Help Howard

Ok People...here it goes,

What Happened:
Two years ago I was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. From the moment I was diagnosed I have been determined to fight and get back to healthy. Over the last two years I have undergone several surgeries and chemotherapy to combat the aggressive form of cancer I have and have been unable to work for the past 2 years. If you are just finding out I am, please don't charge it to my heart but I did not want anyone else to bare the burden of my diagnosis.

What's going on:
Recently, I was diagnosed as being terminaly ill. All disability has been cut due to my terminal diagnosis and because I have no source of income or assistance, my only option is to attempt to go back to work while I still have some strength.

Why I need your help:
I currently have no source of income and am receiving no employment/disability aid while I wait to take the necessary test in order to go back to work. ANY and ALL donations no matter how large or small are a huge help to covering medical and living expenses. I am living and fighting everyday and I am grateful for any of your help, support, love, and prayers. Thank you. 

Love,
Howard

P.S - if you do not feel comfortable donating via gofundme, I also have a cashapp and venmo account.

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                                     I hid

I hid when I was confined to my house
I did it by myself I didnt have a spouse

I hid most times when I was in the hospital
I didnt want you to see me and make it committal

I hid it I didnt want you to see me in that state
I hid it I thought it was up to me alone to carry that weight

I'm still hiding things outta sight outta mind
I'm holding on to the thing we all have the same amount of TIME

I hid it for all this time I didnt wanna believe
I thought if I hid it kept it to myself I'll be the only one to grieve

I hid the scars with a long sleeve shirt
I hid it I didnt want you to see where I was hurt

I hid these things cuz i didnt want you to see
I hid them i didnt want u 2 c what was
hurting me

I hid the swelling in my knees
I hid them because I wanted u to think I needed help?please

I hid the pain that was in my brain
I had a surgery but I wanted to appear the same

See i never been one to ask for attention
I just wanted 2 be the Howard you knew not the one from another dimension

I put on the classic smile and straight teeth
I didnt want you to know what lies beneath

You see this thing took me by surprise
I know how I felt for myself the tears the cries

I didnt know why me what I do wrong
I hid it from you because I wanted to be strong

I seen how at my worst I couldn't do it alone
I tried even tho I knew I could just go home

I hid it even tho in your face I was in pain
I hid it cuz i didnt want my cross to be in vain

I hid myself away when I had the i.v in my arm
I hid it from you I could not bear for u to see me in harm

I thought this was temporary I would get better
I still have that thought but then came the letter

It said hey you can't hide from this news
So on top of the news I still had external bruise

I hid things from you I have to say
I hid them cuz I thought I'll be better on day

I could not hide from the bills this IS true
I had to take that and pray I'll see it through

I know I can't hide from the pain
I want to see the sunshine after the rain

I hid it just because I didn't want you to see me suffer
I did it for friends coworkers family even my own mother

I hid it because all my life I have been strong
Now I have to see if this strength last long

I hid the fact that I was not walking straight
I hid it because Dr's said soon you will be in a crate

I hid it because I wanted to make sure I did good with my left time
I hid it because I never thought I would ask for a nickel or dime

Please don't get mad I just wanted to be normal
I hid it cuz i didnt wanna announce it and make it formal

I'm open now it's just a trail of life
I'm just happy to be here after going under the knife

I hid it I did it I just have to say
I was my own light even tho my life was gray

It is what it is now I gave it all I can
I hid it from you to prove I'M STILL A MAN.....

Inspired by many but written by me
I hid it because u expected me to be HOWARD LEE