbs, and started meal planning. I started learning how to control myself at dinner parties, learned how to eat healthy in restaurants, and as a traveler. My schedule has become more hectic, as I go to work at 6:30am, tutor children to pay for trainers after work and head straight to the gym. I then arrive home at 8:00pm, and I cook and plan for the next day. At first, this routine was challenging, but as I began building a healthier lifestyle, the routine became easier and my body got used to it.
In the last 8 months the change I have seen in my body and my personality has astonished my friends, fellow workers, my trainer and myself. The small goals are what drive me to keep going. I can now wrap a normal sized bath towel around my body. I can cross my legs when I am sitting. I don’t sweat or get body odor as easily, and I can lock the seatbelt on the airplane. I don’t feel as clumsy anymore. I sleep better and feel more energetic. When I first started working out, I walked on the treadmill and as I slowly built up stamina, I can now run a 7K in under an hour. I even joined the girls rugby team in Beijing because I finally believed I could keep up. My confidence in athleticism has grown. Now, I enjoy these healthier activities and enjoy trying new sports and classes.
My goal was to learn to build a healthy lifestyle so I can stop yo-yoing with my weight. I feel like I have done that and am determined to continue my whole life! I didn’t do this to only look better, but to feel better! I don’t want to be fearful to try new things because I am scared I can’t keep up. I never want to hear or use the excuse I can’t do something because of my weight ever again. I don’t want to feel tired when I wake up in the morning or when I walk up a flight of stairs. I want to love myself and challenge myself and conquer any activity that is thrown my way.
My weight started at about 290lbs. Now, I weigh 170lbs. – 20lbs from my goal weight. When you lose this amount of weight, extra skin hangs from your body and becomes impossible to tighten all on your own. It becomes a health risk and a veil covering all of your hard work. After much consideration and discussing with doctors here in China I am hoping to get the extra skin removal surgery this spring. As I am moving to Morocco I want to focus on my new job and my new healthy lifestyle. I would like to not have to worry about surgery during my transition and honestly, I want to move to Morocco with the past behind me. The skin hanging from my body is a sad reminder for me of the unhealthy person I was. It’s uncomfortable and hard to find the best clothes with the skin in the way. I want my next chapter in life to begin with the new healthy, confident Morgan with every intention of continuing the lifestyle wherever I go.
I am asking for help to pay for this surgery from my friends and family. The surgery is less expensive in China, but still beyond my budget as a school teacher. I know that we all have our own financial situations. I am asking that if you can, if you believe in my story, and if you want to donate just a little to my cause, your contributions will help me begin the new life I have in front of me.
Thank you for reading my story and contributing to the next part of my journey. I hope that my story also inspires you to reach your own goals in life and makes you realize that anything can be achieved with hard work and determination.
Morgan, I can't begin to tell you how proud of you I am! You are such an inspiration to many! You have given yourself the best gift and I pray that you are able to get the surgery you deserve. Love you!