Help Alicia Stabilize Severe Depression
Donation protected
It humbles me greatly to sit here, writing this, putting myself and my request out to the world. A request of such magnitude, asking for assistance in fighting for the health of my mind, my personality, and essentially, my life.
My name is Alicia and I am suffering from severe Major Depressive Disorder. My situation is urgent.
People who know me, see me as a bright and loving light, living with constant joy and a sound and solid mind. Those things have been true. I have lived many years of joy, generosity, love, and adventure. However, I have been suppressing my pain for quite a while now. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder about 5 years ago, and managed it relatively well for a few years. As time has gone by, things have gotten increasingly worse, making the last two years of my life incredibly painful and difficult.
It was this summer and fall of 2018, when everything shattered and my ability to function crumbled. And it has continued to worsen from that point. I began to have suicidal ideation and started to feel like I was no longer myself. My cognitive function began to deteriorate. I no longer enjoyed anything and wanted to die every day, because living in this perpetual state of mental and emotional anguish just seemed too much to bear. It feels as if my brain is a computer with a virus that has run rampant.
My loving and caring husband moved us back home to Vermont to get me the therapeutic and psychiatric care that I needed. I have pursued a lot of mental health care and been through a few outpatient therapy programs, as well as maintaining ongoing relationships with a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, a therapist, and a psychologist. I have been engaged in my care throughout this process, putting in a lot of effort to help myself. This winter has been agonizing for myself and those that love me.
While these avenues have proved helpful for small periods of time, I am in dire need of in-hospital care for a longer duration. I have been in and out of the hospital over the past 4 months, due to self harm and suicidal ideation. I am planning to stay at a mental health rehabilitation facility for a few months. Unfortunately these facilities are very expensive and cost is a limiting factor when it comes to me getting this help. My husband and I have gone through all of our savings during this time, paying hospital and provider bills and all other care. It is impossible for me to move forward with this further care without the finances to support it.
So here I sit, humbly requesting your financial help. I will be grateful and appreciative beyond words. If you cannot donate, I understand, and I greatly appreciate you reading this. I will be honest that I hesitated to set up this page. Many people set up funds for physical health campaigns, but there remains a stigma around mental health. I feel that mental health care is no less deserving of acceptance, understanding, and assistance. And so I feel that putting myself out here in such vulnerability, is the best way to help others understand and learn about mental illness, and eventually dissolve this stigma. And although I am incredibly humbled, asking for this assistance, I am not ashamed.
Vulnerability is the first step leading to the breakdown of shame, creating an environment where discussion is welcome and accepted. I will be part of the change that I want to see, and help others who suffer as well.
My situation is incredibly urgent. Any assistance you can offer is generous and will be cherished. I am giving every effort to achieve mental wellness again. I cannot do this alone. I know deep down, I still love this beautiful life.....I desperately need help seeing that light again.
My name is Alicia and I am suffering from severe Major Depressive Disorder. My situation is urgent.
People who know me, see me as a bright and loving light, living with constant joy and a sound and solid mind. Those things have been true. I have lived many years of joy, generosity, love, and adventure. However, I have been suppressing my pain for quite a while now. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder about 5 years ago, and managed it relatively well for a few years. As time has gone by, things have gotten increasingly worse, making the last two years of my life incredibly painful and difficult.
It was this summer and fall of 2018, when everything shattered and my ability to function crumbled. And it has continued to worsen from that point. I began to have suicidal ideation and started to feel like I was no longer myself. My cognitive function began to deteriorate. I no longer enjoyed anything and wanted to die every day, because living in this perpetual state of mental and emotional anguish just seemed too much to bear. It feels as if my brain is a computer with a virus that has run rampant.
My loving and caring husband moved us back home to Vermont to get me the therapeutic and psychiatric care that I needed. I have pursued a lot of mental health care and been through a few outpatient therapy programs, as well as maintaining ongoing relationships with a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, a therapist, and a psychologist. I have been engaged in my care throughout this process, putting in a lot of effort to help myself. This winter has been agonizing for myself and those that love me.
While these avenues have proved helpful for small periods of time, I am in dire need of in-hospital care for a longer duration. I have been in and out of the hospital over the past 4 months, due to self harm and suicidal ideation. I am planning to stay at a mental health rehabilitation facility for a few months. Unfortunately these facilities are very expensive and cost is a limiting factor when it comes to me getting this help. My husband and I have gone through all of our savings during this time, paying hospital and provider bills and all other care. It is impossible for me to move forward with this further care without the finances to support it.
So here I sit, humbly requesting your financial help. I will be grateful and appreciative beyond words. If you cannot donate, I understand, and I greatly appreciate you reading this. I will be honest that I hesitated to set up this page. Many people set up funds for physical health campaigns, but there remains a stigma around mental health. I feel that mental health care is no less deserving of acceptance, understanding, and assistance. And so I feel that putting myself out here in such vulnerability, is the best way to help others understand and learn about mental illness, and eventually dissolve this stigma. And although I am incredibly humbled, asking for this assistance, I am not ashamed.
Vulnerability is the first step leading to the breakdown of shame, creating an environment where discussion is welcome and accepted. I will be part of the change that I want to see, and help others who suffer as well.
My situation is incredibly urgent. Any assistance you can offer is generous and will be cherished. I am giving every effort to achieve mental wellness again. I cannot do this alone. I know deep down, I still love this beautiful life.....I desperately need help seeing that light again.
Fundraising team (2)
Alicia Narava
Organizer
Burlington, VT
John Butler
Team member
Ashley Arrows
Team member
