Help me get back on feet with my education

Hi, I'm Sameh and I'm from Syria 26 years old

I would like to openly give you a brief overview of how my life has been for the last few years.

In the first three years in Germany I achieved a lot. I attended the integration course then took several intensive German courses until in 2015 I have successfully completed the C1 proficiency level.

In addition, I finished the University preparatory year in 2015-2016 and graduated from Hamburg University to obtain a university entrance qualification. In September 2016 I started my studies of "Media Systems".

Shortly thereafter, I went through the most difficult phase of my life. I suffered from severe depression and social anxiety. These were partly related to my bad experience of fleeing Syria, which I had long repressed inside.

Fortunately, I took notice of the situation and didn't give up. Furthermore, I was ready to go to therapy, which helped a lot. I had outpatient, Group and individual therapy done. I also attended a day clinic for Behaviour Therapy twice.

Unfortunately, there were always "ups and downs" in between, which influenced my studying performance greatly.

For this reason, I was unable to provide proof of performance to extend my student loan agreement and unfortunately I lost the right to apply for the "BAföG" loan again.

I took a leave of absence in WS 18/19 and visited the day clinic for the first time for eight weeks. Then I resumed my studies and looked for a job. De-enrolling me was a nightmare for my self-worth, not to mention that my student status was the last thing I hung on to and meant everything to me at this stage in life. It was something I definitely wanted to uphold and not give up. I always had the hope that I would get better the next semester in order to start again. It was awful to experience the same pain several semesters in a row without breaking the vicious circle. Status-wise I was just enrolled however, I was unable to pursue any of my academic goals.

Despite my unstable psychological situation, as already mentioned, I found a job as a working student in System Administration at the beginning of 2019. It has always been utterly important for me to do the best I can, to stand on my own “financial feet” and not receive any social help or benefits.

My job is not that demanding and the tasks are simple however, In my job there is a certain structure and it is controlled, one aspect of that, which continued to push me forward, is presence at the workplace i.e (if I don't go to work today, there will be consequences!).

On the other hand, there was hardly any control at the HAW-University and everyone is responsible for themselves and their self-discipline, which was very difficult for me in this dark phase.

My intention was that I could integrate a bit of structure into my studies through the student job and regular therapy.

Unfortunately I lost years in my youth but I was sure that these difficult times will be over at some point!

My big positive turning point was in 08.2020 after I visited the day clinic. Since then, I've been fully motivated to keep improving my life. That's why I have sought the life coaching program and I finally left the dark side behind me.

Now I have made it my personal goal to reach out for other people, including immigrants, who suffered from similar circumstances or difficulties, to help them have a fighting chance in the future to be able to integrate into German society.

In this context, I have been volunteering for “Make It German e.V. “I'm very happy about that! In addition, this semester I took up another degree in "Human-Computer-Interaction ”, which suits me and my abilities much more.

I am absolutely thrilled. It is my dream study and includes everything that interests me (Psychology and IT) especially after all that I've been through!

At the same time, I continue with the life-coaching and I am quite happy and proud of my fresh start!

Now I want to fully invest all my time in my studies without having to work 3 days a week as a student trainee which now is my only source of financial support therefore I am unable to quit this job at the moment. Ideally speaking I'd rather get a mini-job on the weekends to free up valuable time to focus on my studies but in order to achieve this without risking my current source of income I need a temporary financial support to get me through this short and vital phase in my life.

It is my dream to get back on track on my academic path to finish what I've started once again and have the chance to make up for the years I've lost.

If you support me though this, I am sure you will not regret it. And I'll be grateful for it all my life!

As anyone would, I’m not quite content doing this but I believe that some people understand or relate to what I’m going through and would like to help me out, just like how I now have the same vision to help others when I have the power to do it.

Kind regards

Sameh Ziadeh