MS Blows

Less than 2 months after closing on my house, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Bad timing or poor planning? Or never good timing and who knew? Anyhow, I went from taking a risk by purchasing a house knowing my son would have a basement to hang out in with his friends & decisions like what color I want the walls, to learning my physical & cognitive abilities were at risk and deciding what treatment option is the best plan to stop the progression. I’ve gone through many emotions like “now I regret the house because how am I going to pay for this and maintain this?” to “I actually do like this house and I don’t want to lose it...”. And most importantly, “how do I get my son to come up out of the basement every once in awhile?”.

So this really has focused on my recent personal living arrangement decision. As many people know, cost of living is a huge investment and an ongoing chunk of income. I poorly planned for a major medicinal expense that would include lifelong treatment. Joke’s on me! My house was my first thought (after understanding I wouldn’t die from this, yet nor would I be cured & how this would affect my son.) It was/is the most costly part of my life and would be the first to go if needed.

I quickly have come to terms with letting go of near future plans like a vacation and a fence in my yard. The biggest blow, besides having MS is now that I’ve let go of what I can, how will I dig myself out of the medical expense blow?!? Sacrificing isn’t enough. The math doesn’t add up. Naturally, as we’ve been healthy and Trenen stopped football, I signed up for the high deductible health insurance plan this year. Of course this year I went from no medical history to a lifelong disease!! Hours after being diagnosed, I spent a few nights in the hospital and have undergone a pricey brain MRI and spine MRI. Needless to say, I hit my high deductible within a week and am looking now at my out of pocket max. Ugh! 

This is all very personal and I’m yamming on like this is my diary. I’m honestly so ashamed to ask for help, let alone financial help. There are so many people worse off than I am! As a very independent, stubborn, single parent... asking for help is 1,000% out of my comfort zone. I want to know whoever dontates so I can thank them as much as I don’t want to know whoever donates because I’ll feel so guilty and ashamed. 

I’ve set this up as several people have asked how they can help. Shamefully, this is what looks like help. Anything donated will go towards paying this year’s medical bills. San Francisco can wait (unless it burns), I’ll continue to pay my mortgage (keeping the house!), but I can’t afford the blow of unforeseen medical bills this year. I’m in over my head. MS blows.

Hugs from a non-hugger,
Christine