Desperately Seeking Surgery

Introduction

Hello, my name is Jamie, and I'm bigender, meaning I am both a boy and a girl. I am starting this fundraiser and asking for help because I need top surgery.

What This Is About

I have dysphoria, meaning my brain's map of my body and my actual body don't line up, most significantly in the chest area, this creates intense distress and discomfort for me, thus I desperately need a surgery, known to many transgender people as "top surgery" in order to relieve this. Top surgery is also referred to as a mastectomy, which is the removal of breast tissue, and essentially the whole breast. 

I am a J-cup. The size of them means I can't compress them down safely, some trans people can wear a garment called a binder that compresses their chest to look flat, I can not do this, I have tried 5 binders, including a custom-sized one, and the most they could do was make it look like I was wearing a tank top that was kinda too tight, my bra held me in place better than they did. I have to go outside looking like this, and because I am both a boy and a girl, it is pretty distressing knowing that people can take one look at me and write me off as just being a girl. My main dream in life is to look androgynous.

The distress I get by just existing like this and having other people see me like this is so severe that I have an extremely hard time leaving the house, I would like to go to college, but the thought of people seeing me like this and assuming I'm a girl is overwhelming and devastating. I feel like I'm stuck because I just can't do anything like this.

In order to get insurance to cover it, I would have to lose weight, the amount of weight I would have to lose in a healthy manner would take years, and I honestly can't just sit here and stagnate for years, I want to go to college, I want to be productive. I have tried losing weight, but exercise is hard for me as I am physically disabled, my joints are intrinsically weak due to a genetic disorder, which makes basic movements and activities such as walking, running, and even standing incredibly painful. I have also tried dieting, counting calories, it didn't work even a little bit, and like I said, even if I could lose the weight, doing so in a healthy fashion would just take too long for me to be able to bear it. I was evaluated for gastric bypass in order to help me lose weight, however I was disqualified because if I got it, the medication that I need may not get absorbed properly and work as well.

In addition to the dysphoria, having a chest of this size means intense back and neck pain, I feel as if I'm carrying a 20-pound backpack on my front at all times, I can not lay on my back as the weight of them makes me feel as if I'm suffocating. My shoulders have indents in them from where my bra-strap digs in, and I frequently have rashes and other skin issues due to the size of them.

In Conclusion

Although I'm generally not one to ask for money, this was brought to my attention as an idea, and I am at my wits end, I have tried all that is available to me and this is my last effort, I feel I have no other choice but to ask for help, so please consider donating or at least sharing this with others.

Thank you.