Liberate Paige from Crushing Student Debt

i want to share a story with y'all. a story about being in debt. it's my story, one i don't often talk about because i have been conditioned to believe that money problems are personal problems, problems i should feel ashamed about. and i do feel ashamed. even as i write this, i am nervous about how it will be received, especially with all the other things happening in the world. but i have to get it off my chest, and i have faith that my community will support me.

i worked my ass off when i was young to get into an elite college. i was accepted to stanford university against the odds - my high school was underfunded, there weren't many extracurriculars to choose from, and i got into a lot of trouble in those days, including suspension and run-ins with the police. but i maintained a 4.2 gpa, i was captain of my volleyball and basketball teams, even prom queen, and i graduated as valedictorian. i was over the moon when i got into stanford. it was my chance to start over.

stanford was amazing, and also terrifying. i went from being the top of my class to being surrounded by people at the tops of their classes, not to mention the immense wealth and privilege that so many students had enjoyed their entire lives. it was intimidating. but i was up to the challenge. stanford was where i was determined to belong.

then my financial aid was taken away. my father retired from the army my freshman year and got a civilian job with a slightly higher salary. i no longer qualified for tuition waivers. i didn't even qualify for most subsidized government loans. but my dad's salary wasn't enough to cover the $50K per year that it cost to attend stanford. i freaked out, because i didn't want to let go of my dream of being a stanford graduate. my mother, wanting to support my dream, signed me up for a bunch of private loans with high interest rates, in the hopes that she and my dad would help me pay them back after graduation.

but shit happens. long story short, my dad lost his job, my parents were sold a predatory loan and lost their house in the foreclosure crisis in 2011, and they divorced. neither of them can afford to help me repay my loans anymore.

while at stanford, i came out as queer, i got involved with student organizing, and i committed myself to social change. so after college, i didn't go work at a hedge fund or at some silicon valley tech company, like so many of my peers. i went into community organizing, first with a labor union, and then with an amazing organization doing anti-gentrification and immigrant rights work in Black and brown communities. and organizing is the work i have been doing and supporting for the last 10 years.

but my debt is still looming large. i owe over $260,000 in student loans. that's over a quarter of a million dollars, piled on me before i was even 22. my loan payments are $2,013 monthly. i make a decent salary, but money is still tight. before you try to offer solutions, know that i have consolidated, refinanced, and signed up for income-based repayment. i have the lowest possible monthly payment, and because i have refinanced private loans, which are not subject to federal loan repayment regulations, i don't qualify for student loan forgiveness or forbearance. i've been paying my loans throughout the pandemic. i've only paid back 5% of the total, and 60% of my payments are put towards the interest alone.

all of this makes me so sad and angry. the injustice of it makes me feel so enraged.

i try to remind myself that if my ancestors could survive slavery, if my grandparents could survive the jim crow south, if my mother could deal with all the micro aggressions being one of the only Black women in white spaces, then i know i can survive this, with my dignity intact. i have their example and their determination in my blood. this too, shall pass, i know. it doesn't make it easier, but i'm doing the best i can.

thanks for reading and witnessing. i know so many of us are struggling with our own stories, and i see you too. i support you too. thank you to all my comrades, friends, and family who make my struggle more bearable by being by my side. no matter where i end up, i know i won't get there alone.

#untilweareallfree