Smash Top Surgery
Donation protected
Hey, I’m Ash!
I came out as Non-Binary Trans-Masculine on 31st March 2016 (which, coincidentally, is Trans Day of Visibility!)
It has certainly been a journey since coming out – lots of self-exploration and discovery to work out what my gender identity means and looks like to me.
What is Non-Binary?
There is no right or wrong way to be Non-Binary. The standard definition of Non-Binary is that the person does not identify as being male or female; rather somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum. My gender identity skews somewhat towards the male side of the spectrum as I am Trans-Masculine, which means I have a lot of discomfort in my day-to-day life.
I experience gender dysphoria, which means extreme emotional unease as my body does not reflect my gender identity, every single day. This has exacerbated my depression and anxiety, meaning I constantly am struggling with my mental health. I also experience physical discomfort through binding my chest in an attempt to make it look flatter. This is extremely painful as it crushes ribs and organs and you cannot wear a binder for any longer than 8 hours a day or else your body would be permanently damaged.
For me, being Non-Binary Trans-Masculine looks like accessing Testosterone hormone treatment and receiving a double mastectomy (top surgery). This will help me feel so much more comfortable in my own skin – something that I have longed for my entire life.
I have been on the NHS waiting list for over 3 years, with an expected 2 years to go before my initial appointment. This means that I would not be looking at receiving until I am well into my 30’s (I am 26 now).
Therefore I am paying to go privately so I can access treatment in the next couple of years. I have already booked and paid for my first two appointments:
- I am seeing Dr Dundas on 5th November in London for a 90 minute psychiatric assessment. This is where I will be diagnosed with gender dysphoria and discuss moving forward with hormones. This appointment costs £250, excluding travel and accommodation.
- I am seeing Dr Coxon on 14th December in Brighton to check my bloods and (hopefully!) receive a prescription for Testosterone. This will either be in gel or injection form and I will have to take Testosterone for the rest of my life to ensure I transition medically. This appointment costs £250, excluding travel and accommodation.
However, top surgery is even more expensive. Including pre-op consultations, the surgery itself, revisions, travel and accommodation, it should cost in the region of £10,000. I have set up this page to help fund this treatment.
I know this is a huge sum of money, so I will be completing and hosting events and activities (e.g. fun run, quiz night, etc.) to help raise the funds. If I, by some miracle, manage to raise more than I need, I will donate any leftover money to Mermaids. This charity offers family and individual support for Gender-Diverse and Transgender children and young people.
Getting top surgery will honestly be life-changing. It will help ease my gender dysphoria and will be a huge step forward on the journey of coming home to myself, after years of living in a body I never felt comfortable in.
Thanks for taking the time to read and please help!
Ash
I came out as Non-Binary Trans-Masculine on 31st March 2016 (which, coincidentally, is Trans Day of Visibility!)
It has certainly been a journey since coming out – lots of self-exploration and discovery to work out what my gender identity means and looks like to me.
What is Non-Binary?
There is no right or wrong way to be Non-Binary. The standard definition of Non-Binary is that the person does not identify as being male or female; rather somewhere in the middle of the gender spectrum. My gender identity skews somewhat towards the male side of the spectrum as I am Trans-Masculine, which means I have a lot of discomfort in my day-to-day life.
I experience gender dysphoria, which means extreme emotional unease as my body does not reflect my gender identity, every single day. This has exacerbated my depression and anxiety, meaning I constantly am struggling with my mental health. I also experience physical discomfort through binding my chest in an attempt to make it look flatter. This is extremely painful as it crushes ribs and organs and you cannot wear a binder for any longer than 8 hours a day or else your body would be permanently damaged.
For me, being Non-Binary Trans-Masculine looks like accessing Testosterone hormone treatment and receiving a double mastectomy (top surgery). This will help me feel so much more comfortable in my own skin – something that I have longed for my entire life.
I have been on the NHS waiting list for over 3 years, with an expected 2 years to go before my initial appointment. This means that I would not be looking at receiving until I am well into my 30’s (I am 26 now).
Therefore I am paying to go privately so I can access treatment in the next couple of years. I have already booked and paid for my first two appointments:
- I am seeing Dr Dundas on 5th November in London for a 90 minute psychiatric assessment. This is where I will be diagnosed with gender dysphoria and discuss moving forward with hormones. This appointment costs £250, excluding travel and accommodation.
- I am seeing Dr Coxon on 14th December in Brighton to check my bloods and (hopefully!) receive a prescription for Testosterone. This will either be in gel or injection form and I will have to take Testosterone for the rest of my life to ensure I transition medically. This appointment costs £250, excluding travel and accommodation.
However, top surgery is even more expensive. Including pre-op consultations, the surgery itself, revisions, travel and accommodation, it should cost in the region of £10,000. I have set up this page to help fund this treatment.
I know this is a huge sum of money, so I will be completing and hosting events and activities (e.g. fun run, quiz night, etc.) to help raise the funds. If I, by some miracle, manage to raise more than I need, I will donate any leftover money to Mermaids. This charity offers family and individual support for Gender-Diverse and Transgender children and young people.
Getting top surgery will honestly be life-changing. It will help ease my gender dysphoria and will be a huge step forward on the journey of coming home to myself, after years of living in a body I never felt comfortable in.
Thanks for taking the time to read and please help!
Ash
Organizer
Ash Stander
Organizer
England
