The family of our departed brother James Blue
“It’s officially been 10 days since you were taken from us dad. I’m still not able to fully understand the reason behind it. Where do I start? How am I supposed to write anything about you without losing myself in all of the time that you gave me? You were the greatest, you are the greatest, you always made us feel so safe. As long as we were with you we felt like there was no harm that could ever come upon us. You always knew what to say, you always knew how to treat people, you made everyone who ever encountered you feel loved, you made everyone who met you know that you didn’t play about your family. I remember last year on your 42nd Bday. I asked you “How did you do it? How did u do it all” I couldn’t understand how you were able to raise me, my brother, and sister with so much unconditional love, you filled us with so much comfort, yet made sure we were uncomfortable at times so we would continuously grow. I was your first born son, you never left me or ma side. You always used to tell me how I saved your life by you having me, but you don’t understand how much you saved my life by giving me your time. You didn’t have a father in your life, you never did, and yet you vowed to stay in mine. You been with ma since you were 15. Not ONCE, did you ever make us not feel safe. It’s no question that your appearance of a 6’3 225 pound African American man made your physical presence be known. However there was no presence like yours, any room you walked into you were felt. Your spirit brought peace, comfort, and respect. You gave the hardest handshakes, and would almost break all my coaches and teachers hands. You were so different, none like you, never will be anyone as great as you to ever walk this earth. God had his hand on you, and his whole heart within you. I’m so blessed to be able to call you daddy, I’m so blessed that God put me under your wing in this life. You took no bs from anyone, and would take a bullet for anybodys child. I didn’t think you were mortal. I believed that you would live forever. I believed you were a super hero and I looked up to you in every way. I used to look at you all the time like “wow, that’s my dad yo fr.” Everyone loved you and if they didn’t I’m almost certain that they did eventually. You taught so many of friends what it truly meant to be a man of God. A man who provided for his family. A man who got up at 3 am to work a 12 hour shift. Proceed to pick my siblings up at 3 after school and go to my 14 year old brothers games. You never missed a game of mine in all of my 23 years. Only unless I was adamant that you didn’t come because I felt better knowing you were home with the family and could watch me on TV instead of traveling across the country just to see me play. YOU didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to be murdered in broad day waiting for a refrigerator, you would take my little siblings to the fixer upper house all the time. You were minutes from leaving to go to watch lil bro play in his basketball ball game. You were minding your business when you were mistakenly identified a street over from your mother’s house and murdered. I was Onna phone with you. We were chilling, just talking about how my season this year was going to go. You were so proud of me. You were so proud of all of us. Ma loved you more than anything and everything in this world. High school sweethearts. I heard 20 shots on phone but I couldn’t believe that they were at you. I couldn’t believe it and even when I flew back that night I still couldn’t believe it. Nobody could, but dad you wouldn’t believe the amount of people whose hearts broke when they heard the news. I tried to be strong just like you would’ve demanded of me, but I couldn’t hold but so strong because when I saw the tears of all the people you impacted. The tears of our family, your co-workers (who started this go-fund me), all your beloved friends, people who only met you for a second, my friends who called you “uncle blue.” I can’t wait to write a book about you because there’s no way that I could write enough about the impact you made, you were a lion with a big mane like you always said, and I’m simba. You shook the whole city with this one dad. I still hope you going pop up and laugh at us and call us all “soft” for crying so much over you. However this nightmare is one I think we won’t wake up from for a while man. I know that you will forever live in everyone who you ever touched, I know that God better have really needed you up there. I know he will make this work to our good. I don’t know how. I don’t know how mom’s going to ever recover from your loss. Don’t you worry I got us. Imma flip that fucking stadium in Blacksburg in your name daddy. I promise you I will and I don’t lie so you know what it’s going be. I would like to formally apologize beforehand. I would love to see you in the stands at every game. I would love to know you driving ma and the littles down like you always do. I know that’s not a reality that your flesh may not be present. Your spirit will be there bigger than it ever was. I promise you I will carry the weight of the crown with my head as high as I can. I need you more than ever. Man, I don’t think u understand ma need you more than she ever will in this life. I got us. I got you I will never let you down and I will take care of this family. I need the 100,000 to see what I’m on this year every game. That’s why we took this step in the first place. I love you man. I thank God he gave you to this world for 43 years. I thank God that he gave you to me. I thank God that you lead me in this life. I will never say goodbye because we all going to see you soon. You never going get to see me get my Masters, you never going be able to walk lil sis down the isle. You never going to be able to spoon with ma. You never going to be able to finish your first fixer up project. You never going to be able to teach lil bro how to drive like how u did me man. You never going to be able to take ma on dates. You not going be here for birthdays. You not going be here for our games. Why? I can’t understand why? I can’t understand why you had to go this early? You took us out the hood. You paid all the bills. You were the example of everything a God breathed man was. You were His favorite. You had to go I guess, you were so strong there was no other way that you could go out. You were the strongest, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually you were firm and obedient. I could never fill your shoes, no financial amount could ever suffice for the loss that ma and the siblings will have to live with. I eventually got us. Just gimme a year I got us. Saying I love you isn’t enough, but just know I will forever miss the time we missed, even when we meet you in heaven. I would do anything to get a hug, hear your voice, or sit in your presence one more time.
James Edward Blue leaves behind a wife who works in the Baltimore City Police Department (age 44) , 3 kids, ages 23, 14, 9, a mother, a sister, and an entire family and community who will forever carry on your duties. I don’t know how we will get through this. I don’t want to think about it, but I have to as the man of the house now. I don’t want any financial support myself. Everything is for me mom, brother and sister to give her the time she needs to be able to stand on her own again. So that I can go back to school and know that although you will never be here or able to provide for them anymore. That I can have peace knowing that mom and the littles are at the minimum financially stable enough until I can at the minimum pick up the financial burden that your physical presence will not be able to provide. And that I will do my best to pass down everything that you taught, showed, and instilled with me. We going miss you forever. You were all of our best friends. I can wait to see you. We can’t wait to see you. And I can’t wait for you to watch us all continue out all of your wishes despite our loss of you. Forever living, forever loving our daddy.”
~Jadan Blue
