Surrogacy. My Bun. Her oven.
Donation protected
My name is Ashleigh. I'm 33 years old, single, independent, loving, responsible, and a cervical cancer survivor. I want nothing more than to be a mother, but I never expected my life to be on the path it currently is to achieve my dream. My journey started on Valentine’s Day in 2005, when a mass was found in my abdominal cavity. It was later determined to be a mucinous cystandmona and it was attached to my right ovary and fallopian tube. I had surgery on March 1, 2005 to remove the 17lb. mass along with my right ovary and fallopian tube. It was a hard thing to recover from but I was happy that I could still have children in the future.
Over the next 5 years, for multiple reasons, my weight ballooned to 275lbs. I knew that wouldn't be a healthy weight to carry a baby at and it would only cause me health issues in the future.
In January 2012, cysts were found developing in my left ovary. I had a laparoscopic surgery to remove the cysts and also preserve my fertility. From there, I had ultrasounds every 3-4 months to ensure that my ovary was healthy, producing eggs, and cyst free.
In July 2012, at my heaviest weight (290lbs.), I made the decision to take control of my life and vowed to become healthy. I began eating better, hired a personal trainer, and began working out multiple times per week. Over the next 3.5 years, I lost -103lbs. and went from a size 20 down to a size 6. It completely changed my entire life. I felt better than I ever had and I was confident that I could have a health pregnancy at that point. I was fully prepared to begin the journey as a single parent but hesitated to make that final decision to do so.
The worst day of my life was on February 19, 2015 when I got the dreaded phone call from my OBGYN requesting that I come in and talk with her about my test results. I cried and my heart sank as soon as I hung up the phone. I knew if she couldn't tell me the results over the phone, it wasn't good news. That day, I sat alone, in tears and terrified, in my OBGYN's office while she told me that pre-cancerous cells were found in my cervix and possibly my uterus. I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma in situ which is classified as the earliest form of cervical cancer. She explained to me that recommended treatment is usually a hysterectomy...this was the hardest blow I had ever felt. I knew immediately that that wasn't going to be my first choice of treatment. I understood that the cells were glandular and not squamous like most cervical cancers. It was a blessing that we caught this when we did, but I needed surgery to try and remove the cancerous cells. On March 2, 2015, I had my first surgery. Originally, they thought they removed the cancerous cells from my cervix and they didn't think it had spread to my uterus, but additional findings by the University of Michigan Cancer Center pathologists showed otherwise. I felt like a ticking time bomb at that point and my stress and anxiety level was off the charts. I felt like it was only a matter of time before I would be told I needed chemotherapy and radiation if I didn't address this soon. I was referred to the Sparrow Cancer Center to see a Gynecologic Oncologist. Since my first surgery was unsuccessful in removing the cancerous cells, a second surgery was required which took place September 11, 2015. Unfortunately, that surgery wasn't successful in removing the cancerous cells either and a third surgery wasn't a possibility due to the invasiveness of the first 2 surgeries. I was referred to another Gynecologic Oncologist at the University of Michigan. After exams and MRI's, my doctor discussed with me the need for a hysterectomy. I found out that not only was it highly likely that I had cancerous cells in my uterus, but due to having 2 surgeries in 6 months, the trauma to my uterus and scarring that had taken place, my uterus was basically non-functional and it was unlikely that I would be about to conceive without a lot of medical assistance and I would have an extremely high chance of miscarriage.
My doctor said that he could leave my left ovary to preserve what fertility I had left and to prevent me from being thrown into medical menopause. What he meant by preserving what fertility I had left was that leaving my left ovary would allow me the possibility to have a biological child through surrogacy in the future. It was the most devastating news I have ever had to process.
On January 22, 2016, I decided to put an end to my daily fear and cancer battle and agreed to have a hysterectomy and on Thursday, January 28, 2016, at 33 years old, I had a modified radical hysterectomy. This was surgery #3 in 10 months. My margins were clear from the hysterectomy but I will still need to be closely monitored by my OBGYN for the next 20 years.
I have an amazing support system, however, the stress now surrounds a multitude of things including finding a surrogate, the financial cost of infertility procedures and IVF, and the serious lack of insurance coverage. Most insurance companies do not cover infertility treatment or medications and some will not cover prenatal care/delivery for the gestational surrogate even if the surrogate has her own insurance. The legal aspects are very tricky as well because Michigan is not a “surrogate friendly state” which means that it is illegal to compensate a surrogate outside of medical reimbursement and that surrogacy can only be done in Michigan if the surrogate is doing it out of compassion and kindness. Some counties even require a biological parent to actual go through the adoption process and have a private home study completed in order to adopt their biological child from the surrogate/birth mother. I believe that this is a process that seriously needs to be looked at by the State of Michigan. I was recently informed of the 2016 Senate Bill 811: Permit Surrogate Mother Contracts. I will be researching this bill much more and praying that Michigan changes its stance on surrogacy.
I hope that with my faith in God, support from my friends and family, and any help I can get, my dream of becoming a mother will come true.
I can’t express my thanks enough to every single person who reads this and supports me as well as how much I appreciate any and all donations that have been provided through my GodFundMe campaign. I seriously love you all and there are no words to explain what it took for me to set this up and how this will one day impact my life. I will forever be reminded of the support and donations provided by each and every one of you everytime I look at my future child. They truly will be a miracle.
It truly takes a village to raise...and in some cases like mine, to conceive...a child. If it's 1 parent, or 2, or 3, or 4...nothing else matters as long as there is unconditional love and support.
Over the next 5 years, for multiple reasons, my weight ballooned to 275lbs. I knew that wouldn't be a healthy weight to carry a baby at and it would only cause me health issues in the future.
In January 2012, cysts were found developing in my left ovary. I had a laparoscopic surgery to remove the cysts and also preserve my fertility. From there, I had ultrasounds every 3-4 months to ensure that my ovary was healthy, producing eggs, and cyst free.
In July 2012, at my heaviest weight (290lbs.), I made the decision to take control of my life and vowed to become healthy. I began eating better, hired a personal trainer, and began working out multiple times per week. Over the next 3.5 years, I lost -103lbs. and went from a size 20 down to a size 6. It completely changed my entire life. I felt better than I ever had and I was confident that I could have a health pregnancy at that point. I was fully prepared to begin the journey as a single parent but hesitated to make that final decision to do so.
The worst day of my life was on February 19, 2015 when I got the dreaded phone call from my OBGYN requesting that I come in and talk with her about my test results. I cried and my heart sank as soon as I hung up the phone. I knew if she couldn't tell me the results over the phone, it wasn't good news. That day, I sat alone, in tears and terrified, in my OBGYN's office while she told me that pre-cancerous cells were found in my cervix and possibly my uterus. I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma in situ which is classified as the earliest form of cervical cancer. She explained to me that recommended treatment is usually a hysterectomy...this was the hardest blow I had ever felt. I knew immediately that that wasn't going to be my first choice of treatment. I understood that the cells were glandular and not squamous like most cervical cancers. It was a blessing that we caught this when we did, but I needed surgery to try and remove the cancerous cells. On March 2, 2015, I had my first surgery. Originally, they thought they removed the cancerous cells from my cervix and they didn't think it had spread to my uterus, but additional findings by the University of Michigan Cancer Center pathologists showed otherwise. I felt like a ticking time bomb at that point and my stress and anxiety level was off the charts. I felt like it was only a matter of time before I would be told I needed chemotherapy and radiation if I didn't address this soon. I was referred to the Sparrow Cancer Center to see a Gynecologic Oncologist. Since my first surgery was unsuccessful in removing the cancerous cells, a second surgery was required which took place September 11, 2015. Unfortunately, that surgery wasn't successful in removing the cancerous cells either and a third surgery wasn't a possibility due to the invasiveness of the first 2 surgeries. I was referred to another Gynecologic Oncologist at the University of Michigan. After exams and MRI's, my doctor discussed with me the need for a hysterectomy. I found out that not only was it highly likely that I had cancerous cells in my uterus, but due to having 2 surgeries in 6 months, the trauma to my uterus and scarring that had taken place, my uterus was basically non-functional and it was unlikely that I would be about to conceive without a lot of medical assistance and I would have an extremely high chance of miscarriage.
My doctor said that he could leave my left ovary to preserve what fertility I had left and to prevent me from being thrown into medical menopause. What he meant by preserving what fertility I had left was that leaving my left ovary would allow me the possibility to have a biological child through surrogacy in the future. It was the most devastating news I have ever had to process.
On January 22, 2016, I decided to put an end to my daily fear and cancer battle and agreed to have a hysterectomy and on Thursday, January 28, 2016, at 33 years old, I had a modified radical hysterectomy. This was surgery #3 in 10 months. My margins were clear from the hysterectomy but I will still need to be closely monitored by my OBGYN for the next 20 years.
I have an amazing support system, however, the stress now surrounds a multitude of things including finding a surrogate, the financial cost of infertility procedures and IVF, and the serious lack of insurance coverage. Most insurance companies do not cover infertility treatment or medications and some will not cover prenatal care/delivery for the gestational surrogate even if the surrogate has her own insurance. The legal aspects are very tricky as well because Michigan is not a “surrogate friendly state” which means that it is illegal to compensate a surrogate outside of medical reimbursement and that surrogacy can only be done in Michigan if the surrogate is doing it out of compassion and kindness. Some counties even require a biological parent to actual go through the adoption process and have a private home study completed in order to adopt their biological child from the surrogate/birth mother. I believe that this is a process that seriously needs to be looked at by the State of Michigan. I was recently informed of the 2016 Senate Bill 811: Permit Surrogate Mother Contracts. I will be researching this bill much more and praying that Michigan changes its stance on surrogacy.
I hope that with my faith in God, support from my friends and family, and any help I can get, my dream of becoming a mother will come true.
I can’t express my thanks enough to every single person who reads this and supports me as well as how much I appreciate any and all donations that have been provided through my GodFundMe campaign. I seriously love you all and there are no words to explain what it took for me to set this up and how this will one day impact my life. I will forever be reminded of the support and donations provided by each and every one of you everytime I look at my future child. They truly will be a miracle.
It truly takes a village to raise...and in some cases like mine, to conceive...a child. If it's 1 parent, or 2, or 3, or 4...nothing else matters as long as there is unconditional love and support.
Organizer
Ashleigh Sunderlin
Organizer
Lansing, MI
