Xenia’s Heartbreaking Story
Ok, so you folks know I very rarely, if
ever, ask you for anything (other than to
floss daily and bring me cake). Today,
however, I have a MASSIVE ask: I have
known Xenia for over thirty years. We
were at Uni together and even then she was absolutely passionate about
everything she did - I should know ... I
was in the Varsity rowing team and
witnessed her regularly reducing huge
men to quivering wrecks as she coxed
them to victory. As the fates would have
it I now live in the UK and she lives in
the town I spent most of my formative
years in - Swakopmund, on the west
coast of Namibia. And therein lies the
problem.
Xenia’s 21 year-old son Michael is
desperately ill in Germany and she
NEEDSto get to him as he has no family
there. The current exchange rate, as well as the exorbitant increase in the cost of
air travel, makes it virtually impossible
for her to do that. Once she’s there she’s
going to need to rent a flat along with all the other minutiae that go with caring
for an extremely ill person.
She is going to need to be there for at
least six months as Mika undergoes the
rigorous chemotherapy and surgery he
faces in order to try and bring him back
to health.
This is where we can ALL help: Please
read Xenia’s story and, if it moves you,
contribute what you can so we can get
her to her boy. I’m asking this of you for
the simple reason that in these
unprecedented times of confusion and
uncertainty, this is something we can do
that really matters.
REALLY matters.
My philosophy in life is “be the person
you want others to be”. This is me asking you to help me be that person and, by
extension, all of you too.
Let’s make a miracle happen.
Let’s do this.
Xenia and I thank you from the bottom ofour hearts.
MICHAEL’S JOURNEY TO WELLNESS
My son is my baby, today, tomorrow, and always. I don’t care if he’s a toddler or a
50-year-old man, I will defend and
protect him all of my life.
But sometimes, the fierce, protective
mother lioness is challenged to her very
core. Sometimes, things happen to her
son that are beyond her control… and
there can be nothing more terrifying for a mother than being powerless to
protect and support her child.
Sometimes the phone rings and your
heart races because your son is calling
you from afar and you can’t wait to catch up on his latest adventures. But this time, the call was that which every mother
dreads - it was the call that made my
heart stop … and shatter.
What had started as a fairly routine
‘sciatica’ diagnosis a few weeks before,
had spiralled to an emergency MRI scan which revealed the source of the pain as a massive tumor pushing on his spinal
chord.
My 20 year old son, Michael, charismatic, gregarious, gorgeous, healthy and
athletic, who was on his gap year in
Germany and who had been playing
soccer only 6 weeks before, was now my little boy, frightened, in pain and facing
the greatest challenge of his life
without me, halfway across the globe.
Exactly 3 weeks ago, my perfect young
man was diagnosed with Stage 4
Burkitt’s Lymphoma, a very rare and
unique form of cancer that is so
aggressive, it doubles its cells every
24hrs. The rapid growth and size of the
tumour had pushed the central nerves of
his spine up against the lumbar
vertebrae and caused paralysis of the
lower half of his body.
The first priority was to operate
immediately to release the pressure
on the nerves to avoid permanent
paralysis. He spent a week in the Neurology Ward, where the incredible medical
team managed to save his legs and
restore feeling in his lower body. At the end of that week he was able to shuffle
along, and even stand for a few seconds, which was a huge relief to him and a
massive cause for celebration amongst
his friends around the globe!
Sport is his biggest passion and he
couldn’t even contemplate a future
where he wouldn’t be able to play soccer.
But no sooner had he celebrated this
happy news, than the shocking diagnosis came back from his tumour biopsy. The
dreaded C-word!
He was immediately moved to the
Oncology Ward and started on intense
chemotherapy. As a fierce and
protective mother this will go down as
the worst day of my life. Every atom in
my being ached and strove to be at his
side and comfort him, hold him in my
arms and support him, tell him that everything would be alright as long as we were together. But this very human, maternal
right, was denied me.
Due to the dreaded Covid-19, I am
trapped in my country and have
absolutely no way to get to him. I feel
like I could break into a million pieces.
I live in Namibia, and our country is in
Lockdown. Michael is in Hannover
University Hospital in Germany, almost
10 000km away. And I just can’t get to
him. Every route I try, I reach a dead
end. Our borders are closed to
international traffic. Everyone has their
own share of complaints about how
frustrating and destructive the Covid-19 lockdown has been on a global scale, but on my small, singular scale, it has made
my whole life implode. How can a mother not be able to get to her beloved son
when he needs her the most?
Michael has just completed his first cycle of chemo, which ended on his 21st
birthday, the 9th of June. He bore this
scary and toxic haze of treatments in
isolation in the chemo ward. He felt like a human pincushion, until eventually he
didn’t even feel like a human anymore.
But thanks to his incredible friends in
Germany, he has a support network who bring him treats and surprises, even
though he cannnot receive them as
visitors.
The psychologist who visits all the Stage 4 patients told him he was amazing - she has never seen anyone so positive at that stage of chemotherapy. He is so proud to feel he had achieved at being positive
and strong. Still dreaming of being
outdoors and getting on the soccer pitch, he took a bit of a knock when he heard
that he has another 3-4 week stay in
hospital. All he wants is to feel the
sunshine and smell fresh air, but his
immune system has crashed so there is
no way he can be outdoors.
As for the long-term prognosis, only time will tell, but his doctor tells me in no
uncertain terms that the next 6 months
are critical. Michael will need me 24/7.
He has another half a year of intense
chemo ahead of him. The doctor warned me that it is equally important to
monitor the side-effects as it is for the
chemo treatment itself.
His doctor’s advice is that I must be with him as soon as he is able to leave the
hospital, as coming to terms with his
future reality will be a difficult time for
him and he will need ALL the support he can get. My plan is to move to Germany
for at least the next 6 months, leaving my husband, our business and pets in
Namibia, to be a full-time mother to
Michael in this critical stage of his
treatment, recuperation and healing
process.
Unfortunately, my greatest stumbling
block is not my dear husband begging me to stay, but the atrocious state of the
exchange rate between Namibian Dollarand the Euro (Euro 1 = Namibian$19.37) It is almost impossible to imagine how I
will be able to live and support my son in Europe when our currency is worth
virtually nothing. All exacerbated by the
Covid-crushing economic situation and
the fact that our livelihood depends on
tourism, which has been non-existent
since March. I do have faith and believe
that I will find a way to get to him, it’s non-negotiable now, and I’m holding out for
the next available flight that doesn’t cost me a year’s income.
On the positive side, it has been
incredible to see the outpouring of love
and respect for Michael among his peers, friends, teachers, coaches and family
across the globe. And I know, like me, we all feel so desperate and helpless right
now. None of us can do anything to
change the course of Michael’s current
arduous and heartbreaking journey, but we can all come together to support him to the utmost, as he embraces his future one day at a time.
For those who feel they would like to
contribute to Michael’s journey to
wellness, we have set up this GoFundMe account as a platform for contributions
that will help us to be reunited so that I
can embrace my role as his fierce,
protective mother and support and
nurture him back to health and strength. I have no doubt that his mother’s love
and compassion will give him the boost
he needs to see him through the next 6
challenging months.
I hugely appreciate all your support, kindness and, most importantly, your compassion during this stressful and heart -
wrenching time.
And to my darling Michael, I am so proud that you chose me for this role. No-one
else can ever know the strength of my
love for you, after all, you’re the only one who knows the sound of my heartbeat
from the inside.
