Fundraiser to pay back my mom
Donation protected
As i sit under coconut palm tree on my 39th bday i am guessing that's what many of my friends almost expect me to do- butterfly from one paradise to another, without knowing the darker side of my lifestyle neither the reason behind it. But i have reached the point when i'm choosing to stop escaping and facing my sh.t. And i need some help to do that.
Warning! my family doesn't know the key point of this story so those few of you who are connected to them, please, keep it that way.
Long story short: at my age my mom was divorced with 2 teenage daughters and a salary of 150 usd/month. We had one pair of winter boots to share and didnt have money for female sanitary products (which were luxury in post soviet countries) so we were making our own (DIY can be fun but that's not how i remember it).
Fast forward, many years later my mom moved to moscow and started earning decent (russian level) wages. I wanted to move to spain to do my phd (was it a real desire or just a phantasy is another question) and didnt have money for the move so my mom lent it to me. Then i went to USA to study on a scholarship and after the study was seduced to go to BM, for which i had no money either, but since i was already there, i asked my mom for help and she again lent me some. My first big trip to india, my yoga TTC - every big life changing event was sponsored by my mom. It was understood that once i settle in spain and get my job permit i'll pay it back.
But then a big bummer came into my life: i was diagnosed with a pretty scary disease, scary to an extent that all the money issues faded away and i felt like i NEEDED to do what made me feel alive while i still could: travel, postponing my debt and plans of well paid 9-5 job.
While i was travelling the world (financially sustainably since my yoga ttc) my mom was travelling from her far away suburbs to her job in moscow 2,5 hours each way (and still does 3 times a week). 5 hours a day spent commuting. That's where my "hedonism" can't mask it with any justification and i have to face the ugly side of it: that basically not paying my old debt off was partly putting my mom in this situation. Now my mom is about to buy a better apartment for herself and my grandpa and that's when i need to pay back that debt back. I do have three jobs at the moment (two online and one teaching yoga) but i am still a financial failure and don't have a fast enough solution to this. No bank will give me a loan with my financial history, but if you do know any bank or any other institution or association that does give such loans, i'd be more than happy to do it. I do want to invest time and energy in developing my retreats so i can live from what i love. But as my procrastination in solving this problem is effecting my family more than I wish to admit, i'm out here humbly asking for help. Help can be in different ways: a mini loan, an exchange, a donation, help with my retreats, a solid advice, a meaningful word of support, a digital hug or a smile. I do appreciate being able to write it all out without being (too) afraid of judgement and knowing there will be understanding. It did take quite a lot of courage indeed. thank you for reading <3
and once again, if you know my family, please, please, please, don't tell them about this plea for help and especially the part about disease.
Warning! my family doesn't know the key point of this story so those few of you who are connected to them, please, keep it that way.
Long story short: at my age my mom was divorced with 2 teenage daughters and a salary of 150 usd/month. We had one pair of winter boots to share and didnt have money for female sanitary products (which were luxury in post soviet countries) so we were making our own (DIY can be fun but that's not how i remember it).
Fast forward, many years later my mom moved to moscow and started earning decent (russian level) wages. I wanted to move to spain to do my phd (was it a real desire or just a phantasy is another question) and didnt have money for the move so my mom lent it to me. Then i went to USA to study on a scholarship and after the study was seduced to go to BM, for which i had no money either, but since i was already there, i asked my mom for help and she again lent me some. My first big trip to india, my yoga TTC - every big life changing event was sponsored by my mom. It was understood that once i settle in spain and get my job permit i'll pay it back.
But then a big bummer came into my life: i was diagnosed with a pretty scary disease, scary to an extent that all the money issues faded away and i felt like i NEEDED to do what made me feel alive while i still could: travel, postponing my debt and plans of well paid 9-5 job.
While i was travelling the world (financially sustainably since my yoga ttc) my mom was travelling from her far away suburbs to her job in moscow 2,5 hours each way (and still does 3 times a week). 5 hours a day spent commuting. That's where my "hedonism" can't mask it with any justification and i have to face the ugly side of it: that basically not paying my old debt off was partly putting my mom in this situation. Now my mom is about to buy a better apartment for herself and my grandpa and that's when i need to pay back that debt back. I do have three jobs at the moment (two online and one teaching yoga) but i am still a financial failure and don't have a fast enough solution to this. No bank will give me a loan with my financial history, but if you do know any bank or any other institution or association that does give such loans, i'd be more than happy to do it. I do want to invest time and energy in developing my retreats so i can live from what i love. But as my procrastination in solving this problem is effecting my family more than I wish to admit, i'm out here humbly asking for help. Help can be in different ways: a mini loan, an exchange, a donation, help with my retreats, a solid advice, a meaningful word of support, a digital hug or a smile. I do appreciate being able to write it all out without being (too) afraid of judgement and knowing there will be understanding. It did take quite a lot of courage indeed. thank you for reading <3
and once again, if you know my family, please, please, please, don't tell them about this plea for help and especially the part about disease.
Organizer
Katia Namaste
Organizer
Barcelona
