Stage IV Recurrent Ovarian Cancer is a formidable opponent and the last three months have been a roller coaster of emotions, infections, fatigue, insomnia and transformation. I had no idea that the second time around would be so much harder than when Ovarian Cancer showed up in ten organs in October 2016. This has been an entirely different journey. Through the Grace of God, I’m not dying yet. I’m still here. Amazed. Grateful. A miracle.
As I enter my fourth month of weekly three-hour chemo with a deadline of December 20 and monthly Neulasta shots to keep my blood counts up on a fragile immune system, I do so with hope and gratitude for health, for a community of support, for a stronger immune system, for an oncology treatment team who remains steadfast and supportive, for insights and observations, for financial help, for a deeper walk with God, for healing. I am truly blessed.
I am so grateful for all the support I have received via GoFundMe, grateful to my Cousin Sue for making it happen. At a time of financial uncertainty for each one of us, the outpouring of financial support has touched me so deeply and humbled me to the core. Because of your belief in me and love for me and Montana, you gave me my dog back. Montana’s stem cell surgery on September 28 is a success. He is walking pain-free! He is sometimes running! I am so very grateful. He has a new phase of recovery with physical therapy to build muscle around the joint that has permanently fused in his left elbow. The limp remains. But he’s a happy boy and I am a most grateful Mom.
As for me, I will continue to live with this incurable but treatable cancer as I finish off my chemotherapy and then go into recovery – which is a journey unto itself. I am updating my GoFundMe appeal because new people have entered my life and asked if they could help me. I was stunned. This is all so new for me asking for financial help – and receiving it from family, friends and strangers. I keep shaking my head in disbelief, yet my God continues to sustain me through it all. Thank you all so much. Thank you, God, for directing my path.
Every dollar donated thus far has been used to pay off past medical bills, keep the utilities on, buy my food and dog food/treats/supplements, pay for Montana’s surgery, put gas in the car to get to medical appointments, greatly reduce my stress level so I can focus on transformative healing. I been downsizing and selling off furniture. There’s more to come. I am not living the high life and haven’t even bought lottery tickets. But admittedly, I have shared with others less fortunate than me when they cross my path asking for help on the street.
My faith assures me that all is well, and I continue to thank my Prayer Warriors – you know who you are – for holding me up and keeping me in the Light during this initial three months of a dark night of the soul when dying seemed closer than ever and crisis was all around me. Keep those prayers coming – they’ve lifted me up and kept me going when going didn’t seem like an option, they’ve reminded me I’m not alone, they’ve encouraged me and joined with my prayers to triumph once again, they’ve helped to grow hair DURING chemo, something that is unusual to say the least. Then again, this is an unusual journey.
For those who have donated and supported me, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I ask that you simply recirculate my post. I want to get through chemo plus three months post-chemo. I’m circulating resumes but no bites. I still have daily overhead because my immune system remains fragile. I’ve been denied some benefits that I had hoped would cover the gap and the paperwork trails are enormous. I still have supplements to purchase $60/month, co-pays on insurance of $200/month, utilities of $200/month to catch up, Montana’s physical therapy/$1500, the food that’s required on the Radical Remission plan.
I never forget that I am a miracle. I never forget that you are a miracle. I never forget that the Master Healer, my God of all creation, my Jesus, is at work in me and through me and with me. I never forget how blessed I am that you have stepped forward to embrace me through my tears and walk with me through Stage IV Recurrent Ovarian Cancer. Together, this Teal Sister will rise again. Thank you for your prayers, love, encouragement and support. Thank you for the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul.
I have good advice and sound wisdom; I have insight, I have strength.
-- Proverbs 8:14.
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