Barbara Ciulla(Fryar)-when the caregiver gets sick

It’s been a rough year for my mom’s side of the family. My mother has had 4 deaths in the family so far including her brother and sister. This is all while finding out she had emphysema. When getting her lungs scanned in June/July that’s when they found the cancer by accident due to her enlarged spleen and lymph nodes.

My mother has stage 4 marginal zone lymphoma. Marginal zone lymphoma breaks into 3 categories. In her case she has 2 of the 3 types Nodal and Splenic which are the rarest forms to have and she has both. Her spleen is enlarged and her liver is damaged. There is no cure but she does have the ability to go into remission God willing. Due to this not being the typical cancer we are used to you don’t just get treatment for it when they find it. Doctors wait for your symptoms from the cancer to get terrible before they do anything. With her spleen continuing to grow they think she will start in the spring in a clinical trial.

Her insurance has been fighting to not have to pay for important things like the most recent is her PET scan. This has been causing a delay in her care. The medical bills are starting to pile up and she hasn’t even gotten treatment yet. To find a rare cancer she has had a lot of scans, blood draws, and had to go to 2 hospitals for confirmation. She had to retire early from this news and she was the only one working. My dad had to go on disability early due to his own chronic health problems. They also still help take care of my brother who lives with them and cannot work.

My mom is tough and to outsiders that truly do not know my mom this can be intimidating. However deep down you learn this wall is her armor and she is really loving and selfless on the inside. She cares deeply for others and has picked me up more times than I can count. However due to her being the caregiver she will never ask for anything or complain about her own circumstances. She absolutely hates taking away from others so this is why I’m asking instead without her blessing. I love you mom don’t kill me.

My mom loves visiting me and seeing her granddaughters. I would love to get them here last minute for Christmas. It’s her favorite time of the year and she could never visit before during the holidays because of working in retail. It gives her something to look forward to before treatment starts. If this doesn’t work out the money could even go to medical bills or for her goal to someday get the house painted inside and new floors put in. Whatever it is she decides I would like it to put joy on her face and take the pressure and stress off her shoulders.

Please help my family in any way you can. I know it’s almost Christmas and money is tight so do not feel obligated. Prayers are free though and we will take all you got!