Connor Riley Memorial Fund
Donation protected
A PARENT'S WORST NIGHTMARE...
On Saturday April 18, 16 year old Connor Riley was riding laps at the 3 Palms Motocross Track in Conroe TX with his Twin Brother Quincy Riley. Around 3pm Quincy called me in an uncharacteristic panic: "Dad, Connors hurt bad, Like really f-%^ing bad!".....
I had never heard his voice in such a panic and knew he meant it as he said "I am picking you up NOW!"
The track is just the down the street so by the time I ran down the stairs of the apartment complex I could already hear him flying down the wrong side of the road with the horn blaring.......he squealed the tires into the parking lot and did not even stop as I hopped in. He was driving like he rides a motocross bike, at the ragged edge of control, and as fast as the machine could go. We were back in the track parking lot within 2 or 3 minutes...
I COULD SEE IT ON THEIR FACES...
When I ran out to the track everything shifted into slow motion, I knew this was not another broken collarbone or sprained ankle. 7 or 8 medics and 4 or 5 track personnel were scrambling and their horrified faces said it all. When I reached my son I saw a sight I had never seen in my 43 years in motocross. Connor was not conscious, but fighting for air with the help of the dedicated first responders. In that second I allowed myself to see what my mind was trying to block my heart from seeing.
I FELL TO MY KNEES...
Connor laid in a pool of blood that was streaming from his mouth and ears. I fell to my knees and held his hands and yelled "Fight! Don't you dare give up! Fight!" The first 2 times I yelled it his chest rose! While he continued to fight for breathe he never was able to respond again as he did the first 2 requests.
While we all went through the motions looking for a miracle the medical professionals were very careful not to give us false hope. I can remember pacing throughout the hospital halls murmuring..."No, No Fu$%^ing way!" over and over "Not happening, this is not happening" as if it would in somehow will it away.
"DAD, THAT'S NOT ME...."
It was 3am in the ICU as I stared into my boys eyes crying that I think Connor simply could not take it anymore....he could not watch me in so much pain and found a way to let me know. "Dad, that's not me. I never got in that ambulance at the track, but I am ok."
When his Mom arrived that morning I left the hospital and never came back. My boy was no longer there and I went home and dove into the thousands of hours of videos and pictures I had, playing his favorite Linkin Park song over and over as loud as it could play.
I thought about the the rider who seconds after Connor crashed and lost his helmet, flew over the same high speed jump and saw Connor. How helpless he felt as he knew his bike was already committed to a flight path that would make hitting Connor completely unavoidable. The sheer impact of colliding at 40+ mph. The horror as he realized what he already knew. This was not just another crash everyone picks up their bike and rides away.
I reached out to Justin that night to insure he was not carrying that burden and knew I felt for him as much as Connor. I learned he had a child himself and could not imagine what was going through his head. He later told me The Riley Family changed his life forever.
During those next 2 or 3 days I never slept because all I wanted was to find some way to tell the whole world how special my boy was. During that time I made 4 videos that were watched by over 5,000 people who got a chance to learn how blessed we all were to have him for the time we did:
I reached out to the owner's of 3 Palms to make sure they were not discouraged and reassure them that what they provided for these kids was crucial. I was one of those MX kids. Each of us a little eccentric, a little edgy, and typically did not fit in stick and ball world. Without Motocross we all may have chosen very different paths. Motocross connects them with family, gives them focus and organizational skills. It provides a sense of community and inspiration to be healthy, be strong and fight for what they want.
I returned to the Hospital only after the 6 individuals who would be saved through Connor's the donation of his vital organs had been lined up in 6 different operating rooms across the US. As Connor rolled out of the ICU the entire hospital staff poured into the hallways and honored this Hero for his precious gifts of life:
Connors heart beats today in a 38 yo woman, his liver a 42 yo man, a 37 yo man and and 39 yo woman received left and right kidneys. Each of his eyes gave sight to people who had never seen the light on day. He feels every heartbeat and saw his own first light again when his eyes focused and gave sight to the 2 recipients.
CONNOR CHANGED THEIR LIVES...
Countless friends and associates came to the forefront with stories of how Connor changed their lives. They used words like hero, role model and mentor. They told stories of things Connor did and said, things I remembered instilling in him that I always wondered if he had actually unplugged himself from Snapchat and IG long enough to even hear me. He did.
After thousands of well wishers poured their souls out watching his videos I knew it was time to switch gears from mourning to celebrating this incredible boy so I created this tribute:
After watching the video a few times I realized that I was blessed to be able to provide my boy with such a full life in such a short period of time. I found more peace as I realized a full life was not mine to give, it was his to embrace upon his own.
(Learn more about Connor at connorlives.com)
You see Connor lived his life on his own terms and lead a full life because his arms were always open to receive it. He never asked for it, he never expected it and thats why I couldn't resist putting him in a position to experience it all.
When the darkness comes to me and I feel as if I have lived the greatest loss any man could ever live, I only need to remember that I could have suffered a far worse fate. I could have lost a son who never knew how much his Dad loved him. A son with unresolved issues with his father or worse, that had just gotten into a fight and exchanged words that can never be taken back.
I am blessed to have gotten to a good place with my boy. There are no regrets, no unresolved issues and nothing that went unsaid, we were good. We are good and it's time to focus on doing some good with what he left us.
CONNOR RILEY HONORARY RIDE THIS SATURDAY. JOIN US.
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
After falling short of the original goal and some changes in our original estimates, we applied the funds raised to date towards what we believe would have been most important to Connor.
While we were able to cover the incidental expenses of the 3 weeks following the accident we are learning there is a good chance medical expenses could be as much as $150,000 and while we had insurance it is likely we will be responsible for a significant amount of that. So, instead of dropping the money into making a small impact on a big bill we focused on Connor's twin brother.
Connors twin brother Quincy may have been impacted more than anyone within all of this. Long after his parents are gone he will still feel the loss of his other self. They lived their lives for each other and were not whole unless the other was with them. Connor was the feeling soul and Quincy was the logical one and the driving force that kept them both on track. Quincy needs to remain active and continue the pursuits both of them shared so we made purchases to allow him to have a Dodge RAM pickup, paid off, that will eliminate any vehicle costs for him until he is 20 and then still provide him a downpayment for his next vehicle.
Any additional funding will go towards an account his Mother is setting up to be prepared when the expenses are finalized.
MY BOYS FINAL GIFT TO ME.
As I wrote this story and pieced together 3 or 4 very fast moving days I realized something that gave me great peace.
You see, I had always had a hard time with the fact that no one really knew when my boy may have actually died. He was assisted by machines from the time he left the track so while his body was functioning you never knew if he was really even there. Did he die on impact? In the ambulance? or in the cold antiseptic hospital during the hours that we were not allowed to be by his side? And then it dawned on me...
My boy died at the track, but not until I was by his side holding his hands. His last acts in life was the two breathes he took for me when he felt me hold him and heard my voice. He took those breathes for me. He knew that his body could no longer sustain him, that the damage was too great, yet the last act of my boy, the last 2 breathes he took on his own, were for me.
Join me in honoring my son.
On Saturday April 18, 16 year old Connor Riley was riding laps at the 3 Palms Motocross Track in Conroe TX with his Twin Brother Quincy Riley. Around 3pm Quincy called me in an uncharacteristic panic: "Dad, Connors hurt bad, Like really f-%^ing bad!".....
I had never heard his voice in such a panic and knew he meant it as he said "I am picking you up NOW!"The track is just the down the street so by the time I ran down the stairs of the apartment complex I could already hear him flying down the wrong side of the road with the horn blaring.......he squealed the tires into the parking lot and did not even stop as I hopped in. He was driving like he rides a motocross bike, at the ragged edge of control, and as fast as the machine could go. We were back in the track parking lot within 2 or 3 minutes...
I COULD SEE IT ON THEIR FACES...
When I ran out to the track everything shifted into slow motion, I knew this was not another broken collarbone or sprained ankle. 7 or 8 medics and 4 or 5 track personnel were scrambling and their horrified faces said it all. When I reached my son I saw a sight I had never seen in my 43 years in motocross. Connor was not conscious, but fighting for air with the help of the dedicated first responders. In that second I allowed myself to see what my mind was trying to block my heart from seeing.
I FELL TO MY KNEES...
Connor laid in a pool of blood that was streaming from his mouth and ears. I fell to my knees and held his hands and yelled "Fight! Don't you dare give up! Fight!" The first 2 times I yelled it his chest rose! While he continued to fight for breathe he never was able to respond again as he did the first 2 requests.
While we all went through the motions looking for a miracle the medical professionals were very careful not to give us false hope. I can remember pacing throughout the hospital halls murmuring..."No, No Fu$%^ing way!" over and over "Not happening, this is not happening" as if it would in somehow will it away.
"DAD, THAT'S NOT ME...."
It was 3am in the ICU as I stared into my boys eyes crying that I think Connor simply could not take it anymore....he could not watch me in so much pain and found a way to let me know. "Dad, that's not me. I never got in that ambulance at the track, but I am ok."
When his Mom arrived that morning I left the hospital and never came back. My boy was no longer there and I went home and dove into the thousands of hours of videos and pictures I had, playing his favorite Linkin Park song over and over as loud as it could play.
I thought about the the rider who seconds after Connor crashed and lost his helmet, flew over the same high speed jump and saw Connor. How helpless he felt as he knew his bike was already committed to a flight path that would make hitting Connor completely unavoidable. The sheer impact of colliding at 40+ mph. The horror as he realized what he already knew. This was not just another crash everyone picks up their bike and rides away.
I reached out to Justin that night to insure he was not carrying that burden and knew I felt for him as much as Connor. I learned he had a child himself and could not imagine what was going through his head. He later told me The Riley Family changed his life forever.
During those next 2 or 3 days I never slept because all I wanted was to find some way to tell the whole world how special my boy was. During that time I made 4 videos that were watched by over 5,000 people who got a chance to learn how blessed we all were to have him for the time we did:
I reached out to the owner's of 3 Palms to make sure they were not discouraged and reassure them that what they provided for these kids was crucial. I was one of those MX kids. Each of us a little eccentric, a little edgy, and typically did not fit in stick and ball world. Without Motocross we all may have chosen very different paths. Motocross connects them with family, gives them focus and organizational skills. It provides a sense of community and inspiration to be healthy, be strong and fight for what they want.
I returned to the Hospital only after the 6 individuals who would be saved through Connor's the donation of his vital organs had been lined up in 6 different operating rooms across the US. As Connor rolled out of the ICU the entire hospital staff poured into the hallways and honored this Hero for his precious gifts of life:
Connors heart beats today in a 38 yo woman, his liver a 42 yo man, a 37 yo man and and 39 yo woman received left and right kidneys. Each of his eyes gave sight to people who had never seen the light on day. He feels every heartbeat and saw his own first light again when his eyes focused and gave sight to the 2 recipients.
CONNOR CHANGED THEIR LIVES...
Countless friends and associates came to the forefront with stories of how Connor changed their lives. They used words like hero, role model and mentor. They told stories of things Connor did and said, things I remembered instilling in him that I always wondered if he had actually unplugged himself from Snapchat and IG long enough to even hear me. He did.
After thousands of well wishers poured their souls out watching his videos I knew it was time to switch gears from mourning to celebrating this incredible boy so I created this tribute:
After watching the video a few times I realized that I was blessed to be able to provide my boy with such a full life in such a short period of time. I found more peace as I realized a full life was not mine to give, it was his to embrace upon his own.
(Learn more about Connor at connorlives.com)
You see Connor lived his life on his own terms and lead a full life because his arms were always open to receive it. He never asked for it, he never expected it and thats why I couldn't resist putting him in a position to experience it all.
When the darkness comes to me and I feel as if I have lived the greatest loss any man could ever live, I only need to remember that I could have suffered a far worse fate. I could have lost a son who never knew how much his Dad loved him. A son with unresolved issues with his father or worse, that had just gotten into a fight and exchanged words that can never be taken back.
I am blessed to have gotten to a good place with my boy. There are no regrets, no unresolved issues and nothing that went unsaid, we were good. We are good and it's time to focus on doing some good with what he left us. CONNOR RILEY HONORARY RIDE THIS SATURDAY. JOIN US.
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
After falling short of the original goal and some changes in our original estimates, we applied the funds raised to date towards what we believe would have been most important to Connor.
While we were able to cover the incidental expenses of the 3 weeks following the accident we are learning there is a good chance medical expenses could be as much as $150,000 and while we had insurance it is likely we will be responsible for a significant amount of that. So, instead of dropping the money into making a small impact on a big bill we focused on Connor's twin brother.
Connors twin brother Quincy may have been impacted more than anyone within all of this. Long after his parents are gone he will still feel the loss of his other self. They lived their lives for each other and were not whole unless the other was with them. Connor was the feeling soul and Quincy was the logical one and the driving force that kept them both on track. Quincy needs to remain active and continue the pursuits both of them shared so we made purchases to allow him to have a Dodge RAM pickup, paid off, that will eliminate any vehicle costs for him until he is 20 and then still provide him a downpayment for his next vehicle.
Any additional funding will go towards an account his Mother is setting up to be prepared when the expenses are finalized.
MY BOYS FINAL GIFT TO ME.
As I wrote this story and pieced together 3 or 4 very fast moving days I realized something that gave me great peace.
You see, I had always had a hard time with the fact that no one really knew when my boy may have actually died. He was assisted by machines from the time he left the track so while his body was functioning you never knew if he was really even there. Did he die on impact? In the ambulance? or in the cold antiseptic hospital during the hours that we were not allowed to be by his side? And then it dawned on me...
My boy died at the track, but not until I was by his side holding his hands. His last acts in life was the two breathes he took for me when he felt me hold him and heard my voice. He took those breathes for me. He knew that his body could no longer sustain him, that the damage was too great, yet the last act of my boy, the last 2 breathes he took on his own, were for me.
Join me in honoring my son.
Organizer
Dennis Riley
Organizer
Conroe, TX
