I decided long ago that if I couldn't make the physical transition that I so much wanted to make, I would focus on my spiritual transition. I have spent most of my life developing my spiritual practice as a Buddhist, and have been able to find peace with my body in the meantime.
Although I have found peace, there is still a disconnect between my body and the rest of me, my mind and soul.
I have remained single, not due to a lack of suitors, but a lack of suitors who can see that I'm a woman still in transition who is not interested in being anyone's fetish or exotic adventure.
I've survived by focusing on feeding my mind and my spirit, but the neglect that I have shown my body, because of my poor relationship with it has taken a toll on me in ways I have yet to be able to disclose so I will be taking the next few months leading up to surgery to talk about those feelings and more in my forthcoming book, "Making Miss Ross: a Memoir". Those who give to this fundraiser will have a chance to not only receive an advanced copy of the book, but also have their name in the acknowledgements and Thank you section of the book.
The disconnect that I'm speaking of is now manifested more and more in the form of "Dysphoria". As strong as I appear most of the time, I have days where I can't even get out of bed due to intense feelings of dysphoria. I recently had an experience filming a scene on the set of "Claws" for TNT where I was asked to do some nudity that left me traumatized in ways that heightened my dysphoria. What was once just a low humming background noise has now become so loud that I can't even think straight sometimes.
I have spent several years advocating for equity and equality for my trans brothers and sisters, as well as putting actual money into the pockets of TransTech members through hands-on learning and working opportunities. I have helped connect many to the resources they need to move forward in their lives all while not taking a salary as the founding CEO and working extra gigs all over this country to pay my own bills as well as remain TransTech's primary donor. Today, TransTech is thriving and growing more than ever, but it took a toll on my personal finances as well as my personal health to get there.
I feel now is the time for me to prioritize my health and my transition and I am in the process of trying to reserve my surgery date for sometime later this year!
The surgeon of my choice , Dr. Suporn in Thailand has also worked on at least 5 of my very close girlfriends who all give rave reviews on their new vaginas, their sex lives, and their overall happiness.
I was hoping to have the surgery sometime around my birthday in November! So there is only 1 gift I want and that is to finally LIVE my life in a body that reflects my mind, my heart and my soul.
TOP SURGEON in THAILAND - $17,000
TOTAL COST: $18,600
- Marisa Tovar
- Chris Tuttle
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