Ryan Silk - Terminal Cancer Fund
Donation protected
Hello...my name is Ryan Silk.
After much consideration and wrestling with a sense of embarrassment, I have decided to put my pride aside and share the recent devastating terminal cancer diagnosis at the age of 38, in the hope of appealing to the generosity of anyone who could potentially help our cause. Being self-employed, a newlywed to my 32-year-old wife Danielle and father to my 12-year-old son Callum, this news is heart-breaking, but has been made even more stressful due to the discovery of negligence by our "financial advisor" which will mean that the mortgage cover I believed to be in place when I pass, will NOT be paid out. I am hoping for some help to ensure that whatever precious time I have left is spent making memories with my family and friends rather than worrying about money and my family’s future which has now has been placed in a somewhat perilous situation. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, your kind donations to assist financially and for raising awareness of bowel cancer in young people...
In 2018, I volunteered for a charity boxing match, ironically to raise money for Cancer Research! For several years prior to this, I had been experiencing stomach issues but had always dismissed this as ‘normal for me’, possible food intolerances, poor diet etc. During training and with a complete diet overhaul, the issues and pain I usually experienced in my bowel were intensified and I begrudgingly made an appointment with my GP. After months of going back and forth with numerous GP's, being fobbed off with various misdiagnoses including pleurisy, cracked ribs from boxing and IBS, I was told repeatedly that I was "too young for cancer". Eventually I was given a colonoscopy and as I lay there watching the screen, I remember thinking “that’s not good”. I was diagnosed with stage 3 Colorectal Cancer at just 35 years old.
Shortly after, in October 2018 I underwent bowel resection surgery to remove the single tumour from my colon; initially intended to be keyhole surgery, I suffered a bleed on the operating table and the surgeon had to resort to open surgery and a blood transfusion which kept me in hospital for 5 days. Close call! After some recovery at home, I then underwent a 3-month course of chemotherapy, including on Christmas eve, to mop up any stray cancer cells that may have been lurking. The oncology team were confident that I was disease free and so I was told to get on with my life. December 2018, I wasted no time in proposing to my now wife Danielle and we began planning the rest of our lives together.
Fast forward to October 2020 during the Covid pandemic and having recently been made redundant, a routine scan highlighted a single metastatic tumour growing in my right lung which led to a second operation to remove the offending mass and half of my lung. Not one to be held down, I set up my own business while recovering and was soon back to boxing training and re-arranging our wedding which had been postponed due to lock down. April 2021, with our wedding just months away, further scans showed another tumour had grown, this time in the left adrenal gland which also required removal through more surgery. Again, we were assured by doctors that they had caught this early and that there were no further signs of disease. At this point, 3 surgeries down and I'm missing half a colon, half a lung and one adrenal gland...I don't recommend this as a quick weight loss regime.
Almost immediately after the third surgery I began to experience unexplained, debilitating pain which again was dismissed by my GP and having only just had a clear scan in May, my oncology team were not concerned but agreed to bring forward my monitoring scan to give me peace of mind. Unfortunately, in July 2021, just 4 days after our wedding day, we were told the ultimate devastating news that my cancer was now aggressively, widespread throughout my body and that the disease was incurable. I was immediately placed under palliative care for pain management and offered palliative chemotherapy in an attempt to slow the disease to buy me as much time as possible. Everything that followed happened in quick succession; August brought about a serious bowel obstruction caused by a tumour, and I spent 3 weeks of what should have been my honeymoon in Bali, in hospital recovering before undergoing 10 sessions of radio therapy and 3 sessions of chemotherapy. My chemotherapy had barely started when I was hospitalised again with the current setback, this time a serious infection and internal stomach bleeding which is being treated with more palliative radiotherapy. It is during this current hospital admission that my oncologist revealed that the current chemotherapy isn't working, the tumours have not only grown but multiplied and my only options are to either withdraw from treatment altogether or to try an alternative chemotherapy with a 10% chance of success; a chance I have to take because some hope is better than no hope.
As I lay here in my hospital bed in Southend hospitals palliative unit contemplating my prognosis, I discovered that due to negligence some years ago by a "financial advisor", the mortgage cover that I believed to be in place to pay off our mortgage when I pass away will NOT be paid out for my wife. Both my wife and I are self-employed and Danielle had to give up her new business earlier this year to care for me. As you can imagine, this news has added untold stress to what is already an extremely upsetting time. We should be making plans to make the most of the limited time we have left together, making lasting memories with my son Callum, and not having to worry about money and the future, which we believed was taken care of. Knowing that I won't be around and leaving the burden on Danielle has left me even more devastated.
This is where I'm hoping that anyone who kindly takes some time to read this will make a donation. Any amount will be greatly appreciated! We are not ones to ask for charity usually and proud people. However, we do need any help that we can get! A total target of £10,000 is a drop in the ocean to the figure that we realistically require to cover what we lost via insurance and we don't expect to raise anywhere near the actual amount (now that would be a miracle!)...however, anything will be a bonus so that we can either enjoy some last memories or relieve the financial stress on my wife in some way, especially when I am no longer alive….something which is a constant worry and immense stress to me personally.
As a proud man and someone who has donated to events and charities numerous times, I am aware of how widespread these appeals can reach and how generous friends, family, colleagues, even total strangers or maybe on this occasion the odd "celebrity" can be haha.
As a final note, from a man who has experienced this cancer journey/battle, I would urge any other man not to ignore any personal health issues and to get anything checked. Not only that but keep pushing your doctor for investigation should you not be happy with their initial diagnosis. Afterall, I was diagnosed with nearly a dozen other issues before my final one. I know as men we don't like to face up to personal medical issues, especially of this nature. It can feel embarrassing and not "manly"... but something I have eventually learnt the hard way is that short term discomfort can prevent long term suffering. Don't be too proud or afraid to make that appointment, especially if you have loved ones.
Thank you for reading my story.
xxx
After much consideration and wrestling with a sense of embarrassment, I have decided to put my pride aside and share the recent devastating terminal cancer diagnosis at the age of 38, in the hope of appealing to the generosity of anyone who could potentially help our cause. Being self-employed, a newlywed to my 32-year-old wife Danielle and father to my 12-year-old son Callum, this news is heart-breaking, but has been made even more stressful due to the discovery of negligence by our "financial advisor" which will mean that the mortgage cover I believed to be in place when I pass, will NOT be paid out. I am hoping for some help to ensure that whatever precious time I have left is spent making memories with my family and friends rather than worrying about money and my family’s future which has now has been placed in a somewhat perilous situation. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, your kind donations to assist financially and for raising awareness of bowel cancer in young people...
In 2018, I volunteered for a charity boxing match, ironically to raise money for Cancer Research! For several years prior to this, I had been experiencing stomach issues but had always dismissed this as ‘normal for me’, possible food intolerances, poor diet etc. During training and with a complete diet overhaul, the issues and pain I usually experienced in my bowel were intensified and I begrudgingly made an appointment with my GP. After months of going back and forth with numerous GP's, being fobbed off with various misdiagnoses including pleurisy, cracked ribs from boxing and IBS, I was told repeatedly that I was "too young for cancer". Eventually I was given a colonoscopy and as I lay there watching the screen, I remember thinking “that’s not good”. I was diagnosed with stage 3 Colorectal Cancer at just 35 years old.
Shortly after, in October 2018 I underwent bowel resection surgery to remove the single tumour from my colon; initially intended to be keyhole surgery, I suffered a bleed on the operating table and the surgeon had to resort to open surgery and a blood transfusion which kept me in hospital for 5 days. Close call! After some recovery at home, I then underwent a 3-month course of chemotherapy, including on Christmas eve, to mop up any stray cancer cells that may have been lurking. The oncology team were confident that I was disease free and so I was told to get on with my life. December 2018, I wasted no time in proposing to my now wife Danielle and we began planning the rest of our lives together.
Fast forward to October 2020 during the Covid pandemic and having recently been made redundant, a routine scan highlighted a single metastatic tumour growing in my right lung which led to a second operation to remove the offending mass and half of my lung. Not one to be held down, I set up my own business while recovering and was soon back to boxing training and re-arranging our wedding which had been postponed due to lock down. April 2021, with our wedding just months away, further scans showed another tumour had grown, this time in the left adrenal gland which also required removal through more surgery. Again, we were assured by doctors that they had caught this early and that there were no further signs of disease. At this point, 3 surgeries down and I'm missing half a colon, half a lung and one adrenal gland...I don't recommend this as a quick weight loss regime.
Almost immediately after the third surgery I began to experience unexplained, debilitating pain which again was dismissed by my GP and having only just had a clear scan in May, my oncology team were not concerned but agreed to bring forward my monitoring scan to give me peace of mind. Unfortunately, in July 2021, just 4 days after our wedding day, we were told the ultimate devastating news that my cancer was now aggressively, widespread throughout my body and that the disease was incurable. I was immediately placed under palliative care for pain management and offered palliative chemotherapy in an attempt to slow the disease to buy me as much time as possible. Everything that followed happened in quick succession; August brought about a serious bowel obstruction caused by a tumour, and I spent 3 weeks of what should have been my honeymoon in Bali, in hospital recovering before undergoing 10 sessions of radio therapy and 3 sessions of chemotherapy. My chemotherapy had barely started when I was hospitalised again with the current setback, this time a serious infection and internal stomach bleeding which is being treated with more palliative radiotherapy. It is during this current hospital admission that my oncologist revealed that the current chemotherapy isn't working, the tumours have not only grown but multiplied and my only options are to either withdraw from treatment altogether or to try an alternative chemotherapy with a 10% chance of success; a chance I have to take because some hope is better than no hope.
As I lay here in my hospital bed in Southend hospitals palliative unit contemplating my prognosis, I discovered that due to negligence some years ago by a "financial advisor", the mortgage cover that I believed to be in place to pay off our mortgage when I pass away will NOT be paid out for my wife. Both my wife and I are self-employed and Danielle had to give up her new business earlier this year to care for me. As you can imagine, this news has added untold stress to what is already an extremely upsetting time. We should be making plans to make the most of the limited time we have left together, making lasting memories with my son Callum, and not having to worry about money and the future, which we believed was taken care of. Knowing that I won't be around and leaving the burden on Danielle has left me even more devastated.
This is where I'm hoping that anyone who kindly takes some time to read this will make a donation. Any amount will be greatly appreciated! We are not ones to ask for charity usually and proud people. However, we do need any help that we can get! A total target of £10,000 is a drop in the ocean to the figure that we realistically require to cover what we lost via insurance and we don't expect to raise anywhere near the actual amount (now that would be a miracle!)...however, anything will be a bonus so that we can either enjoy some last memories or relieve the financial stress on my wife in some way, especially when I am no longer alive….something which is a constant worry and immense stress to me personally.
As a proud man and someone who has donated to events and charities numerous times, I am aware of how widespread these appeals can reach and how generous friends, family, colleagues, even total strangers or maybe on this occasion the odd "celebrity" can be haha.
As a final note, from a man who has experienced this cancer journey/battle, I would urge any other man not to ignore any personal health issues and to get anything checked. Not only that but keep pushing your doctor for investigation should you not be happy with their initial diagnosis. Afterall, I was diagnosed with nearly a dozen other issues before my final one. I know as men we don't like to face up to personal medical issues, especially of this nature. It can feel embarrassing and not "manly"... but something I have eventually learnt the hard way is that short term discomfort can prevent long term suffering. Don't be too proud or afraid to make that appointment, especially if you have loved ones.
Thank you for reading my story.
xxx
Organizer
Ryan Silk
Organizer
England
