In 2008, Jake’s birth mother brought him to us, desperate for someone to adopt her 3-year old son. Although we were not looking for an adoption and had 5 other biological children (ages 2-16 at that time), we were anxious to help. Even though he’d never even been to our home before, the birth mom brought him to us with all his belongings and in his PJs in less than an hour after we told her that we would take Jake—neither of them shed a tear when they said goodbye.
Jake was an angel child the first week, so easy, so sweet, and a beautiful boy. We had no idea the challenges that we would soon face. The second week, Jake became very violent— trying to engage in sexual behaviors with and beating up on our 2-yr. old daughter, banging his own head on the wall, hitting himself, throwing himself down on the floor. This was our first experience with ‘self-harm’ and a neighbor who was a crisis worker quickly recognized the signs of ‘attachment disorder’. We had to make many changes in our family and our home to accommodate Jake’s needs. The DHS pushed us to speed up the adoption as quickly as possible, yet never offered to waive any fees or give us any counseling or any state services at all. We took out a home-equity line just to pay for the unplanned adoption that put our family on the path of chaos. We later learned to recognize these behaviors as signs of abuse.
The first year was incredibly difficult. We could hardly take Jake out in public for all the things that reminded him of his birth family and triggered his frequent tantrums. Jake’s volatility impacted our other children, too, with evidence of stress that led to eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and the cost of treatments for each of those. We were eventually able to settle into a somewhat modified routine to minimize the damage that Jake was causing, even to the physical structures of our home, in addition to the emotional stress of his special needs. We enrolled him in preschool, planned playdates to help him make friends, signed up for all kinds of sports and community programs for enrichment and fun.
When Jake was about 9 years old, we noticed several OCD behaviors creeping into Jake’s life which eventually became so debilitating that we sought private therapy and he began medication for anxiety. At age 11, he began getting in trouble frequently at school—sexual harassment, computer hacking, equipment theft, and threats to other kids. His behaviors at home also became riskier and he became a threat to each family member. We had to lock ourselves in our rooms at night as he began talking to his ‘imaginary friends’ about killing his family and himself.
That set our family on a journey we never expected, never wanted.
JAKE IS NOW 12 YEARS OLD. Hours, days, weeks, months of emergency room stays, crisis center calls, psychiatric unit hospitalizations, day-treatment and residential treatment facilities, back and forth looping from crisis to crisis—trying to find help for our son. Jake has been in and out of regular school, alternative school, out-of-school suspension and is currently in an isolated classroom with a 1:1 aide due to safety concerns around other students and staff. Jake was recently discharged from mental health services, just days before he threatened suicide ...again.
In May 2017, after a week of staying in the ER and a Crisis Center 'respite home' to keep Jake separated from other children, Jake was referred to every residential/day-treatment program in the state of Oregon and EVERY SINGLE ONE REJECTED JAKE. It’s been a year now since his first hospitalization and WE'RE BACK TO SQUARE ONE!
We need help getting Jake the treatment he needs. Over the past year, Jake has been diagnosed with the following diagnoses:
· Impulse control disorder
· Overtly sexualized behavior in childhood
· Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder
· Mixed obsessional thoughts and acts
· Post-traumatic stress disorder, chronic
· Disinhibited attachment disorder of childhood
· Reactive-attachment disorder
· Trichotillomania (hair pulling)
· Oppositional defiant disorder
· Conduct disorder, childhood-onset type
· Obsessive-compulsive behavior
· Bipolar disorder, unspecified
· Tourette’s disorder
· Depressive disorder
Our insurance provider is willing to cover a portion of approximately 30 days of residential-type treatment, but Jake’s issues are so deep and complex that 30 days will not be enough time to help him.
At this point, we have NO OTHER TREATMENT OPTIONS AVAILABLE TO US here in Oregon that specifically treat adolescent boys, ages 12-18, for risky and dangerous sexualized behaviors and the mental and behavior diagnoses that cause them.
Professionals who have meant well, but recognize the hopelessness of our situation, have gone so far as to suggest that we should consider voluntarily giving our son to the state (voluntary placement) or pressing criminal charges against him in order for him to get mental health services that he needs. We do not think a family should have to resort to such drastic measures just to get the help their child needs. Families should not be put in a position of dissolving the family relationship or criminalizing their child just to access what all children should rightfully have…appropriate mental health care--not just for the poor or independently wealthy, but for the working class in between.
We have spent the last nine (9) years building our family with Jake in it and it would break many hearts if Jake would have to leave our family just to get the treatment he needs, especially when treatment programs exist.
ONE OUT-OF-STATE TREATMENT FACILITY HAS ACCEPTED JAKE INTO THEIR PROGRAM, which specializes in the types of therapy that Jake needs, IF WE CAN PAY FOR IT. Of course, it is way beyond what our insurance or we can pay for on our own. We need YOUR help to raise $150,000 ($12,000 per month) to place Jake in a one-year private treatment program that can help Jake with all of his challenges, especially his sexualized behaviors.
We want Jake to grow up with the skills and abilities to meet the challenges he faces. We want to get him the help he needs today so he doesn’t act out sexually as an adult. We've found a place where Jake can get the help and treatment he needs at a qualified and licensed program that treats adolescent boys with research-based and clinically-appropriate treatments. We don’t want Jake to grow up to become a criminal, but that is the trajectory he is on if we can’t get him the treatment he needs now.
Please donate to help us save Jake and to save our family. Please help us protect women and children in the future by treating Jake now.
Offline Donations may also be sent to:
Jacob Peacock's Treatment Fund
c/o Julie Peacock
PO Box 402
Turner, OR 97392
Please make checks/money orders out to "Julie Peacock". THANK YOU!!
- David & Nancy Ward
- Haley & Brad Peacock
- Patricia Brockett
- Rachelle Porter
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