Beside the towpath-a narrowboat cafe

Whilst out walking along the canal in late 2018, I stumbled upon an old, unloved, run down narrowboat. I wasn't looking or searching at that time for a boaty home, but I'd made a plan three years earlier to save up and then hopefully be in a position to start looking.

It was around September 2018 on that walk in Barnoldswick, that I came across her. She was left tired looking and run down, but I knew instantly that she was already perfect. There was some old paperwork inside, when upon peering in, I could just make out an email address. So, I thought I'd take a chance and email the recipient, but not holding my breath on a response.

Three months passed when I got a reply. The owners had been out of the country and wondered if I'd like to meet up for a coffee. I couldn't believe it! Three months and then, out of nowhere, I was going back to see the narrowboat I'd fallen for and meet her owners.

That very day, they handed me the keys and said the boat was mine.

I was living in a flat share at the time, and the boat was a mess. She was completely uninhabitable and broken. However, two weeks later, in January 2019, I gave up the keys to the flat and moved onto the boat.

It was bleak, and Winter was pretty tough to say the least, but I cleaned her out, made a bed from pallets and started to do what I could. I scrounged pallets, offcuts of timber and started to put some love into her, with very little skill or idea. She was and still is, very organic. Many hours were spent just sat scratching my head over the how's and what if's.

I'd bought a boat.. I'd no idea about how to build, fix, repair or run one.. What was I thinking?

I managed to get through Spring and find a boat yard. So I booked a slot to have her lifted out and looked at, where I could do some of the necessary work needed to get her through boat safety in order to insure and licence her properly.

In the run up to 2019, for many years I'd suffered with my mental health. I'd had a couple of breakdowns that left me unsure of myself. My anxiety was at a high point and I was alone.

Finally the day came where she was getting lifted out, and I planned on doing all the work needed to make her safe. I'd spoken to a few people on the canal, other boaters and people at the boat yard, and there were lots of offers of help with her. But unfortunately those offers were never to come, and I was left with a catalogue of hidden things that needed fixing, with no real idea of how I was going to do it in time before the weather changed again and I was to face a full Winter aboard. I'd been promised, assured, advised on so many occasions while the boat was out of the water, but I soon realised that I was alone and had to get things done as best as I could.

Come October, I was run down and feeling utterly exhausted, driving back and forth three hours to work, then getting back to the boat in the dark with no comforts. No bathroom, toilet, lighting, electricity. You name it, she needed it.

Then one night, I got back to the boat in the dark, only to find the extension lead, that I had been using, had been taken. My phone low on charge, no light, freezing cold, and nobody around. I was completely cut off. I had a panic attack, hyperventilated and passed out. Banging my head and knocking myself unconscious.

I woke up in the late/early hours, and I was in a mess. I was shaking like I had parkinsons. I could hardly walk. I curled up and slept for 2 days.

It was weeks before I realised that I needed help and desperately. I walked to the closest village. I wasn't registered at the doctors but went in, and fell apart again at the reception desk.

I had no idea how I was going to cope now. I couldn't work. Physically I was incapable of dealing with people, customers, responsibilities or thoughts. I was literally a mess. I'd been in the building trade self employed for 20 years, and now after being confident in my work and skills, I felt like a child.

I stayed on the boat. I had enough money for food and basics, and a little spare for small items I needed to work on the boat. The list was huge, or it felt huge.

The list was huge, or it felt huge, of all the things needing doing before she was due to be put back in the water. A lot of that time is a blur. Long days spent zoned out, grinding and fixing my boat up.

I managed to get 80% of the essential things done before being lifted back in the water on Xmas eve 2019. I was allowed to stay local at the time with my health being the way it was. I was nervous and needed to rest so I could get back on my feet.

New year came and went. I spent it alone on the boat and kept myself busy as best I could. I managed to get a few more jobs done but I wasn't well. I was exhausted all the time. I had a form of narcolepsy. My body burned off so much stressful anxiety that I slept stood up at times. I was functioning but I wasn't really getting far.

I went back to see the doctor in the January and they changed my medication. By February I was starting to level out again and taking better care of myself, eating, walking and resting.

Then came March 2020. All hell broke loose with the pandemic and I found myself locked down for eight weeks. I'd just about found the strength to look for work again and then was told I couldn't walk the streets let alone go to work.

My business and my health suffered dramatically again. I couldn't work in customers houses. I couldn't drive anywhere. The streets were abandoned and I was pretty much bankrupt after 20 years of being sought after.

Luckily the weather was good that March. There was a heatwave and kept me going. I managed to find solace in the woods along the canal, walking alone and away from others like I was supposed to. It was a very surreal time to be witness to, and to see others struggling, panicked and angry. It was hard to keep positive at times.

It was then I met a local passer by that walked his dog each day near the boat, on his 1 hour essential exercise. He'd stop and chat. We put the world to rights and became good friends.

Lockdown eased a little. People on bikes were abundant, defying the lockdown rules. It was so busy despite the scare. I still kept myself safe and isolated but I realised I wasn't going to be able to go back to the way it was before.

One morning I was sat on the back of the boat, my friend sat a few meters away with his dog. An elderly couple, walking past together, jested they would love a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich, to which we all laughed. Then the penny dropped... What if I could do that for people? I could live and work here on the water. I can cook and was pretty good at talking with people despite my condition. What if I set up as a little cafe, eliminate my stress, help others to smile a bit with a cup of tea and some small talk? It could work I thought.

From that moment on, I've been focusing on just that, but my health has held me back. I lost contract opportunity's with the pandemic, and my condition resulted in me being signed off indefinitely with anxiety and chronic long term depression. It's invisible to most people. Anyone who is unfortunate enough to suffer will understand that it's got a mind of its own, and its utterly debilitating. I want to be able to give back, helping others along the way who stop to chat and have a brew. Depression and anxiety is more common than we care to admit, and the tiniest gesture or word can make a huge difference to someone's day.

I approached local authorities regarding my idea, but there's very little help out there to get small businesses back on the ladder after the last disastrous two years. I've found some help through chamber of commerce, but they need the business functioning and operational before they can start to provide business help. So I'm currently putting together a business plan, and gradually doing what I can with regards to fitting the cafe out ready for trading. I've had an amazing donation of some kitchen units, and a good friend helped me to fit them for which I can't thank him enough. I've also had a gas hot plate fitted on the work counter so in time I can do various hot meals to take away. My intention is to plan my routes ahead, and use local organic farm produce from small businesses along the canal. My aim is to make homemade dairy ice cream in small batches, and to make my own syrups from fruits, berry's, wild herbs through the seasons that I forage. Ive been making the syrups and home made jams over the last 18 months with amazing success. I aim to make traditional coffee with beans roasted by another narrowboat business from Lancashire, and a wide selection of teas, made locally by a small artisan tea sommelier. There's a few other regular recipe specialties I'll be having on the menu too.

I'm not great at asking for help in any form. I've always been so capable and confident, and always been there to help others rather than being on the receiving end. So this is a struggle for me to open up and lay bare the last few years that have brought me to this point in time.

I'm happy to reply to anyone that takes an interest in my plans, asks questions, offers advice, or needs to know, in more detail, the ideas I've got for the future.

So if you've got this far, and feel you'd like to know more, or help in some way, then please don't hesitate to ask.

Thank you