Help rexymeteorite survive post-COVID syndrome

Here's the story of my adventure with Post-Covid syndrome as blogged on dailykos.com

Diary 1:

Nowhere else really to turn with this. I have been suffering with a mysterious digestive ailment nearly my entire life. My mom distinctly remembers me not being able to keep down really any type of formula, she said she tried nearly all the formula substitutes. Growing up, I thought that I was just filled with anxiety or crazy or something, my family didn’t have health insurance and this was in the 90s pre ACA so our health care plan was if youre dying you go to the emergency room. I grew up thinking that I had a horrible phobia of throwing up and nausea. Recently, I got my anxiety, GAD, and panic disorder under control with the help of counseling and antidepressants, so for the first time in my life I can actually listen to my body without the cloud of anxiety disrupting me.

About a year ago I realized that my “phobia” really stems from an ailment. Last September, right after moving, I held in a relatively violent sneeze and it cause so much pain I went to the doctor. Originally I was diagnosed with a strained rib, but little did I know it would set off something I now know of as a “flare”. These have happened all my life, on and off, but I had no idea what they were or how to describe them. But slowly, after this stupid sneeze, my life got turned upside down.

It started off with “rib pain” then migrated to nausea and abdominal pain, not really generalized to a specific area. Then gastrointestinal upset (interpret that how you will). Around December I had an appointment with my PCP and he gave me a stool test and referred me to a Gastro specialist. I was quickly diagnosed with GERD, and given a date for an endoscopy. For some reason, I was not scheduled for a colonoscopy at the same time as this appointment, which really ended up costing me precious time. My endoscopy showed that I have damaged from GERD (I believe referred to as barretts esophagus) and a hiatal hernia. I was prescribed pantoprozole which really helped with acid production but really does nothing at all for the “reflux” part of the equation, which means I wake up with vomit in my throat and/or lungs 3 times a week.

The oversight of the gastro in not scheduling me for a colonoscopy at the same time as my endoscopy really cost time. I had another appointment with her in end of March/beginning of April this year. I told her everything that was going on and she scheduled me for a MRI. The MRI showed “diffuse bowel wall thickening possibly due to underdistention or sequela to chronic colitis” which, in my non-medical layperson’s mind means “either his colon was thick due to dehydration or he has ulcerative colitis”. Another stool test also showed that I have an exocrine pancreatic insufficiency and I was prescribed what I think is a PERT (good lord that shit was like 2300 dollars for a 3 month supply, thank god for insurance). From my webmd surfing during abdominal cramp spikes could be another indicator of UC. Thankfully, I have a colonoscopy on Aug 10, which will determine whether or not this is UC or I am just crazy or what.

In June I got the job of my dreams as an office worker in a locked psychiatric hospital. I love the job and the people. But, I have been pretty hunkered down from COVID over the past few years and June was my first month consistently going into public (I had two internships, but one was all virtual one year and the other was twice a week in office, but I had my own office). Long story short, I popped on a temp check going into work and then popped positive for COVID in early July. Didn’t really have any symptoms at all besides a fever that first day. Toward the end of my quarantine period, I started having severe belly cramping and other horrid digestive issues I wont detail here but I am not a stranger to. I knew this was yet another flare up (and just as I had started coming out of one). So I have been off of work now for almost two weeks, having only gotten this job 2 months ago. I am so scared I am going to lose my job. I was so excited to finally be working again, to finally be financially stable and this shit happens, putting that all in jeopardy. I am like, fully at a loss. I am not sure if FMLA covers me, I am not sure what the state of Oregon (I am public HC worker) is going to do if I am not covered by FMLA or OFLA. I don’t want to keep suffering like this, honestly.

Venting helps, counting my blessing helps, giving myself grace helps. But sometimes I feel so down, like half a man who cant even get up and walk 1200 feet to a bus stop and drag his happy ass to work. I know that is toxic masculinity talking, but I do truly feel broke down sometimes, and all I have left is to ramble on kos to people who have never met me face to face. I know this isn’t the place for this (I probably could of went to r/chronicillness over on reddit) but I feel like I have some friends here and I could really use some sort of support right now. Idgaf about monetary, I just need people to tell me I am gonna be okay and that I am not half a person for not being able to work.

Lord I sound pathetic but I am so stressed and in pain right now, I have nowhere else to turn. By the way, did you know getting a counselor at KP can take months and months and months. Yeah, neither did I.

update 1: got a call this morning that my trial service with the state had been terminated due to absence I did everything right, stayed in contact with everyone, even got a “guarantee” from my boss that no hospital would fire someone because they are sick

after my fantastic phone call with whatever dry ass they hired to fire me, I called my boss and told her she lied to me and she was like “attendance issues are attendance issues”

what a wonderful way to end someone livelihood

Diary 2:

Last week I wrote a diary about a mystery ailment that I have had for weeks following COVID. I don’t even know where to begin, but I ended up getting fired from Oregon State Hospital the day after I wrote that diary. Two days after that diary, I had an appointment with my doctor who suggested that what I have been suffering from was indeed not a stomach ailment, but long COVID (post-COVID syndrome). I asked her how that could be possible, I felt fine for at least ten days before becoming extremely exhausted, having black diarrhea, being out of breath, having chest pains and heart palpitations. She said that is common for post-COVID and some people do not feel any symptoms with the initial disease but then start feeling crappy weeks later like I did.

So my doctors put me through a battery of rule out and differential diagnosis tests, most of which came back normal. There is evidence that I broke two of my ribs at some point, most likely due to coughing. I don’t feel any rib pain and I don’t remember feeling any sharp pain there, besides about a year ago and that should have healed by now. But there is evidence of two of my ribs having healing fractures.

I have to start physical therapy soon to try to build back some endurance. My doc is switching around my anxiety and panic disorder meds because those have started to make a come back in my life in a big way. He also prescribed a sleeping pill for insomnia which has been happening since I got COVID.

I guess I am most mad about my job. It was my first face-to-face, in real life job since the pandemic started. I get COVID, I feel better and come back, miss 4 days and I am fired. Everyone’s like “What about the union” well, I was in my probation period so there was absolutely nothing SEIU could do. Since then, I have tried reaching out to employment lawyers but not a one will take the case, because I don’t really have a case. They were clearly within their right to fire me. I was just hoping, I guess, that the Oregon state government, and Oregon State Hospital might have a bit more grace seeing as 1) they are absolutely dying for people and 2) they are a hospital, and I am a sick person. But no, now I owe them 600 dollars because I was “overpaid”. Come and get it. Look me in the fucking eyeballs and ask for that 600 dollars.

Ugh I am so frustrated. I have no idea what job I can even do. I can barely concentrate on filling out applications. Hell, I can barely concentrate on video games and those are second nature to me. I have no idea what I am gonna do for money. I have to contribute something to the household. My wife, god love her, is taking this all on herself and I just sit at home like a bump on a log not contributing anything. I feel guilty as hell for it too.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

And finally, the diary asking for financial help:

I have put off writing this diary for as long as I could, its been about a month since I got fired from my job because I am suffering from post-COVID syndrome, and finally our finances have hit a brick wall. Luckily, my wife can pay most of our bills with her paycheck, which is an absolute blessing because we still have our car, and a roof over our heads. But, because of an unexpected debt, I woke up this morning and our bank account was negative. Luckily, I had a little money and transferred it, but it leaves us with 23 dollars for the rest of the month. We still have groceries and gas to worry about, as well as our cell phone bill and internet bill, both of which my wife needs to work. So I am left to turn to dailykos for assistance. We don’t qualify, like at all, for government aid, unfortunately. And our finances had not allotted for me losing my job and getting so ill. This is our fault, and I feel so guilty about even asking anyone for help, let alone everyone here. There are so many more people who are much more deserving of help than I am. I am willing to admit that this was poor planning, failing to save, and failing to see myself as anything but immortal. I got my vaccine and my booster, I wore masks, I thought I was protected. Unfortunately, that turned out not to be the case. We should have saved for an eventuality like this, but any extras we get really go to, like, living our lives. We are paycheck to paycheck. And its coming back to bite me.

I am only asking because my wife works extremely hard, and because of my illness I am not able to work. I am, fortunately, starting physical therapy soon, but its hard for me to carry groceries or walk more than 1000 feet without getting winded, let alone work a full day. Regardless of my circumstances, I know there have been many people asking for help recently, and I tried my best to not ask because there are so many people in my situation at best, in much worse situations at worse, unfortunately my finances have pushed me to a point where I must turn to you all, hat in hand. I would absolutely understand if someone were to look at this diary and click away, again, this situation is my own responsibility and nobody elses. I just have nowhere else to turn, my parents make far less than us, and my wife’s mom is caring for her dad who has dementia. We don’t really have any credit cards, the ones we do have are maxed out. We can’t even get a payday loan, we did that early and have absolutely no means of paying it back (which was, admittedly, stupid and desperate). We’re really screwed financially. If I had literally anywhere else to turn I would. And I apologize for even having to ask. But if you can help, it would be very, very much appreciated.

Here is my wife’s venmo — @Elizabeth-Brown-25029

I don’t really have another means of getting the money to us, my wife doesn’t do paypal and I don’t even have a venmo since I have never really needed one. Again, if you can help, deeply deeply appreciated. If you click away, totally don’t blame you.

Thanks.

If you can help, thank you so, so much.

Adam Brown/rexymeteorite