Single Mother Battling Stage 3 Cancer

Hello, my name is Michelle Rocha.  I am many things; a Hospice Coordinator at Kaiser Permanente in Northern California, a volunteer disability advocate, a Union Leader for SEIU-UHW, a single mother to a beautiful 10-year-old boy, Sebastian, and completely and utterly exhausted.  I have been blessed in this life to have been part of so many other’s struggles and now I humbly ask for your support in mine.  

I have been awake for over two days and am riddled with symptoms that accompany chemotherapy:  severe fatigue, migraines, nausea, hair loss, searing neuropathic pain in my hands and feet, narrowing of my throat, insomnia, and of course, unrelenting anxiety.  I write this plea for help with utmost humility.  I simply have nothing left to lose, my pride being a small price to save my son and to keep some stability in his life.  Without help from the community, Sebastian and I are in danger of losing everything right now.

 On September 29, 2020, during the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, I had a mild heart attack which landed me on full disability for two months.  Prior to this date I was fighting for patient safety and against corporate greed in my role as an SEIU union representative.  I returned to work part-time and began having GI symptoms which my doctor dismissed multiple times and refused to order tests. It was not until July 3, 2021 that I was diagnosed with Stage 3 metastatic colon cancer.  I underwent surgery at the end of July and started aggressive chemotherapy at the end of August.  So much precious time had been wasted.  My world just stopped.  I was and still am shattered.  All I can think of is my son. What will happen to him should I not make it through this? I am his sole provider.

 My chemotherapy sessions are approximately fifty hours every two weeks with a twelve-day recovery period before undergoing another round for a total of 18 rounds (10 more to go).  I can tolerate the symptoms, excruciating as they may be.  Most days I can tolerate the barrage of stress that comes with complete financial and health collapse.  What is more challenging to tolerate is seeing my son navigate his way through this unimaginable life event and not being able to be physically close to him to soothe him as the chemo makes me toxic to others.  He is left to suffer alone.  It being the holidays makes it all that more painful.

 Sebastian has been in therapy for stress and anxiety for about a month now.  He has pulled out all his eyelashes due to severe stress. This has not been an easy journey for us as a family. My state disability ran out in September and I have not had an income for over four months now. I used up all our savings, maxed out my credit cards for cash advances to pay bills, and now Christmas is coming and here I am, humbling myself as a mother asking for help for the sake of my son.  We have no money left to pay basic bills, let alone therapists.

 We cannot qualify for government assistance because we have a home and a 401K. I took a loan from my 401K when I first went on disability and additional loans are not feasible.  I am in danger of losing my job and health insurance.  I am grateful we have made it this far as God has blessed us to live each miraculous day but the road is long and our resources are depleted.

 I am grateful for my local friends and family, especially Kym Hensley who has helped immensely with organizing Meal Train, but I know that it is time for me to do something drastic.  This is that something drastic.  I need help.  Sebastian needs help.   

Yesterday the missionaries from our church visited to deliver a Christmas message.  We reflected on how amazing God has been despite what my son and I have been going through. They prayed for us. Toward the end of their visit, they asked me to ponder a question: “What does Heavenly Father want you to know right now?”

After putting Sebastian to bed and reading The Bible, I reflected on this question and I came across an answer in Exodus 18:14-15, “When [Moses’] father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, ‘What is this that you are doing for the people? Why do you sit alone, and all the people stand around you from morning till evening?’”  This made me realize that my pride was preventing me from asking for help when I so desperately need it.  I found more insight in Psalm 10:4 “In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God” and in Proverbs 11:2, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”

Now, I am just leaving it all to God, obeying what he has asked me to do for my son and I; humbling myself and trusting that God’s plan will prevail.  If you can donate anything towards helping Sebastian and I during this challenging time it would be greatly appreciated.  If you could send this plea out into the world, that would also be greatly appreciated.  Any and all support is welcome.

 I would like to conclude with this scripture, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight”.


Thank you for your time in reading this.

Happy holidays and may God bless you all,

 

Michelle