This is the first time I have tried something like this. It's humbling and I feel like a failure to even be attempting it. Many that know me know that I have/had four jobs and work 7 days a week - most of the time 14-16 hour days. All of this to provide for my family. I have 9 children (youngest is just about 2 and oldest 23) and a little over a year ago I underwent a quadruple heart bypass surgery which put us into a very bad situation with debt and paying for medicine that, even with insurance, is $120 / month. Due to that and other situations out of our control, we wound up having to use credit cards to pay for things and it just got out of control - but I wanted to accept that responsibility and just continue to work hard and do all I could to fulfill my respsonsibilities.
I have held my main job (that which paid insurance for our family and that which I have grown professionally and developed myself the most) for just shy of 20 years. I just found out, this week, that my position has been eliminated. I have been fighting depression, anxiety and scared as to what we will do. We have no family in this area so this might require relocating - I'm not sure. I am trying to raise funds via selling off quite a large portion of my possessions so that we can reduce medical bills and revolving debt so that we can be in a better position to where we might be able to just focus on paying for necessities (food, utilities, house payment,etc).
I won't lie, we're in debt and it's bad. With one bill alone being about 16k...I set the goal as $8k - and my expectation isn't high that this will work as we live in a difficult time and people don't have money to throw around. Many are in similar situations and that makes it even harder for me to even try to through a GoFundMe page up. I feel selfish - and it reinforces my thoughts of being a failure. Asking for help is always hard. For any of my friends that may have businesses - if you need anything 3d printed and I could do that to help provide you something in return....I can do that. If there is anything that I can do for anyone local - come by - mow your yard - help get you groceries if you're uncomfortable going out - I'll do it. I'll do whatever I can to help on my end.
Lastly - if this was just for me, I wouldn't ask at all. It's my fear of not being able to provide for my family - my kids - that scares me and makes me feel like a failure. I realize that I was just at a wrong place at a wrong time. I have nothing but love for the company in which i am leaving and my tenure there is full of growth, development, wonderful experiences and wonderful people. I was highly regarded at my job - and people have reached out to me with nothing but love. I was always that "go to " guy at work - the one people asked for help with their computer - or with Excel pivots or forumlas - I was that person that was always asked to spruce up a Powerpoint for executive review - or to take photos or video at a company function. I was highly regarded and I know that.......losing my job, however......sigh. I just feel like a failure.
Please consider helping if you can. My hope is to NEVER EVER be in this situation again (barring a heart attack) and to NEVER have to ask for help again. I'm sorry friends...I'm so sorry.
- Cynthia Landon
- Brandon Kiesling