Help me reach my end in peace.

My name is Esperanza Huerta most know me as Star. I write these words as I lay in my hospital bed, praying for some physical pain relief. First of all, I have always been very independent and therefore asking for help and being completely dependent of others is not easy for me. My life changed on March 2017 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I went through chemo, a unilateral mastectomy, followed by radiation therapy and more chemo on a pill form (Xeloda). I was on my third cycle of Xeloda when I began to experience shortness of breath and chest pain. Since I was well aware that the type of cancer I had is very aggressive and has a very high rate of reoccurrence, terrified I went to the ER. There I was told not to worry and that it was just a condition called pleurisy and would resolve on its own. I then went to see my oncologist who reassured me that it was not cancer and that it was not pleurisy either because nothing could be seen on the X-ray that was done at the ER. The oncologist would try to order a CT scan, however the pain was so bad that I could not stand it and went back to the ER. I was admitted to observation and a CT scan of the chest showed multiple nodules in my lungs. I was told I had two years to live. Triple negative breast cancer is not easy to treat and it has a very high mortality rate. I continued with the best attitude possible but the pain just kept getting worse. I went to the ER in Baytown twice more and though I tried to get them to listen to me because I knew something was very wrong, I was told, "of course there is something wrong, you have cancer and cancer is very painful" but they refused to look further into it and would just give me pain medicine. This past Friday I came to the hospital in Pasadena for a PET scan so that we would know exactly where this cancer is at now. Someone had weeks to get prior authorization through my insurance for the test but only requested it the day before the test was to be performed. Talk about feeling like your doctor's office staff couldn't care any less about my pain and overall situation. I was told that the test would not be done and would have to be rescheduled. I was physically sick, I felt my chest beyond heavy and simple tasks would leave me breathless, therefore, I decided to walk over to the emergency department. My pulse was really high and I was very quickly seen by the ER physician, immediately labs were ordered, an x-ray and CT scan were performed. The results showed a significant amount of fluid in my left pleural cavity. The fluid was removed and within hours I was feeling better little by little. That was short lived and once again the pain was getting worse and breathing was difficult. If I try to get up i feel like my heart is going to explode from the pain. Tomorrow I will have a surgery to take the fluid out and leave a tube in my chest so that someone can help me drain the pleural cavity at home. The pleural effusion is presumed to be malignant. With a life expectancy averaging at 6 months. This cancer business is a stinker to say the least. I'm not afraid to die but I am afraid of leaving my kids. My youngest daughter is only 6. My oldest is 16 but she is a special needs child. Her diagnosis is Cornelia deLange syndrome. She doesn't verbally communicate and I have always been her advocate. I know more about her condition than a lot of doctors. I'm scare to imagine her life without me in it. I'm scared that my kids would be seen as a burden once I'm gone. It is so difficult to accept that I won't get to finish raising them and push them to their full potential. Will someone else do that or will they have the mentality of "not my kid, not my problem"? I owe 28,000 on their home and I would hate for them to have to leave it if something happens to me. I don't want my family to have to worry about funeral costs so I would like to raise money for that too. It's too late for bucket lists because my health has deteriorated tremendously, but I want to part knowing that my kids will be able to stay in their home with their grandmother. I would also appreciate if my community would keep up with them and remind them that their mother had high expectations for them. If by a miracle I should survive I promise to give back to each and everyone of you every bit of money that you decide to donate towards our cause. If as expected I should die please check up on my kids and give them good advice and help them through life. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your generosity.