Beth and Timi

Hi, my name is Meghan and I am fundraising for my cousin Beth and her wife Timi. Their love has been amazing to witness, and I am so grateful to have them in my life. I will share Beth's letter below:

January 28, 2023

My Dearest Family and Friends,

My heart is filled with love from Timi and from all of you. I cherish having known and loved each of you. I am filled with gratitude for the life I have been blessed with and I continue to choose joy. This may be the last time I can write you, but know that Timi will make sure to read to me any communications you send.

My only deep concern is for Timi to have the support she needs to make the transitions she must when she is left here after I go on to the greatest adventure. Timi is giving her all to caregiving for me, every minute of every hour, and every day. She has done and continues to do everything possible to love and help me. Let's help her go on.

I have been asked by so many of you, what can you do to help in this harsh time of illness, so I will tell you. Since we all live so far apart in distance, the greatest gift you could give to me would be to help with a go-fund-me or similar funding campaign which would give me peace of mind that my devoted spouse, Timi, would be okay through the transition after I am gone.

She will be left to cope with final arrangements for me, and more. Her income will be drastically reduced when I am gone. I would like to know she can get through the ordeal of getting a new place to live, while being able to continue living here in our suite temporarily, get our 2009 car repaired, downsize our material possessions, then get help to move once she is approved for subsidized housing.

We never expected something like this cancer would suddenly stop us from fulfilling our plans for this year. We had invested so much money, effort, and time to get me free of the 2021 cancer and to make my dream come true of living close to the ocean on the island with Timi. Our plans were to begin this February working to get subsidized housing, repair the car, and downsize material possessions, which we could not do in the earlier pandemic years, in preparation to live the rest of our time together on the Island.

Because of immigration rules, we could not live in subsidized housing while Timi was still in sponsorship by me. Some of you know that we also had to cope with the upstairs tenant problem for several months which delayed some of our plans. Timi did such an amazing job of presenting evidence that they agreed to move out, but due to the system backlog, the process began last August and will not be complete until this March.

Through our eight years together, Timi and I kept on through all the challenges of developing our journey of love beginning when we lived 2500 miles apart, moving Timi up from Arkansas to Washington State, then getting married, then going thru the immigration process to get her living in Canada as a Permanent Resident (and she is soon to be a Canadian Citizen in the next few months). We also made it thru medical challenges, pandemic problems, a very difficult housing market, and so on. We have no regrets and are both extremely thankful. However, we are still feeling shocked because we have been blindsided by the sudden diagnosis and rapid onset of cancer which will soon set me free.

I feel extra sadness and concern because we made my dreams come true but now, I have to rush away and Timi will be left with so much burden. I cannot bare the thought of her being at risk of homelessness due to the significant drop in income when I am gone, or of her being unable to get the support she needs because of her physical disabilities.

Timi made the move happen to get me to the ocean which is so precious and joyous to me. That gives me much comfort in this time of ending. I cannot give each of you, my family and friends, the attention I want to because I am so sick I can barely hang in for a very short while. The only thing I can give is my undying love. I will live on in Timi’s heart and words always and all ways. I am grateful for the love I also feel from your dear hearts. May you be blessed with happy memories of our time of knowing each other.

My sweet Timi has been such loving, wind beneath my wings. She would often stay home getting things done from our to-do list so I could go walking at the oceanside or in the forest every day. Other days, she would go with me, whether she was able to walk the trail at all or just ride with me. She worked hard to cook fabulous, healthy foods for us, helped make sure I was free to do lots of service and attend many meetings, and she traveled with me many times to family visits or meetings, even when it was physically harsh for her. She has sacrificed quite a bit from the very start of our love story without complaint or regret. We both agree that each moment of sharing our love, sobriety, spirituality, and joy is worth whatever it took.

We opted to put money we might have spent on a longer honeymoon, or a five-year wedding anniversary party with many of you, or on a newer car into coming to live on Vancouver Island where I could enjoy the ocean and pay for her Citizenship application. In fact, we feel like retiring on the Island made each day like a honeymoon. Our loving togetherness is better than any honeymoon could be, anyway. And oh, how we hoped you would get to visit us, here.

For more than six months, everyday, I communed with the ocean, beaches, rocks, and trees, walking and resting to meditate and reflect on life. Then this disease suddenly made me feel winded one day. A few months later, symptoms suddenly worsened and I received a diagnosis and a far too-short prognosis.

My breathing and physical ability to do anything has rapidly been badly affected. And Timi continues to be the wind beneath my wings. When Timi and I arrived to live in Nanaimo, on Vancouver Island, we immediately felt we belonged and we are at home, here. I am so thankful and fulfilled by having reached home with the love of my life before I have to leave for the greatest spiritual adventure.

Live Joy, my friends and family,

Your loving Beth