"Fight the Line" Karissa's Journey
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“Education is the most powerful weapon you can give somebody” – Nelson Mandela
She:kon,
My name is Karissa John and I am Mohawk of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy, Six Nations. I have applied to the Native American & Indigenous Studies Association (NAISA) Conference in Hawaii, and was successfully selected to present on my paper titled “‘Haudenosaunee Nation: Restricted & Confined, Fight for Justice, ‘Fight the Line’”. I am seeking communal support and any financial endorsements to help cover the costs of travel and accommodations. I have provided a brief introduction of who I am, and how I came to be on this journey of academia and justice for the Haudenosaunee.
As a Mohawk woman, I do not identify as Canadian or American. My people of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy, who inhabited this land for thousands and thousands of years before contact, did not have boundaries, did not have borders - Canada and the United States is a construction. Being born in Buffalo NY and raised in Fort Erie ON, aided in my confusion early on while negotiating my identity.
I never felt that I belonged to a particular country, rather I maintain that I am Onkwehón:we of Turtle Island. The ambiguity of this resiliency is compelling though; for on the one hand, I am resisting the allure of conforming to an imposed settler colonial identity, an identity that if embraced, would enable me to see the world outside Turtle Island and would make travel easier and more accessible. While on the other hand, to “refuse the gift” (of settler citizenship) aids in the assertion of Haudenosaunee sovereignty; however, this resistance means that I am restricted and confined to Turtle Island (North America). Fortunately though, I am privileged to be Mohawk of Six Nations, at least I can continue to travel between Canada and the United States (by land). Unjustifiably, for those of the Haudenosaunee Nations situated on the southern side of the imaginary line (between Canada and the U.S.A), some are confined only to the United States. It is this grave violation of our inherent rights as the original peoples that motivated me to go back to school so I can learn the history of these lands and understand the processes which sustain the ongoing colonization of my people by the way of colonial divide and conquer strategies. To this end, I am currently pursuing my undergraduate degree at York University, double majoring in Interdisciplinary Social Science and Multicultural and Indigenous Studies.
Despite my recent accomplishments, education and I had quite the obscure relationship growing up. I went from being valedictorian of my grade 8 class, honour roll and student athlete in grade 10, to acquiring an anti-education attitude by eleventh grade. While working in Six Nations on weekends, I read a story of a priest going across Canada “digging up dirt” on the history of church and federally sanctioned residential schools. This evoked me to begin doing my own research about the history of Canada - which to even consider one has to look at the history of “Canada's” original peoples. Needless to say, I didn't like what I found. The atrocities that were committed against innocent people – men, women and children, especially children – by these 'Holy' people, blew my mind. It lead me to a new awareness and I began to think critically of the world around me. It was then, about eleventh grade, so 16/17 years old, that I hit a huge identity crisis.
This new 'awakening' proved to be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it had awakened my mind to truths and realities, it taught me to be a critical thinker and to question everything. A curse because these realities are dark, sad, and they brought on a type of depression, an isolation. All those years that I felt strong, and thought I was immune to the destructive cycle, immune to the dangerous affects that alcohol has on my people, my family - I was wrong. The deep emotions I was feeling had brought back bad memories of my childhood, things that I worked so hard to block out. So there I went into the dark, empty abyss, falling down the road to self-destruction, that bottomless pit that feeds off the hurt and pain of my people. I wasn't living, I wasn't alive; I was empty and numb. The wrath of the poison clings so strong to those in pain and suffering, it is the cycle, the endless, destructive cycle.
After four years of heavy drinking I endured hard time after hard time – all lessons trying to get me to stop and live my true purpose. Despite near death experiences and legal problems, it wasn’t until a terrible car crash [which I had no business surviving] that I finally hit rock bottom.
Now when you hit rock bottom there are only two options - life or death - you either stay there, or you climb. When I hit rock bottom five years ago, I chose life, I chose to climb. I call this defining moment in my life my ‘spiritual awakening’ because it rocked my life so hard that I had nothing left but to turn my life to Creator and pray that he got me to it and he will get me through it. I chose sobriety and to spend the rest of my days devoted to finding my life purpose and living in accordance with principles of love, peace and respect. And Creator has been so good to me; I understand now that all of those terrible experiences were lessons I needed to learn so I can be in a position to help my people for the better. So I can understand firsthand what youth are going through and I can use my voice, use my new found strength and help them. Therefore, I decided in order to do that I needed to go back to school. Knowing that my grades weren’t the greatest my last couple years of school I asked the Universe/Creator for a program I can take that can somehow get me to University without having to go to college first. Almost as soon as I put it out there, it came and I enrolled in York’s Women’s Bridging Program January of 2012, finished in April, and walked into York University that fall.
I am finding, the more I learn of my ancestors and the various implications of colonization, the more I understand my people, my family and myself. This understanding brings a tremendous amount of healing and I know now why they say that ‘knowledge is power’ and I’d add, that it sets you free.
Years ago I made a promise to my best friends that I was going to do something to correct the injustice that is colonial powers dividing Haudenosaunee, dividing us. And when I was presented with flexibility in my History of Aboriginal Peoples in Canada course to write a research paper of my interest, I jumped at the opportunity to explore border crossing issues as they pertain to Haudenosaunee specifically. Through tears of utter frustration and feeling so disheartened by this gross misconduct of justice in the 21st century, my heart ached throughout the process, yet I worked through it and put my heart and soul into the research and writing hoping to do some justice to a very unjust situation. Ultimately, my professor nominated the paper for a history award and later in April 2015 I was asked to present it at the Critical Ethnic Studies Association (CESA) conference which took place at York. A friend had then encouraged me to submit an abstract to the Native American and Indigenous Studies Association (NAISA) conference taking place May 18-21st at the University of Hawaii. Originally I had missed the November 1st deadline to apply and feeling bummed out, on November 2nd I visited the website and was so happy to find the deadline was extended to November 4th – my 5th year anniversary of sobriety. And with the support of friends I met at CESA, I submitted my abstract. On the morning of December 29th I woke up to messages of “check your email” and sure enough my paper, “Haudenosaunee Nation, Restricted and Confined, Fight for Justice, ‘Fight the Line’” was accepted!
I don’t believe in coincidences and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. After all, the dark days have taught me to have faith and trust the process – whatever is meant to be will be. And I have all the faith in the world that I am meant to take this paper to this conference and see where it will go from there. My hopes for this paper is to serve not only as a resource on the history of border crossing issues but as a call to action. It is an invitation to the Haudenosaunee to learn of this history and to organize our collective efforts, our voice, to demand redress for this ongoing colonial abuse. To call on Canada’s newly elected Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, to follow through on his “Nation-to-Nation” promises and see to it that the Jay Treaty is ratified in Canadian legislation – as it should be.
Unfortunately, there isn’t any funding at York for undergraduate students to attend conferences and the other options I have explored (i.e., Dreamcatcher Fund) do not cover individual trips. Furthermore, my refusal to get a settler passport requires me to travel out of Buffalo NY (which is double the cost of flights leaving Toronto and the U.S dollar is really high right now). This is why I am hoping to raise enough funds to atleast cover the travel portion of my trip. Because the costs of flights raise as the days go by, time is of the essence. As a student, I do not have the extra funds at the moment to book a flight to Hawaii so I greatly appreciate any support I get!
The amount of encouragement and support that I receive by loved ones and friends is already generous and incredibly humbling. It truly means so much to me knowing that I have a whole community behind me and the work that I do and intend to continue doing.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and for all your love, support and guidance as I embark on this journey of picking up the torch of my ancestor Deskaheh Levi General who took the fight to the United Nations and urged the Haudenosaunee to continue to “fight the line” – continue the fight for Haudenosaunee rights to cross the border. I feel that they (my ancestors) are still doing their work, through me. And in that way, we are always connected and the work of my great-great-great uncle Deskaheh is not forgotten, but lives on in me.
Nia:wen Kowa,
Karissa
She:kon,
My name is Karissa John and I am Mohawk of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy, Six Nations. I have applied to the Native American & Indigenous Studies Association (NAISA) Conference in Hawaii, and was successfully selected to present on my paper titled “‘Haudenosaunee Nation: Restricted & Confined, Fight for Justice, ‘Fight the Line’”. I am seeking communal support and any financial endorsements to help cover the costs of travel and accommodations. I have provided a brief introduction of who I am, and how I came to be on this journey of academia and justice for the Haudenosaunee.
As a Mohawk woman, I do not identify as Canadian or American. My people of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy, who inhabited this land for thousands and thousands of years before contact, did not have boundaries, did not have borders - Canada and the United States is a construction. Being born in Buffalo NY and raised in Fort Erie ON, aided in my confusion early on while negotiating my identity.
I never felt that I belonged to a particular country, rather I maintain that I am Onkwehón:we of Turtle Island. The ambiguity of this resiliency is compelling though; for on the one hand, I am resisting the allure of conforming to an imposed settler colonial identity, an identity that if embraced, would enable me to see the world outside Turtle Island and would make travel easier and more accessible. While on the other hand, to “refuse the gift” (of settler citizenship) aids in the assertion of Haudenosaunee sovereignty; however, this resistance means that I am restricted and confined to Turtle Island (North America). Fortunately though, I am privileged to be Mohawk of Six Nations, at least I can continue to travel between Canada and the United States (by land). Unjustifiably, for those of the Haudenosaunee Nations situated on the southern side of the imaginary line (between Canada and the U.S.A), some are confined only to the United States. It is this grave violation of our inherent rights as the original peoples that motivated me to go back to school so I can learn the history of these lands and understand the processes which sustain the ongoing colonization of my people by the way of colonial divide and conquer strategies. To this end, I am currently pursuing my undergraduate degree at York University, double majoring in Interdisciplinary Social Science and Multicultural and Indigenous Studies.
Despite my recent accomplishments, education and I had quite the obscure relationship growing up. I went from being valedictorian of my grade 8 class, honour roll and student athlete in grade 10, to acquiring an anti-education attitude by eleventh grade. While working in Six Nations on weekends, I read a story of a priest going across Canada “digging up dirt” on the history of church and federally sanctioned residential schools. This evoked me to begin doing my own research about the history of Canada - which to even consider one has to look at the history of “Canada's” original peoples. Needless to say, I didn't like what I found. The atrocities that were committed against innocent people – men, women and children, especially children – by these 'Holy' people, blew my mind. It lead me to a new awareness and I began to think critically of the world around me. It was then, about eleventh grade, so 16/17 years old, that I hit a huge identity crisis.
This new 'awakening' proved to be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it had awakened my mind to truths and realities, it taught me to be a critical thinker and to question everything. A curse because these realities are dark, sad, and they brought on a type of depression, an isolation. All those years that I felt strong, and thought I was immune to the destructive cycle, immune to the dangerous affects that alcohol has on my people, my family - I was wrong. The deep emotions I was feeling had brought back bad memories of my childhood, things that I worked so hard to block out. So there I went into the dark, empty abyss, falling down the road to self-destruction, that bottomless pit that feeds off the hurt and pain of my people. I wasn't living, I wasn't alive; I was empty and numb. The wrath of the poison clings so strong to those in pain and suffering, it is the cycle, the endless, destructive cycle.
After four years of heavy drinking I endured hard time after hard time – all lessons trying to get me to stop and live my true purpose. Despite near death experiences and legal problems, it wasn’t until a terrible car crash [which I had no business surviving] that I finally hit rock bottom.
Now when you hit rock bottom there are only two options - life or death - you either stay there, or you climb. When I hit rock bottom five years ago, I chose life, I chose to climb. I call this defining moment in my life my ‘spiritual awakening’ because it rocked my life so hard that I had nothing left but to turn my life to Creator and pray that he got me to it and he will get me through it. I chose sobriety and to spend the rest of my days devoted to finding my life purpose and living in accordance with principles of love, peace and respect. And Creator has been so good to me; I understand now that all of those terrible experiences were lessons I needed to learn so I can be in a position to help my people for the better. So I can understand firsthand what youth are going through and I can use my voice, use my new found strength and help them. Therefore, I decided in order to do that I needed to go back to school. Knowing that my grades weren’t the greatest my last couple years of school I asked the Universe/Creator for a program I can take that can somehow get me to University without having to go to college first. Almost as soon as I put it out there, it came and I enrolled in York’s Women’s Bridging Program January of 2012, finished in April, and walked into York University that fall.
I am finding, the more I learn of my ancestors and the various implications of colonization, the more I understand my people, my family and myself. This understanding brings a tremendous amount of healing and I know now why they say that ‘knowledge is power’ and I’d add, that it sets you free.
Years ago I made a promise to my best friends that I was going to do something to correct the injustice that is colonial powers dividing Haudenosaunee, dividing us. And when I was presented with flexibility in my History of Aboriginal Peoples in Canada course to write a research paper of my interest, I jumped at the opportunity to explore border crossing issues as they pertain to Haudenosaunee specifically. Through tears of utter frustration and feeling so disheartened by this gross misconduct of justice in the 21st century, my heart ached throughout the process, yet I worked through it and put my heart and soul into the research and writing hoping to do some justice to a very unjust situation. Ultimately, my professor nominated the paper for a history award and later in April 2015 I was asked to present it at the Critical Ethnic Studies Association (CESA) conference which took place at York. A friend had then encouraged me to submit an abstract to the Native American and Indigenous Studies Association (NAISA) conference taking place May 18-21st at the University of Hawaii. Originally I had missed the November 1st deadline to apply and feeling bummed out, on November 2nd I visited the website and was so happy to find the deadline was extended to November 4th – my 5th year anniversary of sobriety. And with the support of friends I met at CESA, I submitted my abstract. On the morning of December 29th I woke up to messages of “check your email” and sure enough my paper, “Haudenosaunee Nation, Restricted and Confined, Fight for Justice, ‘Fight the Line’” was accepted!
I don’t believe in coincidences and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. After all, the dark days have taught me to have faith and trust the process – whatever is meant to be will be. And I have all the faith in the world that I am meant to take this paper to this conference and see where it will go from there. My hopes for this paper is to serve not only as a resource on the history of border crossing issues but as a call to action. It is an invitation to the Haudenosaunee to learn of this history and to organize our collective efforts, our voice, to demand redress for this ongoing colonial abuse. To call on Canada’s newly elected Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, to follow through on his “Nation-to-Nation” promises and see to it that the Jay Treaty is ratified in Canadian legislation – as it should be.
Unfortunately, there isn’t any funding at York for undergraduate students to attend conferences and the other options I have explored (i.e., Dreamcatcher Fund) do not cover individual trips. Furthermore, my refusal to get a settler passport requires me to travel out of Buffalo NY (which is double the cost of flights leaving Toronto and the U.S dollar is really high right now). This is why I am hoping to raise enough funds to atleast cover the travel portion of my trip. Because the costs of flights raise as the days go by, time is of the essence. As a student, I do not have the extra funds at the moment to book a flight to Hawaii so I greatly appreciate any support I get!
The amount of encouragement and support that I receive by loved ones and friends is already generous and incredibly humbling. It truly means so much to me knowing that I have a whole community behind me and the work that I do and intend to continue doing.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and for all your love, support and guidance as I embark on this journey of picking up the torch of my ancestor Deskaheh Levi General who took the fight to the United Nations and urged the Haudenosaunee to continue to “fight the line” – continue the fight for Haudenosaunee rights to cross the border. I feel that they (my ancestors) are still doing their work, through me. And in that way, we are always connected and the work of my great-great-great uncle Deskaheh is not forgotten, but lives on in me.
Nia:wen Kowa,
Karissa
Organizer
Karissa John
Organizer
Fort Erie, ON
