Brooks to train whole-heartedly in faraway lands.

It is once again time for me to go to the mountain monastery to find silence and meditate on how best to serve the world. And I am again humbly holding out my begging bowl and asking you for support. I'm finding this difficult; many resistant thoughts push back at me, questioning. One of these says, "who do I think I am to ask again when it's been just three years since the last time I made this request? Haven't I failed to make good on my promises then?"

I reviewed the video I made back then. I can't say it wasn't painful to watch how deep a hole I was in then and how desperately I needed support. Then I remembered that over a hundred people offered support so I could get to my training. Some I knew well; others were barely acquaintances. And I remember how much wind it put in my sails, how incredibly motivated I was to train whole-heartedly when I got to Green Gulch Farm. When I look back at that memory and ask again who I think I am to ask for help, there's an answer. I am someone who gains enormous benefit from letting go of my pride and stories of having to take care of everything I need alone. I want to face the fact that my life isn't just my own, that things just work better when done together.

But seeing how much better I feel now compared to last time in 2019, another question comes, "If I'm not as truly desperate as I was then, how dare I ask?" Looking at the video (and trying not to cringe too much), I could also see that I was asking you to help me personally in my need. I was ill and needed help to get up. To be able to 'human' better. What becomes clear then is that this time I'm not just asking for my own sake. Zen training isn't just about me. It's about being of service to everyone. I'm asking for your support as an investment in the health and well-being of everyone. I have more to learn and more to give. Are you available to help me?

In practical terms, I am privileged to be able to pay for my first three months of intensive training. When those months are up, I plan to continue training, and here I need help to pay for dana (generosity/tuition) to my teachers and the training institutions. I also need insurance (a must-have in the US), a new practice robe and optionally (stretch goal!) get a ticket to return home next summer bearing whatever gifts I may have found along the way.