A Story of Faith
Donation protected
**All donations will go directly to consecutive Heart Surgeries, extended hospital stay, medicine, and travel expenses. We sincerely thank you for donating for our daughter**
OUR STORY
Ashley and I met when we were young. Our families had grown up together, and had developed a close relationship with each other, having cookouts, birthday parties and other functions together regularly. Ashley and I would see each other often at these events and would do what most kids do running around playing. Little did we know that our lives would be woven together for the rest of our lives. We dated for a year and a half in high school, me a senior and Ashley a sophomore, furthering a lifelong friendship that we never thought would lead to anything else. The summer after my senior year we decided that we would have to end our relationship due to college and Ashley having 2 more years of high school. I look back and think to myself how young and naive we were, literally living for the next moment, having no understanding of what was is store for us.
The next 8 years we had very little contact if any at all. I had dated a few people inside of this 8-year period, while Ashley was in a long-term relationship, that seemed to be heading towards marriage. Its funny how our plans are not always Gods plans, and what we think is our inevitable future may not be what God has for us. After 8 long years of no contact, I happened to log in to Facebook and saw that she was online and single, then proceeded to say hello. In a blink of an eye Ashley and I were closing in on a 2 ½ year relationship. It’s been more than 6 years since we lost our first baby at just 10” long and 1 tiny pound. We thought that would be the hardest thing the Lord would take us through. Yet, we’re back in the mires of a great valley, yet it’s different. This time we are both committed to the Lord while following Him in every detail. Whatever happens, while we are praying for God to heal our baby, we trust Him.
I remember that sunny afternoon Ashley called with tears of many emotions, she told me she was pregnant. The thought of being a first-time parent can bring even the strongest person to their knees, however we were ready for the journey. Our lives changed during this time, as Ashley became my wife. At 14 weeks we go in for our first ultrasound. I can still feel that emotion even as I write this, excitement, love, and fear. Leaving that ultrasound, I don’t think that we put the pictures down for days, calling everyone we knew, showing our handsome baby off with excitement.
One month passed, and we are in the same room, in which a few weeks prior had changed our lives. Not knowing, this visit would also change our lives, but in a diverse way. I remember the ultrasound technician going through her routine, quiet and intently looking at the monitor. She stood up and said the doctor would be in shortly to talk with us. The doctor came in and cut right to the chase, he said “Looking at the ultrasound I have confirmed that your baby is not going to make it”. In that moment, our joy, and excitement that we had felt seemed to vanish. Ashley and I just sat there at our following appointment in silence, not really knowing what to make of all this.
The doc came in wanting to share with us what he had seen in the ultrasound. My mind was racing with all these different scenarios of what he was about to say. I remember asking God to give us peace regardless of the reveal. I glanced over at Ashley, I could see in her eyes the pain, she was just as scared as I was. The doctor sat up in his seat, he said ”Your sons urethra tube has not formed, he drank all his amniotic fluid, which caused his bladder to swell, causing kidneys and bladder to shut down, as well as his lungs have not developed due to the bladder expanding into the lung cavity, with these issues, he will not survive”.
Romans 8:26amp “In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayers to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself knows our need and at the right time intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groaning too deep for words”.
I remember asking myself how to do we recover, how do we move on, is it even ok to move on? The ride home was silent, only these empty thoughts that wouldn’t go away. Ashley gave birth to our son Dillan James, January 21st, 2013 at 8:02 am, weighing in at a whopping 1 lb. & 10 Inches long, passing during birth. We left the hospital 8 hours later completely different then when we walked in. However, God’s grace is enough, His love is abundant, and His comfort is unmatched. We thought that God was done molding our lives, and He had seen us through.
A few months ago, we once again found out we were expecting. Knowing this was a high-risk pregnancy we started prenatal care early. During Ashley’s 12-week ultrasound the doctor advised a CVS test to check the Chromosomes of the baby. Two weeks later we got a call to come in and speak with the genetics counselor to go over those results. We are excited! For about 3 minutes. The news was not good: our baby girl had all the markers for both Trisomy 18 (Edward’s Syndrome) and Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome).
The genetic counselor told us that we are ONLY the 5th case documented and that most recent was in 1973. Having two severe genetic abnormalities is almost unheard of in medical history. She states that termination is the most common and logical option in these situations. That was the first of numerous times over several appointments we would be directed to termination. Our lives were once again changed forever. Yet, I knew, God was still in control and He still knew what He was doing. I also knew to be true that neither of us had been living life like we knew and truly trusted the Lord. At best, we were merely going through the motions. Here we are, facing another devastating crossroad in our lives and questioning God. So many times, we would cry, “Why God?”
What God had in store for us next would also change our lives forever. Ashley and I had some grueling discussions about what we should do with the baby, we laughed, cried, debated, and sat in silence hoping something would just magically come to us. Well it did….IT WAS JESUS! God got a hold of both of us and spoke to us in a way that we hadn’t heard in a very long time. We both rededicated our lives to Him and wholeheartedly told God that we will follow His lead, regardless of where He will take us. We informed the doctors that we would be keeping our baby, and that we would like to proceed through the process
We had ultrasounds at weeks 16, 20, 24, and 26. We knew the baby’s numerous defects would be visibly at these screenings, so we prayed and prepared best we could. Scan after scan, they could find only a heart defect with no other evidence of a chromosomal disorder. Still, the push to terminate our daughter continued. And our resolve to give her live grew stronger in voice.
At our 26 week appointment the doctor, who had been with us through several miscarriages and the loss of Dillion, completed the ultrasound, slid his chair back, looked at us and said “I really don’t understand, but I see no abnormalities on this ultrasound, except for what appears to be a slight heart defect.” He continued, “I expected to see some other abnormalities but honestly I don’t.” Praise God! The Great Physician was at work, and He had protected our daughter from being terminated. Next, a test was set for a fetal echocardiogram done. For 2 ½ hours the specialists looked at the baby’s heart via echocardiogram. Then, they told us the newest update: the baby would not make it because of the Trisomy 18, and even if she did survive there was no doctor in the country who would operate on her. Their answers never swayed from elective abortion.
Here we were fighting a battle for our growing, dancing, kicking, never still daughter to continue living, but no one was giving her the option of life. We both knew God was at work, and we knew we needed a team of doctors who would fight to allow her to live if she had life in her. We know she has a heart defect, and we know that her life could be very delicate including 3 heart surgeries early on. However, we heard our daughter’s strong heartbeat, we felt her kick and punch, she is alive, and GOD is working on her!
We began to share more publicly what we had kept mostly private, and we reached out to see if we could obtain a second opinion. So many were praying with us. It did not take long for God to bring a stranger into our lives who had a similar situation with their daughter; he got us in touch with their doctor at UVA Children’s Hospital. On July 5 we went to UVA and met the outstanding team of doctors and nurses the Lord had given us. They cared for us without knowing us.
God’s presence in our valley was evident. After hours of testing, this medical team assured us that they will do the heart surgery if our daughter is healthy enough, and they see no reason why the surgery would not be successful. The perinatal doctor repeated an ultrasound and reported he saw a few things that may indicate some issues, but there is no way to know definitively until she is born.
Ashley and I continue to pray that God will heal our daughter and use us for His glory as an example of His grace and love throughout this process. Our next appointment is August 5th where we will have another ultrasound and fetal echocardiogram. We will visit the NICU and L&D, and they’ll set the delivery date for our little girl! This process of transferring to UVA has been a huge blessing, but also has presented us with several different obstacles logistically and financially. Our daughter will be transferred after birth directly to the NICU for an undetermined period of time; we’ve been informed it could be as little at 2 weeks to as long as 6 months for which time we will need to find a place to stay closer to the hospital.
Unfortunately, we are without insurance, so we know the medical bills will be incredible, too. We do not qualify for Medicaid as we “are married” and come shortly above the “income” bracket. Our travel expenses are our priority, as they are most immediate. We both know that there will be tremendous hospital and surgery expenses once she is born, we are trusting God to meet our immediate and future needs, and we are asking for help in this way if you are able and the Lord allows. We set up a Go Fund Me page here on our site. Whether you can contribute financially or not, we ask that you pray for us and pray for our little girl.
Thank you all so very much. Ashley and I will continue to give updates throughout our entire journey…
OUR STORY
Ashley and I met when we were young. Our families had grown up together, and had developed a close relationship with each other, having cookouts, birthday parties and other functions together regularly. Ashley and I would see each other often at these events and would do what most kids do running around playing. Little did we know that our lives would be woven together for the rest of our lives. We dated for a year and a half in high school, me a senior and Ashley a sophomore, furthering a lifelong friendship that we never thought would lead to anything else. The summer after my senior year we decided that we would have to end our relationship due to college and Ashley having 2 more years of high school. I look back and think to myself how young and naive we were, literally living for the next moment, having no understanding of what was is store for us.
The next 8 years we had very little contact if any at all. I had dated a few people inside of this 8-year period, while Ashley was in a long-term relationship, that seemed to be heading towards marriage. Its funny how our plans are not always Gods plans, and what we think is our inevitable future may not be what God has for us. After 8 long years of no contact, I happened to log in to Facebook and saw that she was online and single, then proceeded to say hello. In a blink of an eye Ashley and I were closing in on a 2 ½ year relationship. It’s been more than 6 years since we lost our first baby at just 10” long and 1 tiny pound. We thought that would be the hardest thing the Lord would take us through. Yet, we’re back in the mires of a great valley, yet it’s different. This time we are both committed to the Lord while following Him in every detail. Whatever happens, while we are praying for God to heal our baby, we trust Him.
I remember that sunny afternoon Ashley called with tears of many emotions, she told me she was pregnant. The thought of being a first-time parent can bring even the strongest person to their knees, however we were ready for the journey. Our lives changed during this time, as Ashley became my wife. At 14 weeks we go in for our first ultrasound. I can still feel that emotion even as I write this, excitement, love, and fear. Leaving that ultrasound, I don’t think that we put the pictures down for days, calling everyone we knew, showing our handsome baby off with excitement.
One month passed, and we are in the same room, in which a few weeks prior had changed our lives. Not knowing, this visit would also change our lives, but in a diverse way. I remember the ultrasound technician going through her routine, quiet and intently looking at the monitor. She stood up and said the doctor would be in shortly to talk with us. The doctor came in and cut right to the chase, he said “Looking at the ultrasound I have confirmed that your baby is not going to make it”. In that moment, our joy, and excitement that we had felt seemed to vanish. Ashley and I just sat there at our following appointment in silence, not really knowing what to make of all this.
The doc came in wanting to share with us what he had seen in the ultrasound. My mind was racing with all these different scenarios of what he was about to say. I remember asking God to give us peace regardless of the reveal. I glanced over at Ashley, I could see in her eyes the pain, she was just as scared as I was. The doctor sat up in his seat, he said ”Your sons urethra tube has not formed, he drank all his amniotic fluid, which caused his bladder to swell, causing kidneys and bladder to shut down, as well as his lungs have not developed due to the bladder expanding into the lung cavity, with these issues, he will not survive”.
Romans 8:26amp “In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayers to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself knows our need and at the right time intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groaning too deep for words”.
I remember asking myself how to do we recover, how do we move on, is it even ok to move on? The ride home was silent, only these empty thoughts that wouldn’t go away. Ashley gave birth to our son Dillan James, January 21st, 2013 at 8:02 am, weighing in at a whopping 1 lb. & 10 Inches long, passing during birth. We left the hospital 8 hours later completely different then when we walked in. However, God’s grace is enough, His love is abundant, and His comfort is unmatched. We thought that God was done molding our lives, and He had seen us through.
A few months ago, we once again found out we were expecting. Knowing this was a high-risk pregnancy we started prenatal care early. During Ashley’s 12-week ultrasound the doctor advised a CVS test to check the Chromosomes of the baby. Two weeks later we got a call to come in and speak with the genetics counselor to go over those results. We are excited! For about 3 minutes. The news was not good: our baby girl had all the markers for both Trisomy 18 (Edward’s Syndrome) and Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome).
The genetic counselor told us that we are ONLY the 5th case documented and that most recent was in 1973. Having two severe genetic abnormalities is almost unheard of in medical history. She states that termination is the most common and logical option in these situations. That was the first of numerous times over several appointments we would be directed to termination. Our lives were once again changed forever. Yet, I knew, God was still in control and He still knew what He was doing. I also knew to be true that neither of us had been living life like we knew and truly trusted the Lord. At best, we were merely going through the motions. Here we are, facing another devastating crossroad in our lives and questioning God. So many times, we would cry, “Why God?”
What God had in store for us next would also change our lives forever. Ashley and I had some grueling discussions about what we should do with the baby, we laughed, cried, debated, and sat in silence hoping something would just magically come to us. Well it did….IT WAS JESUS! God got a hold of both of us and spoke to us in a way that we hadn’t heard in a very long time. We both rededicated our lives to Him and wholeheartedly told God that we will follow His lead, regardless of where He will take us. We informed the doctors that we would be keeping our baby, and that we would like to proceed through the process
We had ultrasounds at weeks 16, 20, 24, and 26. We knew the baby’s numerous defects would be visibly at these screenings, so we prayed and prepared best we could. Scan after scan, they could find only a heart defect with no other evidence of a chromosomal disorder. Still, the push to terminate our daughter continued. And our resolve to give her live grew stronger in voice.
At our 26 week appointment the doctor, who had been with us through several miscarriages and the loss of Dillion, completed the ultrasound, slid his chair back, looked at us and said “I really don’t understand, but I see no abnormalities on this ultrasound, except for what appears to be a slight heart defect.” He continued, “I expected to see some other abnormalities but honestly I don’t.” Praise God! The Great Physician was at work, and He had protected our daughter from being terminated. Next, a test was set for a fetal echocardiogram done. For 2 ½ hours the specialists looked at the baby’s heart via echocardiogram. Then, they told us the newest update: the baby would not make it because of the Trisomy 18, and even if she did survive there was no doctor in the country who would operate on her. Their answers never swayed from elective abortion.
Here we were fighting a battle for our growing, dancing, kicking, never still daughter to continue living, but no one was giving her the option of life. We both knew God was at work, and we knew we needed a team of doctors who would fight to allow her to live if she had life in her. We know she has a heart defect, and we know that her life could be very delicate including 3 heart surgeries early on. However, we heard our daughter’s strong heartbeat, we felt her kick and punch, she is alive, and GOD is working on her!
We began to share more publicly what we had kept mostly private, and we reached out to see if we could obtain a second opinion. So many were praying with us. It did not take long for God to bring a stranger into our lives who had a similar situation with their daughter; he got us in touch with their doctor at UVA Children’s Hospital. On July 5 we went to UVA and met the outstanding team of doctors and nurses the Lord had given us. They cared for us without knowing us.
God’s presence in our valley was evident. After hours of testing, this medical team assured us that they will do the heart surgery if our daughter is healthy enough, and they see no reason why the surgery would not be successful. The perinatal doctor repeated an ultrasound and reported he saw a few things that may indicate some issues, but there is no way to know definitively until she is born.
Ashley and I continue to pray that God will heal our daughter and use us for His glory as an example of His grace and love throughout this process. Our next appointment is August 5th where we will have another ultrasound and fetal echocardiogram. We will visit the NICU and L&D, and they’ll set the delivery date for our little girl! This process of transferring to UVA has been a huge blessing, but also has presented us with several different obstacles logistically and financially. Our daughter will be transferred after birth directly to the NICU for an undetermined period of time; we’ve been informed it could be as little at 2 weeks to as long as 6 months for which time we will need to find a place to stay closer to the hospital.
Unfortunately, we are without insurance, so we know the medical bills will be incredible, too. We do not qualify for Medicaid as we “are married” and come shortly above the “income” bracket. Our travel expenses are our priority, as they are most immediate. We both know that there will be tremendous hospital and surgery expenses once she is born, we are trusting God to meet our immediate and future needs, and we are asking for help in this way if you are able and the Lord allows. We set up a Go Fund Me page here on our site. Whether you can contribute financially or not, we ask that you pray for us and pray for our little girl.
Thank you all so very much. Ashley and I will continue to give updates throughout our entire journey…
Organizer
Matt Southworth
Organizer
Powhatan, VA