for herself. She is in trouble and needs some help. Please read the following message. The part she doesn't mention is that when she hurt her back she had actually been named Nurse of the year at Avista Hospital. She was well liked and appreciated by both her co-workers and her patients. Please HELP!
"At least $30,000? Daunting would be understatement.
I graduated with 2 bachelors degrees from a local Christian University on a full ride volleyball scholarship. I always knew I wanted to work as a servant of people since I was a small child. I grew up in a very chaotic- mentally Ill home. Anytime I experienced help/ love from others is sure felt good. It felt all-inclusive and safe and I wanted so desperately to be one of those good ones (even though on many occasions I was being told no one wanted me). This didn't deter me from trying my best to get to know everyone (school principal, teachers, coaches and students). And I could give you plenty of names to attest to the fact that I was indeed "different" than most both athletically and spiritually. Suffering of any kind tore me up and eventually led me to study Psychology, Education and eventually Nursing.
After graduating from CCU with my 2
bachelor degrees- I signed on with a Residential Treatment Facility in Idaho Springs, CO to help teach and mentor children who had been severely abused (one of the lowest paying jobs I have we've had, but I thoroughly enjoyed my job and those I worked with- ( I am still in contact with many I had the pleasure to work with). One day while doing a home check, I had to perform a one on one basket restraint on a young teenager due to aggression against another child.
During that restraint I was bitten (top 2 teeth broke through the skin on the back of my hand and snapped the tendon up into my elbow. I had it cleaned out - and it never healed right. This began my intimate relationship with a serious autonomic nervous system disorder.
I went on to study medicine and went to nursing school to get my
RN so I could keep helping others through my abilities. I have works on 24 hour observation units, oncology wards, medical units, surgical units, orthopedic/spine units, supervised a large mental health hospital and worked with savant children and those dying in hospice. Hopefully this gives you a good example of who I am. When I was not working, I was doing "community care rounds" helping out where I could/ however I could. Not to be seen, not to be thanked, but to fill my own cup- sometimes feeling selfish in doing so. That is my calling- to help serve others.
Well, 4 years ago, I was moving a patient from bed to bedside commode and she slipped. I
Took the brunt of her weight in a twisted position as she had a broken pelvis and got her safely to her chair. My back audibly popped and my
Right leg/ foot went numb. Since then, my nerve disorder spread systemically and is affecting my heart (blood pressure, heart rate), my
Labs, my nervous system, my muscles, my hair, sleep pattern (lack there of), etc. There is no cure for this disease and some days are easier than others.... I have been labeled "disabled" since this back injury and systemic autonomic disorder. You can imagine what I get monetarily on a monthly basis for disability (let's just say I barely get by with no "frills"). The saddest thing is not that I shop at thrift stores and have no vacations- but that I don't have the money to send my "just because care packages" and my weekly care rounds because I can't afford the miles on my very old car or the physical material needed to give out (medical supplies, water, groceries a whatever the need is at the time) and now, after today, more sad news.
My disease has been systemic for over 4 years and I have a blessed medical team that is doing their best to keep my blood pressure under 214/110, my pulse rate under 120 ( it gets up to the 200's), attempting to help control the headaches and the chronic pain, the now 13 surgeries to try and keep me "functioning". God bless them all. But... Today... I found out that I have severe periodontal disease due to the systemic dis autonomia . This has nothing to do with aesthetics. I've never had a nice smile . I never cared if my teeth were straight and white. I take care of my body the best I can. I am scheduled to have a deep gum line cleaning and laser treatment. My entire mouth is full of bacteria, my sinus cavity is full of bacteria, I had 2 teeth emergency extracted from major infection into the sinuses and orbital area which effected the eyesight in my left eye, required I&D of the sinuses, flips created and major antibiotics. The bacteria also crossed the blood brain barrier. NOT GOOD!! Now, after full evaluation today, I have to start with the deep cleaning in 2 weeks, the. Repeated time 4 until all quadrants are clean before "restoration" begins. I wish it were as simple as pulling out all teeth, IV antibiotics and then dentures. It not that simple.. It never is. I have lost bone, I have a misaligned jaw, I have over 30 dental caries, over 14 caps needed and bone grafts to build missing bone before looking into realigning the jaw and bridging the large gap due to the extraction of my molars. Again, it has been explained to me that there really is no choice. If I do nothing- I will end up with endocarditis ( much sooner than later)- and I may not be lucky enough to die of a massive MI- maybe I stroke and end up in a care home for the next 40 years unable to help anyone. I can't do that. I have promised too many people I love that I would not take my own life ( if it were only that simple).
So what's the facts? I don't have a choice but to go through with this treatment plan in hopes I can get back to helping others again. Problem- I thought I did everything right- went to school- started a retirement fund- watched my spending. Medical expenses have killed almost everything I have. My husband works for a local non-profit helping disabled kids and adults, so he makes just above minimum wage. We barely make it and am grateful for all the abilities we do have and for each other. But... I may have reached my limit today. I will cash out my $5000 retirement account to help cover the impending dental bills and will continue to babysit where I can and continue to volunteer to keep up my spirits. But... It will never be enough. I would really love to have hope again. I will be getting the estimate for the dental procedures in 2 weeks- but my guess is an astonishing $30,000 before the bridgework. I will be cashing out my $5000 retirement to get the most important things started.
I'm not sure why I am putting this out there except that I prayed and meditated about this as well as talked with a few close friends and I can only give you the facts. I am not even sure what I am asking for, except I am sure what I am not asking for -sympathy- I am still here, I can walk, I can breathe, I can read, I can hear, I can serve and I can love.
Anything that could be helpful would be greatly appreciated.
If you know me well enough, you know how hard this was for me to write. Prayers/good vibes/ candles, anything positive would be appreciated. I really want/need to have hope again! Thanks you, bless you and Namaste ahead of time.
I feel humbled that you read this, and a healthy serving of shame too (jut being honest). It wasn't supposed to be this way smile emoticon I've never been and will never be good at asking for help. Maybe this is my start...."
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