Help us save our mums life
Donation protected
We would like to start off by asking people to refrain from messaging/calling our mum with regards to her illness as she is struggling to mentally cope, she is too scared to speak to the doctors & hear any updates, it would be deeply appreciated if you were to respect her wishes, however you are all more than welcome to message Odette or Rhys for any updates direct through this page or via Facebook, thankyou.
The reason as to why this page has been created is on behalf of our beautiful mum, It all started with Christmas 2014 our mum was experiencing a bloated stomach, it was something that she ignored as she thought it was nothing to worry about, days went past her belly grew & grew, she was given a course of antibiotics, these didn't work, her belly continued to grow, which lead to pain & discomfort, she decided to go the her GP who told her it was just her age and it was nothin to worry about, within her self she knew deep down this wasn't the case & something was wrong, she took her self down to a&e who told her it was IBS, they gave her IBS tablets... she knew she didnt have IBS, she stopped taking the medication & decided to go back to a&e due to the pain and discomfort becoming unbearable, back to a&e she went! This time, they finally took blood & did a urine sample & wanted to keep her in over night to do more tests, late that afternoon my mum was laying In a bed, myself my brother & my partner was sitting around her, wondering what he results could come back as, I then was thinking of the worst & came out with "imagine they said it was something crazy like cancer" everyone laughed it off & said "no don't be silly" 15 minutes later a nurse came to he bed to let us know that they have decided to move her to another ward for the night, A few hours later a doctor came to my mums bed, and asked if she would like to talk in front of her family or if she would prefer to be taken to a quiet room, it was the longest 15 minutes of our lives, it was clearly something important other wise why would they have taken her into a separate room? Finally the doctor came back out, and called the rest of the family to come into the room, the doctor led us in, he opened the door we turned the corner, and there was our mum sitting stiff upright in a chair with tears streaming down her face, & her hands on her lap, she then came out with "They think I have cancer"... my heart sunk, I felt sick, my heart was pounding so fast against my chest, she stood up and one by one we was hugging her crying hysterically into each others shoulders, the doctor was sat in he's chair staring at the floor, he then stood up and said he'll give us a few minutes, December 31st 2014 8:00pm my mum was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer, we spent New Year's Eve count down huddled together in a private room drinking orange squash trying to lighten the mood of a living nightmare.
A week later her biopsy results had come back, they confirmed she had cancer, I flew from the house to the hospital, her curtain was drawn around her bed, finding my way through the curtains she was laid up on the bed with her partner next to her, I buried my face in her lap crying uncontrollably, begging her to be transferred to The Royals Marsden hospital in London, my mum had calmed down slightly at this point, she tried to lighten the mood but in a flustered state she said "your going to have a bald mummy" as you can imagine this didn't help and put things in perspective, it made it all seem more real, she decided to stay at Southend hospital as her partner told her he knew some of the top surgeons, the hospital gave her a 6 month course of Chemotherapy to help shrink the cancer in her ovaries, to prevent having to eliminate any extra organs close by, she attempted to have a cold cap (a hat connected by a thick tube to a box that produces fluid that plummets to -40 degrees, it helps cancer patents keep some/most of there hair) she couldn't handle the pain & went without the cold cap, within the first week of having her first session of Chemo her hair started to matte, the second week her hair was falling out in clumps, she would wake up in the morning with clumps of hair laying on her pillow, our mum is so strong, the only obvious give away that she was sick was that she had no hair, other then that no one would ever know! This is something that makes me so overly proud of her, she was still carrying on with her daily life, I look up to her for this, it makes me realise that if my mum can live her daily life tackling cancer then I know I can handle anything too. During these 6 months we decided to take her to spiritual healing, as we've heard good things about it, we also went & got her necklace blessed by the priest at church... a day prior to the hospital giving her a full hysterectomy after completing her 6 month course of chemo, she had a scan... the doctors told her that the cancer is still quite big (they described the size using both hands) the day came for the big op, the surgeons cut her open... but there was no cancer?! They completed the full hysterectomy regardless & she was cancer free! the hospital would check my mums cancer blood count (ca125) each month, a healthy ca125 is 32 or below, 4-6 months later all of a sudden my mums ca125 has risen to 200... the big C was back, but this time in the fatty tissue surrounding her stomach, they decided to give her more chemotherapy, another 6 month course, this time around she attempted to tackle the cold cap once more, she discovered that the first 15 minutes is the worst, once your over he first 15 minutes with the cold cap on it's not so bad, her lips would go blue & her hands were ice cold, thankfully god was on our side and the cancer went!
Now that the cancer had thankfully gone, the hospital informed my mum that IF she was to get cancer again, they can offer her this new type of chemotherapy that they have just released, & it's proven to be realy effective, the only catch is she has to be cancer free for 6 months, & they can't check her ca125 (cancer levels in the blood) during these 6 months, she either had this option or she could go for plan B, where they keep check of her ca125 every month, if the numbers rise then they'll give her the normal chemotherapy that she had been having, they explained that the normal chemotherapy might not continue to work as her body/cancerous cells would remember this strain of chemo & would fail to work... 4 months went by and she started getting extremely bad abdominal pain, like a sharp hot knife running through her over & over again, she would hang on to the closest table while bending over clutching onto her stomach, she was in denial & too scared to get checked, another month went by after continuous nagging & begging for her to get checked, she thankfully informed the hospital, they checked her ca125, this had risen to 600, they gave her another course of chemotherapy, during this time, her breathing was rapidly deteriorating, we could hear bubbled water when she would breathe with her mouth open (almost like someone blew air through a straw into a drink) she had a X-ray, we discovered that the reason behind her bad breathing was due to the fact that she was only surviving on one lung, the right lung had collapsed, she had pulmonary edema (fluid in between the walls of her lung) the hospital decided to drain her right lung, this would remove the weight of the fluid which meant her lung would then inflate & she could breathe again, the hospital requested for my mum to attend Southend hospital to have this done, she had to sign a waiver as there can be complications, (while the fluid is being drained the bottle/bag the fluid is being drained into must not be lifted above the heart, as the fluid will travel back in and kill her) they also explained that while draining her lung, this must be done in stages, if they turn the tap on and drain all the fluid in one go, the body will go into shock, her lung will inflate too quickly and she will have a heart attack) the nurse first Injected my mums lung with a numbing agent, my mum said that is was so painful it felt like electric shock wrapping around her body, she was kicking the wall waiting for this pain to subside, the drain was fitted, and some fluid was removed, the nurse left my mum with a trainee while she went to go and see to another patient, the trainee then also left, unbeknown the tap hasn't been turned off, our beautiful mum said that she felt this deep pain running along the middle of her chest, getting worse & worse & worse, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't reach the panic button, she couldn't shout for help, the pain was getting worse, she thought she was going to die, she managed to get up and pulled the curtains open from around her bed, she was begging for help, the other patients just sat and looked, mean while the pain was getting worse & worse, someone pulled there panic button, nurses were shouting for help, my mums vision was going, all she remembers was 5 blurry figure's come running to her bed panicking around her, they turned the tap off & gave her intravenous morphine & two paracetamols, checked her blood pressure, and attached a ECG, once my mum had finally calmed down, she slept until our aunt came to the hospital, our mum kept this news from us until we came to visit her after at the hospital after work, a big complaint was put in as she shouldn't have been left alone. Meanwhile our mums course of chemotherapy had come to an end, but the cancer was still there... months went by the fluid kept returning, her lung kept collapsing, the hospital then decided to give our mum a permanent drain in her right lung as her lung had now pocketed from being pierced & drained so many times, ( a pocketed lung makes complications with regards to future draining as there is pockets of fluid to attempt to drain) the hospital organised for a district nurse to do home visits to drain her lung every other day... Friday 13th Oct 2017 the nurse came to drain our mums lung, prior to draining 150ml as instructed off of her lung, the nurse gave our mum her routinely blood pressure check, her heart rate was 150 bpm, the nurse refused to drain her lung and called an ambulance, the ambulance rushed her to hospital as she was close to having a heart attack, the hospital then drained 500ml off of her right lung, they had given her a X-ray to discover she now had fluid building up in her left lung too, they put her on oxygen and placed a oxygen machine in her house because her body wasn't producing enough oxygen itself, they also placed another permanent drain but this time in her left lung, the hospital had decided to teach our mums partner to drain her lung himself from home as this meant however much that would need to be drained, could be drained, during her stay she had a doctor visit her bed while she was alone, the doctor drew the curtains, my mum was begging the doctor not to give her any information as she doesn't want to know (she was scared) she explained that there's notes on the system saying her partner is the one who is given the information, the doctor continued to ignore my mums wishes & informed my mum that her cancer is now terminal, she has been given weeks/months left to live, the cancer has spread to her right breast (two lumps have been found) the doctor then walked off while leaving my mum alone hysterically crying, struggling to breathe while connected to the oxygen off of the wall, she came back with a cup of tea, a packet of bisects, smiled and walked off, another complaint has been made towards Southend hospital.
A few weeks later (Friday 27th Oct 17) another ambulance had to be called again, they rushed her to hospital with sirens & lights due to almost having another heart attack as her sats were so dangerously high, they took her oxygen tubes off of her and gave her a oxygen mask a doctor came around her bed once again, drew the curtains, my mums heart rate went from 90 to 132, her eyes filled with tears, she was begging the doctor not to tell her anything, the doctor hesitated, & said "I just want to know if you want to be resuscitated" my mum stared at her feet, tears running down her cheeks, I asked to know what was going on, the doctor lead myself, my partner & brother into the waiting room, closed the door and sat us down, he informed us that not only does my beautiful mum have abdominal cancer, she has two lumps in her right breast, cancerous fluid filling her lungs, but she also has cancer in her lymphatic system, the hospital is refusing to give her anymore treatment as it won't do anything, he said that her heart is going to stop from the pressure of all the fluid in her lungs, the reason as to why they want to speak to my mum is to find out if she wants to be resuscitated WHEN her heart stops, they said that IF they manage to revive her (which they hardly ever manage to) she'll be in pain due to her ribs being broken, he said that she would end up in a coma as her brain would have been starved of oxygen, her heart would eventually stop again, weather its in minutes or days, he said in he's opinion "what's the point".
My strong, courageous, beautiful mum is refusing to give up the fight, she wants to be here for her family, and she wants to one day have grandkids, she still to this day does not know that she could have a heart attack, or that the hospital is refusing to give her anymore treatment.
our main focus is to keep on top of her lung draining to prevent her lungs putting pressure onto her heart, & transfer her to a private hospital, the only added hurdle we have to overcome is the funds, we have some money for this but no where near enough, our mum is the kind of person that feels others pain & would do anything & everyone for anyone, she's always bubbly, smiling & laughing, she has done so much for her kids, she's stood by us through thick & thin, our one wish is to return the favour and give her as much as we possibly can, we want her to live a long, strong, happy, healthy & cancer free life, helping her live is the least we can do, but at the stage that she is in, it's impossible for us to do this alone, we're scared to go to sleep because we don't know what we're going to wake up to, we wake up in the night wondering why we've woke up, paranoid if something's happened to her, praying over & over again, we won't stop until she's cured, we see that there's no other option, we're spending every single spare minute with her because we don't know what's around the corner, but at the same time we have to stay positive, because positivity gives off positive vibes, we're going all out to do everything we possibly can, we would donate our organs, our lungs if only it was possible, we just need your help to fulfil our dreams in curing our mum as this is our last hope
The reason as to why this page has been created is on behalf of our beautiful mum, It all started with Christmas 2014 our mum was experiencing a bloated stomach, it was something that she ignored as she thought it was nothing to worry about, days went past her belly grew & grew, she was given a course of antibiotics, these didn't work, her belly continued to grow, which lead to pain & discomfort, she decided to go the her GP who told her it was just her age and it was nothin to worry about, within her self she knew deep down this wasn't the case & something was wrong, she took her self down to a&e who told her it was IBS, they gave her IBS tablets... she knew she didnt have IBS, she stopped taking the medication & decided to go back to a&e due to the pain and discomfort becoming unbearable, back to a&e she went! This time, they finally took blood & did a urine sample & wanted to keep her in over night to do more tests, late that afternoon my mum was laying In a bed, myself my brother & my partner was sitting around her, wondering what he results could come back as, I then was thinking of the worst & came out with "imagine they said it was something crazy like cancer" everyone laughed it off & said "no don't be silly" 15 minutes later a nurse came to he bed to let us know that they have decided to move her to another ward for the night, A few hours later a doctor came to my mums bed, and asked if she would like to talk in front of her family or if she would prefer to be taken to a quiet room, it was the longest 15 minutes of our lives, it was clearly something important other wise why would they have taken her into a separate room? Finally the doctor came back out, and called the rest of the family to come into the room, the doctor led us in, he opened the door we turned the corner, and there was our mum sitting stiff upright in a chair with tears streaming down her face, & her hands on her lap, she then came out with "They think I have cancer"... my heart sunk, I felt sick, my heart was pounding so fast against my chest, she stood up and one by one we was hugging her crying hysterically into each others shoulders, the doctor was sat in he's chair staring at the floor, he then stood up and said he'll give us a few minutes, December 31st 2014 8:00pm my mum was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer, we spent New Year's Eve count down huddled together in a private room drinking orange squash trying to lighten the mood of a living nightmare.
A week later her biopsy results had come back, they confirmed she had cancer, I flew from the house to the hospital, her curtain was drawn around her bed, finding my way through the curtains she was laid up on the bed with her partner next to her, I buried my face in her lap crying uncontrollably, begging her to be transferred to The Royals Marsden hospital in London, my mum had calmed down slightly at this point, she tried to lighten the mood but in a flustered state she said "your going to have a bald mummy" as you can imagine this didn't help and put things in perspective, it made it all seem more real, she decided to stay at Southend hospital as her partner told her he knew some of the top surgeons, the hospital gave her a 6 month course of Chemotherapy to help shrink the cancer in her ovaries, to prevent having to eliminate any extra organs close by, she attempted to have a cold cap (a hat connected by a thick tube to a box that produces fluid that plummets to -40 degrees, it helps cancer patents keep some/most of there hair) she couldn't handle the pain & went without the cold cap, within the first week of having her first session of Chemo her hair started to matte, the second week her hair was falling out in clumps, she would wake up in the morning with clumps of hair laying on her pillow, our mum is so strong, the only obvious give away that she was sick was that she had no hair, other then that no one would ever know! This is something that makes me so overly proud of her, she was still carrying on with her daily life, I look up to her for this, it makes me realise that if my mum can live her daily life tackling cancer then I know I can handle anything too. During these 6 months we decided to take her to spiritual healing, as we've heard good things about it, we also went & got her necklace blessed by the priest at church... a day prior to the hospital giving her a full hysterectomy after completing her 6 month course of chemo, she had a scan... the doctors told her that the cancer is still quite big (they described the size using both hands) the day came for the big op, the surgeons cut her open... but there was no cancer?! They completed the full hysterectomy regardless & she was cancer free! the hospital would check my mums cancer blood count (ca125) each month, a healthy ca125 is 32 or below, 4-6 months later all of a sudden my mums ca125 has risen to 200... the big C was back, but this time in the fatty tissue surrounding her stomach, they decided to give her more chemotherapy, another 6 month course, this time around she attempted to tackle the cold cap once more, she discovered that the first 15 minutes is the worst, once your over he first 15 minutes with the cold cap on it's not so bad, her lips would go blue & her hands were ice cold, thankfully god was on our side and the cancer went!
Now that the cancer had thankfully gone, the hospital informed my mum that IF she was to get cancer again, they can offer her this new type of chemotherapy that they have just released, & it's proven to be realy effective, the only catch is she has to be cancer free for 6 months, & they can't check her ca125 (cancer levels in the blood) during these 6 months, she either had this option or she could go for plan B, where they keep check of her ca125 every month, if the numbers rise then they'll give her the normal chemotherapy that she had been having, they explained that the normal chemotherapy might not continue to work as her body/cancerous cells would remember this strain of chemo & would fail to work... 4 months went by and she started getting extremely bad abdominal pain, like a sharp hot knife running through her over & over again, she would hang on to the closest table while bending over clutching onto her stomach, she was in denial & too scared to get checked, another month went by after continuous nagging & begging for her to get checked, she thankfully informed the hospital, they checked her ca125, this had risen to 600, they gave her another course of chemotherapy, during this time, her breathing was rapidly deteriorating, we could hear bubbled water when she would breathe with her mouth open (almost like someone blew air through a straw into a drink) she had a X-ray, we discovered that the reason behind her bad breathing was due to the fact that she was only surviving on one lung, the right lung had collapsed, she had pulmonary edema (fluid in between the walls of her lung) the hospital decided to drain her right lung, this would remove the weight of the fluid which meant her lung would then inflate & she could breathe again, the hospital requested for my mum to attend Southend hospital to have this done, she had to sign a waiver as there can be complications, (while the fluid is being drained the bottle/bag the fluid is being drained into must not be lifted above the heart, as the fluid will travel back in and kill her) they also explained that while draining her lung, this must be done in stages, if they turn the tap on and drain all the fluid in one go, the body will go into shock, her lung will inflate too quickly and she will have a heart attack) the nurse first Injected my mums lung with a numbing agent, my mum said that is was so painful it felt like electric shock wrapping around her body, she was kicking the wall waiting for this pain to subside, the drain was fitted, and some fluid was removed, the nurse left my mum with a trainee while she went to go and see to another patient, the trainee then also left, unbeknown the tap hasn't been turned off, our beautiful mum said that she felt this deep pain running along the middle of her chest, getting worse & worse & worse, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't reach the panic button, she couldn't shout for help, the pain was getting worse, she thought she was going to die, she managed to get up and pulled the curtains open from around her bed, she was begging for help, the other patients just sat and looked, mean while the pain was getting worse & worse, someone pulled there panic button, nurses were shouting for help, my mums vision was going, all she remembers was 5 blurry figure's come running to her bed panicking around her, they turned the tap off & gave her intravenous morphine & two paracetamols, checked her blood pressure, and attached a ECG, once my mum had finally calmed down, she slept until our aunt came to the hospital, our mum kept this news from us until we came to visit her after at the hospital after work, a big complaint was put in as she shouldn't have been left alone. Meanwhile our mums course of chemotherapy had come to an end, but the cancer was still there... months went by the fluid kept returning, her lung kept collapsing, the hospital then decided to give our mum a permanent drain in her right lung as her lung had now pocketed from being pierced & drained so many times, ( a pocketed lung makes complications with regards to future draining as there is pockets of fluid to attempt to drain) the hospital organised for a district nurse to do home visits to drain her lung every other day... Friday 13th Oct 2017 the nurse came to drain our mums lung, prior to draining 150ml as instructed off of her lung, the nurse gave our mum her routinely blood pressure check, her heart rate was 150 bpm, the nurse refused to drain her lung and called an ambulance, the ambulance rushed her to hospital as she was close to having a heart attack, the hospital then drained 500ml off of her right lung, they had given her a X-ray to discover she now had fluid building up in her left lung too, they put her on oxygen and placed a oxygen machine in her house because her body wasn't producing enough oxygen itself, they also placed another permanent drain but this time in her left lung, the hospital had decided to teach our mums partner to drain her lung himself from home as this meant however much that would need to be drained, could be drained, during her stay she had a doctor visit her bed while she was alone, the doctor drew the curtains, my mum was begging the doctor not to give her any information as she doesn't want to know (she was scared) she explained that there's notes on the system saying her partner is the one who is given the information, the doctor continued to ignore my mums wishes & informed my mum that her cancer is now terminal, she has been given weeks/months left to live, the cancer has spread to her right breast (two lumps have been found) the doctor then walked off while leaving my mum alone hysterically crying, struggling to breathe while connected to the oxygen off of the wall, she came back with a cup of tea, a packet of bisects, smiled and walked off, another complaint has been made towards Southend hospital.
A few weeks later (Friday 27th Oct 17) another ambulance had to be called again, they rushed her to hospital with sirens & lights due to almost having another heart attack as her sats were so dangerously high, they took her oxygen tubes off of her and gave her a oxygen mask a doctor came around her bed once again, drew the curtains, my mums heart rate went from 90 to 132, her eyes filled with tears, she was begging the doctor not to tell her anything, the doctor hesitated, & said "I just want to know if you want to be resuscitated" my mum stared at her feet, tears running down her cheeks, I asked to know what was going on, the doctor lead myself, my partner & brother into the waiting room, closed the door and sat us down, he informed us that not only does my beautiful mum have abdominal cancer, she has two lumps in her right breast, cancerous fluid filling her lungs, but she also has cancer in her lymphatic system, the hospital is refusing to give her anymore treatment as it won't do anything, he said that her heart is going to stop from the pressure of all the fluid in her lungs, the reason as to why they want to speak to my mum is to find out if she wants to be resuscitated WHEN her heart stops, they said that IF they manage to revive her (which they hardly ever manage to) she'll be in pain due to her ribs being broken, he said that she would end up in a coma as her brain would have been starved of oxygen, her heart would eventually stop again, weather its in minutes or days, he said in he's opinion "what's the point".
My strong, courageous, beautiful mum is refusing to give up the fight, she wants to be here for her family, and she wants to one day have grandkids, she still to this day does not know that she could have a heart attack, or that the hospital is refusing to give her anymore treatment.
our main focus is to keep on top of her lung draining to prevent her lungs putting pressure onto her heart, & transfer her to a private hospital, the only added hurdle we have to overcome is the funds, we have some money for this but no where near enough, our mum is the kind of person that feels others pain & would do anything & everyone for anyone, she's always bubbly, smiling & laughing, she has done so much for her kids, she's stood by us through thick & thin, our one wish is to return the favour and give her as much as we possibly can, we want her to live a long, strong, happy, healthy & cancer free life, helping her live is the least we can do, but at the stage that she is in, it's impossible for us to do this alone, we're scared to go to sleep because we don't know what we're going to wake up to, we wake up in the night wondering why we've woke up, paranoid if something's happened to her, praying over & over again, we won't stop until she's cured, we see that there's no other option, we're spending every single spare minute with her because we don't know what's around the corner, but at the same time we have to stay positive, because positivity gives off positive vibes, we're going all out to do everything we possibly can, we would donate our organs, our lungs if only it was possible, we just need your help to fulfil our dreams in curing our mum as this is our last hope
Organizer
Odette Cavill
Organizer
England
