IVF for the Jones Family

If you know us, you’ll know that we lost our daughter, Indy, to cancer after a three year long battle. Indy was the light of our lives, our reason for everything, and the most perfect baby we could have ever asked for. Losing her has been unbearable, and we know it will always be unbearable.

This was something we had a hard time deciding if we could share with the public or not, for so many reasons. Mainly the fear that people would think we are trying to replace Indy or that we love her less or have already moved on or something equally as terrible. In reality, the reason we’ve decided to pursue IVF is because of how much we love Indy. She made our lives beautiful and meaningful, and the idea that we might never feel like that again has been unbearable and awful. There will always be a void in our lives where she should be, and we know nothing will ever change that, but Adam and I desperately need something to hope for again— some promise that maybe things will never be “perfect” or completely full again, but that we can be happy again. Being Indy’s mom was the greatest joy and privilege of my life. I want so desperately to feel that again.

We both agreed that we couldn’t take the risk of having another baby with DICER1 syndrome, so we’ve decided to pursue our dream with the help of IVF, which can remove the risk of DICER1. However, we’ve discovered that our insurance absolutely will not cover any of the costs, because Adam has had a vasectomy (which he got at the time because we were told not to have any more children because of the risk, and because we never intended to have any more children after Indy anyway), and they have a blanket policy to deny coverage for IVF if there has been a sterilization process involved. We’ve tried to appeal it to no avail, so now our only option is to pay out of pocket, and they want the entire payment up front. The cost, when all is said and done, is roughly $20,000– an overwhelming amount to require in full.

We’re determined to pursue this chance at happiness again, but a number of other obstacles have sprung up along the way, and I’m not sure at this point that we could manage it on our own. So many people in our community have been so wonderful to us in the last three years, and done so much to help us raise money for cancer research, that I feel embarrassed and a little ashamed to ask for help again in this way, but we aren’t sure how else we can make this happen without help.

We appreciate so much more than we can say what everyone has already done for us, and I hope everyone knows that. I will never forget the kindness shown to us. I hate to ask again for that help, but please know how thankful we are for any further help that can be offered.