Help Goo become a service dog!

Hi, everyone!

I'm assuming most of you know me, and if you know me, a lot of you have also already met my 14-month-old pup Goober. You also know my life revolves around dogs, and you know I'm someone who struggles with mental health issues, specifically bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety/panic disorder, OCD, and C-PTSD. It's all kind of intertwined in one big mess of feeling really down and hopeless, really overly sensitive and easily agitated beyond the point of reason, and prone to flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks. As you can imagine, this makes for a shit quality of life. Coming home to my dogs and escaping into nature with my dogs are about the only two forms of comfort I know.

If you've spent much time with my two older dogs, Lyla and Rosie, you know that despite their truly exceptional sweetness, they're just not cut out to be working dogs. They're a little too excitable and a little too anxious themselves. If they weren't, I would have put one of them through service dog training years ago! (Well, let's be honest: I never even considered it with the little goofball Rosie, but with sensitive, incomprehensibly emotionally intelligent Lyla I wanted to believe it could work, but I knew I was lying to myself every time I entertained that idea.)

I've always believed I would benefit greatly from having a service dog, but I personally would never have paid the fortune necessary to adopt one who's already trained, because I know those dogs will have no problem finding good homes with folks who need them, and of course there are so many dogs out there who have no one and need to be rescued, so of course I was always going to rescue those dogs in need. I thought for that reason I might never be able to have a service dog, but then along came Goo, handed to me on a silver platter: true perfection!

Suddenly I have a young, healthy dog with a perfect temperament. She basically just came that way! She was born perfect. Despite having had a very traumatic first five and a half months of her life before we met, she has persevered and is simply the perfect dog. It took a few months of persistent training to get her acclimated to the big bad world, but she's there now. She's been there for a few months. She's confident and well-adjusted. She's just an innately very good dog. She's gentle, she's affectionate, she's independent, she's got great intuition, she's curious but not nosy, playful but not out of control, she's just . . . she's it. You know what I mean? She's just perfect.

I want to partner with Holly Nelson at Best Friend Training School in Eureka, CA to train her to be my service dog. While I wish a service dog could help with my specifically physical medical issues, that doesn't seem possible, but I do believe that being able to keep Goo with me at almost all times would do wonders for my mental health.  Specifically, I am hoping she can help with overstimulation/sensory overload and panic attacks. I already know that in general, having canine companionship (especially from such emotionally intelligent dogs as mine) helps me to manage my depression and anxiety, but with Goober I am really hoping to take it to the next level. 

Of course, I would never put Goober in an unsafe situation. I would not take her to overly crowded public spaces where she could be physically unsafe, I would not take her to loud punk shows where her hearing could be damaged, I would not - you know what I mean. My dogs are my EVERYTHING, and their wellbeing will ALWAYS come first, but I can think of a multitude of completely safe scenarios in which having Goo by my side would make things so much better, especially once she is formally trained to work in these situations.

I am hoping to secure steady income and stable housing before beginning this training, but my hope is to have full time employment within the next two weeks (which I think is very realistic), to be in a long-term living situation by October (which I hope is realistic, but maybe November at worst), and to get Goo's formal training underway before the new year.

Her training will likely take the better part of a year if not longer, and will cost several thousand dollars, and I certainly do not want/do not feel the need to ask my friends and extended community to cover the entirety of it; I don't even expect or desire to hit my posted $3,000 goal, but I'm just hoping for whatever help you feel you can provide to get this process rolling. I will pay for all of her supplies and as much of her training as I can manage once I have income again, but I know that as a foodservice worker, dog walker, and house cleaner, I won't ever be earning enough to have a few thousand to spare. If you could help me get there, I would be so, so, so, so, so, so grateful.

Just think - if I weren't having panic attacks, flashbacks, and nightmares all the time, I might even be stable and well-rested enough to start a new, bigger endeavor like college! (I would like to go through a social work program, then pair that with my background in architecture to carve out a niche role in which I act as a liaison between the city and folks experiencing homelessness, wherein I assess the physical viability of abandoned buildings then write grants to get funds to rehab salvageable ones and get folks off the streets and into these homes, set up with classes, tools, and resources to ensure they are able to manage staying there long term. I think it would be slow-going, grueling work, but is the most rewarding thing I can imagine doing with my particular [presently unrefined, which is what I hope to change] skillset.) I might be able to accomplish greater things with my life some day! But as long as I'm trapped behind the constrictions of my mental health, I don't think it's realistic that I'll ever really progress. I'm already 30, and this is how far I've made it. You know what I mean? I'm bright and creative and inspired, but I'm so, so, so, so trapped. Could Goo's formal support be my key to success? I really think so.

One last thing I see fit to mention is that I can already anticipate judgmental replies, so I want to get one step ahead and say this:

- If it makes you uncomfortable when people discuss mental health issues, please take a long, hard look at yourself and the life you're living. Please reconsider making a condescending remark about another person's struggles or their earnest efforts at asking for help.

- If you don't know dogs and were going to say something like, "Don't make her work; just let her be a dog!" please don't speak where you don't know what you're talking about. Dogs THRIVE with structure and purpose. Most dogs LOVE working. Not all dogs are cut out to work, that's certainly true, but ALL dogs want to appease their handler. Obedience training, whether basic or advanced, is not only for a dog's safety and manageability, but also for their health, happiness, and overall wellbeing. A big component of service dog training is teaching the dog when they are in service and when they are not; if we complete this training, Goo will still have PLENTY of time to run around at the dog park like a goofball, she will still have time to play with friends and strangers, plenty of time off duty. But when she is wearing her vest and knows she's at work, she will be PROUD to perform that job. THAT is how dogs work! If my promise that my dogs ALWAYS come first and I will not do anything to compromise their wellbeing didn't assure you, please just slow down and start again from the top.

So! Thank you for not passing judgment! This is a way in which I am asking you to be supportive, but if you do not feel able to be supportive, please just step away and make space for those who do. This is NOT a place to cut me down.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll likely leave this campaign running as long as Goo is in training! But I'll need a few hundred dollars if not more just to get in the door at Best Friends, so I'm going to set an initial goal to raise $1,000 by October 1st. Thank you from the bottom of my damaged but pure little heart.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

P.S. Please do not hesitate to email me at martaclare at gmail dot com with questions, to tell me your similar story, or to learn about other ways I might be able to accept your support, especially if you're in Humboldt County!