Help Myfanwy get gender affirming care (top surgery)

I first desired top surgery when I first heard of it at 13 (6 years ago). At that point in time, I hid my chest, binding almost constantly. At the time I watched transmedicalist youtubers who were trans themselves, and who made me have a relatively right wing view of my own transness ("you're either a man or a woman, you need to hate yourself to be valid, gendered brains" etc). It was a hell hole and at 14 I re-identified as a cis woman, finding it to be more freeing than my own view of masculinity at the time. At 16, somebody referred to me and my then partner as "fellas" and I felt gender euphoria. I'd claimed my body issues were only dysmorphia rather than gender dysphoria for a while, but it's the euphoria that made me realise that I was repressing something. Due to my experience of being openly trans at 13, it made me panic to explore it again. It brought up a lot of horrible memories of school and my own self-loathing. The past 3 years I have attempted openness and have an amazing group of supportive people around me, but I'm still scared. I recognise I dress very feminine (which I still will once I have this procedure I'm sure), but you only see me outside/in photos, not on my bad days. I love the way I dress and I find the main issue I have with my body is my chest. For the past year I've been walking around in t shirts and passing mirrors in my house, and when I'd pass them I'd lift my top, examine my breasts, then pull them up with the bottom of my top and examine how I'd look without them. I've realised this is my true form inside. I'm always scared to be open because of the absoluteness of labels. I'm genderqueer/fluid/bigender or whatever? I'm Myf haha, that's how I feel. I'm a woman and a man who's a girl who's a boy. I've been so scared to even start this process (even though I'm aware it's long) due to my fears of judgement and feeling invalid, but I deserve to be happy in my skin.