help a disabled trans dude survive

5/4/24 UPDATE: situation unchanged. i need to see a dentist asap bc of a broken molar and serious pain.

i need 1k to register my vehicle asap.

taxes charged us 2k for 2023. haven't been able to pay any of that, obviously.

my partner is disabled too and basically cannot safely work outside the home bc of it. covid would likely hospitalize her AT LEAST, if not outright kill her and ppl here don't take covid seriously at all. there are no safe jobs for her other than work from home, and her last one was literally taken by ai. she's currently looking for work. if she can find work, i think we'll be okay. but until then, this is an emergency survival fund.

i have applied for assistance and been denied mult times now. i cannot get disability. i cannot get even food stamps. my state gives me no help. my family disowned me for being trans. my only not-estranged family is also struggling. i'm working all hours i can, every second, to the point of falling asleep in my work room at my desk mult times this week.

i need help. i don't think i'll stop needing help for a while. i hate begging, but i don't think i have much other choice. thank you to all who read, share, or donate.

3/31/24 UPDATE: situation still unchanged. bills are continuous and all donations are going toward basic household funds, including rent, utilities, food, car payments, health insurance, tax payments, medical bills, etc. i am working!! i made over 1.7k last month from art sales alone, but it's simply not enough. with my disabilities, working this hard constantly is detrimental to my health.

my spouse is trying to find work, currently. we're both disabled and at high risk of covid complications. all this to say this isn't meant to be a forever fund... but right now, it's desperately needed.

thanks as always to any who help.

3/9/24 UPDATE: let me preface by saying i am incredibly grateful for the help i've received so far. y'all have allowed me to access care i've not been able to get for literal decades. i don't want to downplay that. but i am currently at the end of my rope.

this is now a survival fund. i am struggling to make ends meet and i desperately need help. i am the only person in the household currently able to bring in any kind of income, tho not for lack of trying. my partner is doing her best, but she is also disabled, and specifically at high risk of serious illness or death if she were to catch covid, even fully vaccinated. the region in which we live has fully abandoned masking, is extremely racist and transphobic, and has basically nothing in the way of public assistance. i have tried to apply for all manner of gov't help and been denied each time despite falling below the poverty line. the state in which i live hates poor ppl, and i have known that my entire life, having been homeless 4 times since childhood. as a result, i have extreme trauma related to poverty that i have never been able to escape. i am terrified all the time. i can't remember the last time i slept without waking up from panic dreams.

all funds raised are gone. they've come in in trickles over the course of almost 6 months, and 2.6k in half a year barely paid for my physical therapy and equipment. i have now postponed therapy in favor of physical therapy bc i cannot afford both despite having insurance (that i pay for out of pocket).

i had to trade in the car i owned for a car that i'm financing bc the older vehicle was dying and it was either wait until it fully died and not have a trade in or do it now and hope i can manage. now i have a car bill i cannot afford, but i couldn't survive here without transportation. there is zero public transport, biking here is unsafe (i can't afford a reasonable bike anyway), and i cannot walk the distances necessary to access my medical care, some of which requires a 45 min drive one way to get to.

i need help. i hate begging, i hate feeling like i can't even take care of myself and my family, but i don't see any other choice at this point. i cannot afford an entire household on the income of one disabled artist. altho i'm making a reasonable amount at art (and more than i would likely make in any job capitalism decides i can do), i need help. i'm looking into delivery driving to supplement now that i have a car that can handle it, but that is notoriously not a long term solution. the last time i got a "real job," it ruined my health to the point i was unable to get out of bed many days... and that was working 3 days a week.

all funds here will go to basic survival: rent, utilities, car payment, gas, medical bills, food, etc. there is no set goal; i will simply have it up until i am stable enough to deactivate it. if this is running, i need help. the shame i feel having to do this is immense, but i have to accept that my disability is not going to allow me to do much more than i already am. i literally spend every second i have available working, and it's just not enough.

please help. please share if you can't. i don't know what else to do at this point.

__________

2/28/24 UPDATE: most large supplies for my physical therapy have been purchased, although i cannot currently access the specialists i need to see because my transportation is unsafe and i have been struggling to keep afloat on funds. my disabilities are becoming slightly more manageable with therapy, but i have to spend hours and a lot of energy doing physically taxing exercises in order to maintain functionality, and it's made my fatigue much worse. this should improve with time, but right now, working is extremely hard, and i need help. i don't know how else i can put it. i am disabled and trans and mixed race, and i need help to survive in a region that really hates all of those things.

i will update this with more information soon. i just wanted to make a note of changes and why they're happening. thank you all for the help.

__________

hi, my name's johnny! i'm a 37-yr-old disabled trans dude of color living in the southern us, and i make art to pay the bills. i absolutely love my job!! but to be transparent, it's really the only one i'm able to work due to my disabilities, and it's been harder and harder to do so in recent years. i've struggled with chronic pain and work related injuries for decades, but the pain, numbness, tingling, and cold in my hands and arms has become so bad that i struggle to get enough work done to keep up with daily survival. just typing this much, i've had to take 3 breaks to shake my hands out because they're so cold i can barely use them. this is a daily occurrence and can last all day, no matter what i do.

i've recently (finally!) gotten my foot in the door with a physical therapist covered by my insurance, and she confirmed my suspicions: i'm extremely hypermobile, and it's plausible that i could have hEDS (i checked out on most of the screenings, but she isn't able to diagnose me). i start my physical therapy appointments next week.

before we got into any exercises or stratches, her first recommendation was: replace your desk and office chair, asap. while i have an ergonomic keyboard and mouse, i'm waaaaay too short for most chairs and desks, and not only do my feet not touch the ground, but my shoulders are constantly tensed and rolled forward as i have to lean to type and use my desk at all.

so here's the problem: all office chairs and desks that adjust low enough to work for me are extremely expensive, especially those that are large enough to suit my needs as an artist. i not only need a large, flat desk for sewing and other traditional arts, but a drafting desk for digital drawing. note this is all at my therapist's recommendation. most ergonomic furniture is made for people at least ten inches taller than i am, and it's making my job impossible, and i simply do not make enough to replace it.

i've found the least expensive versions of all the items i need, and i'm still looking at a hefty amount: just under 1700 usd. and that's for the bare minimum of items i need (chair, desk, and drafting desk). these are the items i'm aiming to buy, including the listings and amounts at checkout, for transparency:

i'm asking for the amount just to afford these three items (plus cover fees from gfm). any changes to the total amount i'm asking for will be to purchase other supplies my therapist recommends (weights, braces, more ergonomic equipment, etc). i'm doing my best to work for a living, and i enjoy my job, but i cannot continue to keep my head above water at this rate. my ability to function is relying on replacing old equipment, and i just can't do it without help.

thank you to any who donate or share. i appreciate all help y'all are willing and able to give!

UPDATE 10/11: chair ordered, next i'm aiming for the larger desk. then the two biggest & most expensive items are out of the way.

unfortunately, my therapist also recommended i get some gentle exercise equipment, an adjustable keyboard rack, and a few other things like compression/support, braces, etc. i should be able to find all of these for around 200 dollars, and will provide links/proof if requested. if she asks for certain tests to be done with a rheumatologist, i'll also need help with that, as those bills rack up fast. for now, i'm keeping the total as low as possible, but it's really all down to what the experts say i need to do.

thank you to everyone who has shared, donated, boosted, etc. i'm eternally grateful for all the help y'all have provided.

UPDATE 10/19: no further items ordered yet. really trying to save for the larger desk asap. had to add an extra 300 dollars for custom orthotic shoes and/or inserts (we're gonna figure that out in future visits), some exercise equipment (mostly an exercise ball and some small weights), a textbook she recommends i keep on hand, and some other items that insurance refused to cover. i'm really trying to keep everyone up to date on why the number is what it is, and i'm willing to share links/answer questions if needed. thanks for all the help so far!

UPDATE 10/31 (HAPPY HALLOWEEN): will be ordering the largest item soon! thanks to everyone for the help, i am SO appreciative!!

unfortunately, i had to add more to the total for posture correction garments and medical braces as well as an activity tracker to monitor my heartrate and blood pressure. she also wants me to see a rheumatologist and get some tests done soon to rule out some potential diagnoses, so i'll likely need funds for that, too.

but to end this update on a happy note: i am extremely extremely thankful for everyone's help!! hopefully the new furniture i can get will help my back and shoulders, and i cannot thank y'all enough!

UPDATE 11/11: my insurance has decided to retroactively charge me for some of my visits (after they pre-approved full coverage, and i got a bill for 150 dollars. i can't afford to keep going if they're going to keep charging me unless i get help. as it stands, i cannot access anything past a chair/desk, and now i cannot reliably access healthcare that i desperately need. it's just starting to make a difference. i need orthotic shoe inserts, i need medical braces, i need to see other specialists. i know it's a lot to ask, and i know the amount keeps increasing, but i don't have any other way to access care. thank you to anyone who helps.

UPDATE 12/1: raised amount needed by 500 bc my therapist has recommended more support garments, braces, and at least one of a specific kind of supportive pillow. all of these things are ridiculously expensive. i cannot afford them without help. i haven't been able to access my orthotics yet, and i am still needing money to ensure my access to physical therapy doesn't lapse. i am thankful for the help received but i am desperate to continue with my care. thank you to anyone who helps, shares, donates, etc.

UPDATE 12/7: i've raised enough to pay the bill i owed, but now my therapist really wants me to go see a specific rheumatologist that specializes in what she suspects i have. unfortunately, it's a drive, and it's likely to be expensive. i've raised the amount again, but it doesn't encompass everything so the number will likely go up again. there just keep being more things i need to purchase. being disabled is expensive. thank you to everyone for any help.

UPDATE 1/8: i've purchased many of the items i need for now thanks to help from y'all!! now i'm saving up to see a specialist to make sure i'm not having autoimmune issues and see if i can get a diagnosis for what my physical therapist expects is wrong. unfortunately there's only one in state that diagnoses/treats my specific issues, and he's a 45-60 min drive away. in addition to the cost of seeing him (i don't expect my insurance to cover everything at ALL), my car gets abysmal gas mileage, so i'll need to fill it up at least once every time i go. i'd like to have at least four hundred on hand in case the cost is higher than anticipated, as they can't give me a quote until i'm there. i'd hate to drive an hour to get there only to be unable to afford the care i need.

i'm super super grateful for all the help provided so far. i could never have afforded to access this level of care before. now i need help making sure my body isn't damaging my organs and connective tissue. all the physical therapy exercises in the world won't stop an autoimmune disease. any shares are extremely appreciated!