Mikey's walk to meet his father
Donation protected
Next month, I am wrapping up my career at 'Mind', my meditation teaching and everything else to set off by myself on a 1260 mile walk from London to the deep South of Spain. With nothing but a rucksack and a tent to kip in - I expect that the journey will take me up to three months.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why would I doing this?
About 9 months ago, I started the process of trying to find my father, who I haven’t seen in 17 years.
After some detective work, I connected with a long lost uncle (who had been living in Brazil) and through him managed to obtain an address in the South of Spain, where my father now lives.
The purpose of this journey is nothing other than a healing expedition: to meet him as a man, to try and heal some unresolved wounds from the past, and to hold out the hand of friendship.
I’ve been avoiding this for a long time, but I found he has a health condition, and I don't really want to wait any longer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why not just fly?
Choosing to walk is a statement: to myself, to my father, to my family, to you guys, to anyone who has wished to drop absolutely everything they’re doing to focus on sorting their shit out.
However, my relationship with my father is not the only thing that has been hanging over me without being properly acknolweged and dealt with.
Unless you are blind, you will know that I carry more body weight than the average person. I have been overweight since I was very little. A combination of childhood trauma's led me to develop an eating disorder, whereby I used food as a tool for coping other than nutrition. I have been able to release a lot of patterns that don't serve me over the years, but this one is by far the deepest.
I do worry about my health, and I’ve tried several times to lose the weight. However, it is wrapped up in so much emotional baggage from the past, and my life is so full of destractions and drama's which compete for my attention, that I find keeping up a sustained and disciplined effort feels hard and complicated. This is in part due to the fact that I subconsciously distract myself from dealing with my own issues by getting lost in other projects, often ones that are about 'doing good'. This has kept me locked in this state for so many years - I have tried and failed many times, and I'm tired of the cycle.
It's drastic, yes. But if you want something you have never had, you have to do something you have never done before. What started as a flippant comment during a sharing circle - "Maybe I'll just walk out the dooor and not stop until I've walked it off" - began to seem like exactly what is needed. Walking to spain requires a huge amount of exercise, 1230 miles, which will take me 375 hours of power walking, according to google maps. Particularly with all my equipment on my back - total clusterfuck. On top of that, I feel like by removing all of the things that compete for my attention e.g. the fun / interesting things, and then walking for three months in solitude, there won’t be any places to hide from myself. No distractions. This will give me the time and headspace to deep dive into this fundamental aspect of my shadow. I will finally be giving it my full attention - the attention it deserves.
I'm not expecting to have my questions answered, or to be fully healed in some miraculous way - but it's a bloody good place to start.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
How you can help me
Turns out that these sorts of expeditions are expensive. Especially if you don't want to completely fuck your back and feet. According to long-distance walkers that I have spoken to, you can't really compromise on top quality equipment. Also, I won't be earning any money during this period, and will still need to feed myself. This adds up to quite a bit.
I have the will - but I do not have the resources to do this alone - so I challenging the hang-ups I have around asking for help and am reaching out for the support of my community. Will you please help me?
Find below a list of Mikey Matania #supergrateful rewards for your kindness and support.
Whatever you can afford is so appreciated,
Reward's
£10 - A 30 second hug and a turbo nuzzle.
£20 - As above. AND I will send you a postcard from a random place along my journey- just send me your address in an email.
£50 - A bespoke Pineapple Ceremony, featuring Sanga Sanga.
£100 - I'll teach you the art of meditation by allocating you a place on my first 6 week meditation course on my return (worth £200)
£100+ A combination of any 2 of the above.
Any support will mean so much to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I remain yours 'till the chocolate chips.
Mikey
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why would I doing this?
About 9 months ago, I started the process of trying to find my father, who I haven’t seen in 17 years.
After some detective work, I connected with a long lost uncle (who had been living in Brazil) and through him managed to obtain an address in the South of Spain, where my father now lives.
The purpose of this journey is nothing other than a healing expedition: to meet him as a man, to try and heal some unresolved wounds from the past, and to hold out the hand of friendship.
I’ve been avoiding this for a long time, but I found he has a health condition, and I don't really want to wait any longer.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why not just fly?
Choosing to walk is a statement: to myself, to my father, to my family, to you guys, to anyone who has wished to drop absolutely everything they’re doing to focus on sorting their shit out.
However, my relationship with my father is not the only thing that has been hanging over me without being properly acknolweged and dealt with.
Unless you are blind, you will know that I carry more body weight than the average person. I have been overweight since I was very little. A combination of childhood trauma's led me to develop an eating disorder, whereby I used food as a tool for coping other than nutrition. I have been able to release a lot of patterns that don't serve me over the years, but this one is by far the deepest.
I do worry about my health, and I’ve tried several times to lose the weight. However, it is wrapped up in so much emotional baggage from the past, and my life is so full of destractions and drama's which compete for my attention, that I find keeping up a sustained and disciplined effort feels hard and complicated. This is in part due to the fact that I subconsciously distract myself from dealing with my own issues by getting lost in other projects, often ones that are about 'doing good'. This has kept me locked in this state for so many years - I have tried and failed many times, and I'm tired of the cycle.
It's drastic, yes. But if you want something you have never had, you have to do something you have never done before. What started as a flippant comment during a sharing circle - "Maybe I'll just walk out the dooor and not stop until I've walked it off" - began to seem like exactly what is needed. Walking to spain requires a huge amount of exercise, 1230 miles, which will take me 375 hours of power walking, according to google maps. Particularly with all my equipment on my back - total clusterfuck. On top of that, I feel like by removing all of the things that compete for my attention e.g. the fun / interesting things, and then walking for three months in solitude, there won’t be any places to hide from myself. No distractions. This will give me the time and headspace to deep dive into this fundamental aspect of my shadow. I will finally be giving it my full attention - the attention it deserves.
I'm not expecting to have my questions answered, or to be fully healed in some miraculous way - but it's a bloody good place to start.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
How you can help me
Turns out that these sorts of expeditions are expensive. Especially if you don't want to completely fuck your back and feet. According to long-distance walkers that I have spoken to, you can't really compromise on top quality equipment. Also, I won't be earning any money during this period, and will still need to feed myself. This adds up to quite a bit.
I have the will - but I do not have the resources to do this alone - so I challenging the hang-ups I have around asking for help and am reaching out for the support of my community. Will you please help me?
Find below a list of Mikey Matania #supergrateful rewards for your kindness and support.
Whatever you can afford is so appreciated,
Reward's
£10 - A 30 second hug and a turbo nuzzle.
£20 - As above. AND I will send you a postcard from a random place along my journey- just send me your address in an email.
£50 - A bespoke Pineapple Ceremony, featuring Sanga Sanga.
£100 - I'll teach you the art of meditation by allocating you a place on my first 6 week meditation course on my return (worth £200)
£100+ A combination of any 2 of the above.
Any support will mean so much to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I remain yours 'till the chocolate chips.
Mikey
Organizer
Mikey Matania
Organizer
