Help Mel raise IVF costs

This time last year I decided that it was too late, in the absence of a partner, to have children. As I was 42, no longer accepted on the NHS for IVF and the prospect of going it alone was not one I relished. I also felt strongly that a child must be born of love and didn’t see the sperm-bank as fulfilling that.

So I let it go, grieved, and resolved to pour all my mother-energy into friends, family, people and communities I work with. Almost as soon as I’d determined that, I met an old school friend, in a post-covid reunion, around a fire in a field, who said I was grieving something that wasn’t lost – and that he would help me have a baby.

Jamie and I have been trying to conceive since then, whilst falling in love and planning our lives around each other.

In May and June this year we tried assisted fertility treatments – which failed. After many tests and advice, IVF seems the only possible route: (I am lucky to still have eggs and some functional follicles) but there is a shrinking time frame. I’m told I have good chances of success given my age and that my uterus is ‘pukka’. But the window is closing as my egg reserve is depleting. I’m advised that IVF needs to happen soon to have any hope of working so I’m aiming to raise enough money by October to go through one to two rounds in a clinic in Panjim, the capital of Goa, India.

The cost of each round is 2500 GBP. This explains the minimum target set here – this is still less than half the cost in the UK. If I can raise enough for two rounds obviously my chances increase.

At present, my income doesn’t allow me to pay these costs. The bubbling arts programme I established in India through-and-post-Covid (www.movingparts.art) is in its start-up phase, and other work supporting the rights of Rohingya refugees does not yet provide a stable income. Jamie has this year embarked on a career change – his first novel nearly complete – but this is not yet yielding the income required to support IVF costs, in the time-frame. We are both scrambling to raise the funds we can - Jamie is installed in a factory and I'm spending all my time recruiting students for courses I'm running.

We spent any savings we had on the assisted fertility, tests and advice so far, and basically really need help to meet fees for this, the final option available to us.

Given the time frame, very lovely friends encouraged me to do this fundraiser. I didn’t have the courage, or even inclination to do such a thing, so I’m very grateful to George and Joe for championing this effort and giving me the confidence and support to set it up.

There are cheaper options in India, but this clinic has the best reputation and has the technology to support egg-hatching and test abnormality before the embryo is implanted.

The next few months represent the last chance for me to conceive a child of my own and whilst we are not closed to other options and would adopt, I still have a deep wish for this to work.

By contributing, you’re helping me realise what’s become the strongest desire of my life so far – to give life and love to a little one – and if we’re not successful, you will have helped me see through this overwhelming process to it's conclusion. In which case, I will be able to throw open other doors widely and willingly, knowing I did all I could to make conceiving my own child a reality.

If you'd like more information on the clinic, the fertility doctor, the medication and procedures to be used, please let me know.

With a big hopeful heart, thank you for supporting me, us.

Mel & Jamie xx