Help Our Girl Get The Treatment She Needs.

Our daughter Maria, (pictured above at the tender age of 10,  just as this journey was beginning) who prefers to go by Mars now, has deteriorated significantly over the past several months after a year with crippling OCD, anxiety, depression, 3 in-patient hospitalizations (8 trips to the ER), and hundreds of self inflicted wounds and incessant bouts with suicidal ideation. She is now again barely able to come out of her room with out a full on emotional and physical meltdown.  The very act of breathing air shared by others is almost more than she can bare, so she wears two surgical masks.  She could barely even participate in Christmas morning - though God bless her she TRIED SO HARD. It has been a difficult year to say the least. It’s been worse - she is able to dress and eat and other fundental human functions - and for that we are grateful.   Many functions are still now so difficult for her.   She can't eat anything anyone has touched (including herself) without hyperventilating.   She cannot stay in a classroom.   She cannot be in the same room with anyone for more than 15-30 minutes (less if they show any signs of a cold).   Her current condition leaves her feeling so hopeless and defeated and scared for what kind of future she could possibly have.   Mars should have a bright future.   She is an incredible artist.   A sensitive soul.   She is amazing with her little sisters (aged 2&5) - plays with them, laughs with them - though now she cannot because they have the sniffles. The girls are left wondering why their big sister can't play with them (it just occurred to me that there may be some significance to why they have been playing "do you want to build a snowman" from frozen lately).   Mars hasn't been to school consistently for a year, though her schools have been wonderful in their attempts to support her.   She misses school.   She misses her friends.   She misses her family. Mars deserves so much more than this...

This is her sitting clear across the other end of the room on Christmas Morning just about a year after the first photo.  What you don't see here is the shaking, the heavy breathing, the inner battle between her brain that wants to flee and her heart that misses her family.     She is trying desperately to spend quality time with the family she loves, but not 5 minutes after this photo was taken, she ran upstairs in fear and tears.

SO... on January 9, she will be going to Rogers Hospital in Oconomowoc WI. It is one of the few (and many would say ONLY) place in the nation with the expertise and special programs to treat children this young with such intense OCD. While we are optimistic this treatment will be effective, it is also the ONLY treatment that has any chance of giving this beautiful girl a shot at a normal life. It is 6 hours away, not far enough to fly, just far enough to be a significant drive.  We are going to do what it takes to get her the treatment she needs.   This is a residential hospital.   The treatment she needs can't be done an hour or so a day, or a week, or even with in-patient care (we've already done all that).   So she needs to move in to the place that can help her slay this dragon.   She will very likely be there for 3-4 months.   We are terrified to be without her, but every day for at least the last two weeks, she expresses how badly she want to go, knowing full well how hard it will be, but desperately wants to be “normal” again.



This is a scary proposition. The logistics of this with a family of 6 (Her two sisters and a 12 year old older brother) are complicated. The hospital program is $30,000/month.  They will require a large deposit up front, depending on how the insurance comes through.  This could be anywhere from $4,700 to $9,000 to as much as $27,000.   There is, however, a history of even the best insurance companies trying to, and often succeeding in, forcing an early discharge, which almost always results in complete relapse.   Without the ability to keep her there while we fight, we would have to go through the hell of this relapse all over again.    We made some financial decisions (the house renovation) before we had any clue that this residential treatment was going to be needed.   We are hoping for the best.   Still, this involves a lot of travel, hotels, unpaid leave from work for both of us.   There are so many expenses beyond just the bill form the hospital (not to mention the thousands of dollars we have already paid and still owe from the hospitalizations from 2018).    We just got out from under significant debt and the thought of this setting us back again is overwhelming and terrifying.    This journey has already been an unbelievable strain on our family.   Fortunately, Mars' Mother and I are rock solid in our marriage of 18 years and though we are both worn badly, we are ready to keep fighting to keep this little girl alive.   Still, we need a village to get this magnificent girl through this.   We can't do it alone.   Please be our village.



So - I ask for this: Please pray for my family. Please pray especially for my sweet daughter. Those of you who have known her and seen her, know how she has been absolutely ravaged by this disease.    You may ask what it feels like to be where she is.   Words cannot describe it, but when she showed me this drawing (over 6 months ago) I knew we were dealing with something awful:


Finally, a Holiday wish from Mars.   This last piece is her Christmas Card, drawn from the self-confinement of her room:



If you can help with our goal, then we will be forever grateful.  If not, then please know how grateful we are for your prayers... We have seen the prayers work miracles for us.

It is with great humility that I put this forth. The support of our community has been absolutely incredible over the past several years. Please help us with this next huge step.