Help give Sarah-Liza the funeral she deserves

Hi, My name is Howard and this is very difficult to write. My wonderful fiancée, Sarah-Liza (Sez) Barrow, passed away last week, at the age of just 41. Whilst Sez had suffered from a number of health problems for most of her life, this came as a massive shock.

I will try to give you a picture of the Sez I loved, who wasn’t just special to me but touched the lives and saved the lives of so many others. I first met her on Facebook, 8 years ago. I had recently returned from 10 years living abroad and was caring for my elderly Dad, whilst also struggling with my own multiple health problems. I'd been through a lot of stress and was struggling with depression. A friend suggested I take a look at a new Facebook group, which had been set up by Sarah-Liza as a way of providing a private forum to share experiences and provide mutual support. I joined and eventually found myself helping to moderate the group and support the members. Over the next 6 years, we became friends online and got to know each other, particularly with a shared passion for all things Manchester City. Then, one Friday evening, out of the blue, I got a phone call from her, asking me to pick her up in Manchester, the next morning, and spend the day together. Within 3 months we were engaged!

That Facebook group is just one example of the selfless, caring nature of my wonderful Sarah-Liza. Despite multiple issues with her own mental and physical health, she always put the wellbeing of other people and animals above herself. I never knew her Mum, who was also taken far too young, but Sez clearly adored her and inherited her caring nature from her. It wasn't an easy upbringing. Sez was the youngest of 3 daughters, raised by a single mother, the oldest of whom was severely disabled and also died too young. After losing her Mum, Sez decided to train to be a nurse and went on to spend 14 years in the profession. She eventually left nursing, due to her own health problems, but continued to do all she could to care for others. She became a volunteer shift manager for a number of homeless shelters in Manchester, a role she loved, despite all the inevitable pressures it brought. She was always looking for ways to volunteer and help others, whether that be food banks or animal shelters or charities. It’s only now that I am truly discovering how many lives Sez has changed and helped, whether in nursing, helping the homeless or just being there to talk to those who were at their lowest ebb. The many messages I have received, in the last few days, really go to show what a very special person she was.

Sez had two big passions in life. Manchester City FC was of course a huge one and she adored attending matches as my "personal assistant" on our little wheelchair "balcony" in the southeast corner of the Etihad. I'm so glad that she saw City win the Treble, just a few days before she passed away, and was at the Etihad to see the trophy lift for the third Premier League win in a row. The biggest love of her life though was Fudge, our beautiful black cat. Sez brought him up from a tiny kitten and he was her baby. He's nearly 7 years old now and I am going to give him all the love and treats I can. I'm sure he can sense what has happened and has been staying close to me, whenever he can.

Sez was such a loving person. Our lovely home is full of hearts, pinned up on walls, doors, shelves, everywhere, many with little slogans attached. The shelves in my home-office are packed with greetings cards. There's the obvious birthday and Valentines but also lots of other random messages of love and affection that would arrive in the post, unexpectedly. The house is also adorned with cuddly toys, "just in case Fudge gets lonely and needs a cuddle!" Her love for all living furry creatures knew no bounds either. She used to have pet rats and absolutely adored them but Fudge wasn't quite so convinced by them. Every night, before we went to sleep, we had to watch a few YouTube videos of pandas or otters or malamutes or huskies, not to mention cats and rats too!

Sez was just 41 years old. Although her medical problems were bad, it seemed like they had been moving in the right direction, with better help and support than she had ever had before. Yet suddenly it all just fell apart. Apart from Fudge and me, Sez has also left behind her lovely sister, Maria, and her 93-year-old step-dad, Ken, who adored her. I am disabled and work from home but have no savings, whilst Maria and Ken have very little money either. We're all struggling to come to terms with what has happened.

Please help us to give her the send-off that she deserves and help us to raise enough money to do that. Sarah-Liza was my world. Despite all her own problems, our unconditional love for each other never diminished. I am totally and utterly devastated. Thank you for reading this and for any help or support you can give.