Memorial & Medical Expenses for Mai Tong Y. Vang
Donation protected
Mai Tong's Story
Can I ask you to spend 14 minutes watching this video about my late wife, Mai Tong?
Because if you do, you'll agree that life isn't measured by how many years a person lived. Rather, life is measured by how many lives were touched by a person, no matter how short their number of years on the earth.
My name is Kaoki John Vang and I want to tell you about this amazing person who touched and blessed my life in so many indescribable ways. But my story also needs your help. And that's why I've set up this campaign.
My wife, Mai Tong Y. Vang, passed away on January 12, 2019 at the age of 34. We have a beautiful daughter, Kayle, 14, who has her mom's generous, joyful spirit.
This Is Us. Me with the loves of my life: my daughter, Kayle, on the left, and my wife, Mai Tong.
Hole in Her Heart
Mai Tong was born with a hole in her heart. She was also born in Laos, where medical care and technology is nowhere near what we have been spoiled with here in the U.S. She spent the first five years of her life in Laos and the refugee camps in Thailand. When she and her family resettled in the U.S., doctors discovered the hole. The diagnosis explained her early childhood years, when she was often sick.
At age 12, she had open heart surgery. Her surgery was successful but she had already developed Pulmonary Artery Hyptertension, in which the blood vessels become scarred and shrink. The shrunken blood vessels increase the resistance to blood flow to the lungs, which then strains the heart by causing it to work harder. This resulted in making her constantly feel short of breath (but she was always able to skip out on gym class, much to her delight!).
Despite the physical limitations on her activity, Mai Tong’s childhood and adolescence were indiscernible from others’. She was an active member and leader of the youth group at Hmong Christian Reformed Church (where we met, fell in love and got married). She loved to sing and often sang for the church, as a member of the praise and worship team and during opportunities to praise God.
She was a wonderful big sister to her four younger siblings and countless cousins, with all of them often affectionately calling her their “second mom.” Her maturity, selflessness and overtly friendly nature was an instant people-magnet – many others were drawn to her and her contagious laughter. I miss her laughter so much.
Taking Our Chances
After the birth of Kayle, Mai Tong’s health started declining and she needed to be on medication that was constantly infused into her body to slow down the degradation of her lungs. Her physical health took a toll, limiting her physical activities.
In January 2017, doctors told us the medication was no longer effective and she would need a double lung transplant. Two different hospitals turned her down for the transplant before she was finally accepted by Duke University Hospital, which required us to move from our hometown of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, to Durham, North Carolina. In September 2017, she completed the prerequisites and she was accepted onto the waiting list in October 2017. On December 1, 2017 she was successfully transplanted.
We were overjoyed at this opportunity. Though the transplant was risky, it was better than doing nothing. Without the transplant, doctors said she had six months to a year to live. We were willing to take our chances.
Because it was such a major, high risk surgery with a long journey of rehabilitation, the doctors required her to have a full-time caretaker. That was me. That also meant I could not work full-time to support our family. Which meant that we would soon be without any employer health insurance. We also had to stick around Durham so the Duke doctors could monitor her with rehab and her regular checkups. We relied on the grace of God and kindness of family and friends to get us through these financially challenging times.
As she continued rehab, we also knew that the medical bills were piling up. We paid what we could, but we were nowhere close to putting a dent in the 7-figures-plus amount.
Saying Good-bye
And then in October 2018, she was re-admitted into the hospital. Her body had started to reject the lungs. There was also an infection in her blood stream. The infection and the antibodies causing the rejection had already done too much damage to her new lungs, and she could not recover from it. Christmas and New Year were spent by her bedside, watching her suffer through the pain of not being able to breathe.
With us by her side, she took her last breath on January 12, 2019 at 9:25 p.m. God had brought her home and she is now able to breathe freely again and sing even more loudly praising Him.
Mai Tong's mom was at her side during her last days.
Relying on Generosity
I miss my wife so much that it hurts. And Kayle puts on a brave face but she misses and needs her mom, too. They had the best mother-daughter relationship, rivaled only by Mai Tong's relationship with her mom.
These last few weeks have been a blur. But I know that we will need to face reality and prepare for life without her. Part of this challenge is simply trying to get through the mounds of medical bills, along with the expenses of her funeral.
Our families and friends and church continue to offer us amazing support. But we also need the support from our community of friends like you. Please know that any donation given is appreciated and can help make a difference. We know it is only possible through the grace of God.
Though life will never be normal again for Kayle after the loss of her mom, I want to give her the best life possible moving forward, without the burden of medical bills and debt.
Thank you, friends, for any help you can provide. Know that we will always be grateful for your generosity.
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy ...
– Philippians 1:3-4
Can I ask you to spend 14 minutes watching this video about my late wife, Mai Tong?
Because if you do, you'll agree that life isn't measured by how many years a person lived. Rather, life is measured by how many lives were touched by a person, no matter how short their number of years on the earth.
My name is Kaoki John Vang and I want to tell you about this amazing person who touched and blessed my life in so many indescribable ways. But my story also needs your help. And that's why I've set up this campaign.
My wife, Mai Tong Y. Vang, passed away on January 12, 2019 at the age of 34. We have a beautiful daughter, Kayle, 14, who has her mom's generous, joyful spirit.
This Is Us. Me with the loves of my life: my daughter, Kayle, on the left, and my wife, Mai Tong.
Hole in Her Heart
Mai Tong was born with a hole in her heart. She was also born in Laos, where medical care and technology is nowhere near what we have been spoiled with here in the U.S. She spent the first five years of her life in Laos and the refugee camps in Thailand. When she and her family resettled in the U.S., doctors discovered the hole. The diagnosis explained her early childhood years, when she was often sick.
At age 12, she had open heart surgery. Her surgery was successful but she had already developed Pulmonary Artery Hyptertension, in which the blood vessels become scarred and shrink. The shrunken blood vessels increase the resistance to blood flow to the lungs, which then strains the heart by causing it to work harder. This resulted in making her constantly feel short of breath (but she was always able to skip out on gym class, much to her delight!).
Despite the physical limitations on her activity, Mai Tong’s childhood and adolescence were indiscernible from others’. She was an active member and leader of the youth group at Hmong Christian Reformed Church (where we met, fell in love and got married). She loved to sing and often sang for the church, as a member of the praise and worship team and during opportunities to praise God.
She was a wonderful big sister to her four younger siblings and countless cousins, with all of them often affectionately calling her their “second mom.” Her maturity, selflessness and overtly friendly nature was an instant people-magnet – many others were drawn to her and her contagious laughter. I miss her laughter so much.
Taking Our Chances
After the birth of Kayle, Mai Tong’s health started declining and she needed to be on medication that was constantly infused into her body to slow down the degradation of her lungs. Her physical health took a toll, limiting her physical activities.
In January 2017, doctors told us the medication was no longer effective and she would need a double lung transplant. Two different hospitals turned her down for the transplant before she was finally accepted by Duke University Hospital, which required us to move from our hometown of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, to Durham, North Carolina. In September 2017, she completed the prerequisites and she was accepted onto the waiting list in October 2017. On December 1, 2017 she was successfully transplanted.
We were overjoyed at this opportunity. Though the transplant was risky, it was better than doing nothing. Without the transplant, doctors said she had six months to a year to live. We were willing to take our chances.
Because it was such a major, high risk surgery with a long journey of rehabilitation, the doctors required her to have a full-time caretaker. That was me. That also meant I could not work full-time to support our family. Which meant that we would soon be without any employer health insurance. We also had to stick around Durham so the Duke doctors could monitor her with rehab and her regular checkups. We relied on the grace of God and kindness of family and friends to get us through these financially challenging times.
As she continued rehab, we also knew that the medical bills were piling up. We paid what we could, but we were nowhere close to putting a dent in the 7-figures-plus amount.
Saying Good-bye
And then in October 2018, she was re-admitted into the hospital. Her body had started to reject the lungs. There was also an infection in her blood stream. The infection and the antibodies causing the rejection had already done too much damage to her new lungs, and she could not recover from it. Christmas and New Year were spent by her bedside, watching her suffer through the pain of not being able to breathe.
With us by her side, she took her last breath on January 12, 2019 at 9:25 p.m. God had brought her home and she is now able to breathe freely again and sing even more loudly praising Him.
Mai Tong's mom was at her side during her last days.
Relying on Generosity
I miss my wife so much that it hurts. And Kayle puts on a brave face but she misses and needs her mom, too. They had the best mother-daughter relationship, rivaled only by Mai Tong's relationship with her mom.
These last few weeks have been a blur. But I know that we will need to face reality and prepare for life without her. Part of this challenge is simply trying to get through the mounds of medical bills, along with the expenses of her funeral.
Our families and friends and church continue to offer us amazing support. But we also need the support from our community of friends like you. Please know that any donation given is appreciated and can help make a difference. We know it is only possible through the grace of God.
Though life will never be normal again for Kayle after the loss of her mom, I want to give her the best life possible moving forward, without the burden of medical bills and debt.
Thank you, friends, for any help you can provide. Know that we will always be grateful for your generosity.
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy ...
– Philippians 1:3-4
Fundraising team (2)
Brotz Vang
Organizer
Sheboygan, WI
Nhia Yang
Team member
