Baby Liam’s Funeral

After many complications during my pregnancy being in and out of hospitals I was placed on bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy. September 14 at 26 weeks I went to the restroom and felt like I peed all over the floor, we rushed to the hospital around 9 PM I was placed on a monitor for baby’s heart, it was confirmed my water broke– my membranes had completely ruptured. Ultrasound showed no amniotic fluid I was dilated 1 cm, contractions continued more intense doctor checked 1hr. later I had opened 3 cm I consented for c- section. One more hour and contractions were even sharper I had now dilated 7cm they could see Liam’s foot. Doctor called for a crash c-section I was rushed to OR daddy was unable to be by our side since it was an emergency, 20 min Later Liam was born, he had to be resuscitated. After a couple of minutes thankfully he responded was rushed to NICU on a ventilator and after 1 hr he was stable crying and moving around, had pulled out his breathing tubes and was breathing on his own. Doctor said it’s amazing a baby his age and breathing on his own doctor also explained he would not be eating for a couple weeks and would be in the hospital for 4 months, also informed us that a baby his age may develop many common complications 3 days passed he was breathing on his own,eating, and with no complications. The fifth day on our way to visit him we receive a call Liam stopped breathing so we had to intubate him our hearts dropped but maybe he had just got a bit tired. Eventually my son was put in isolation, had caught an infection in the blood he was septic, caught MRSA somehow we never really found the main source where it came from and even though they tried finding someone to blame yet others have agreed that Arrowhead hospital could have been at fault after days of antibiotics and a lot of blood work my son would get platelets and blood transfusion but nothing seemed to make him get better nor worse, finally I was at home about to head to the hospital when the Dr called and said my son had a couple rough hours then stopped and said I’ll call you back so I rushed to the hospital since she left me wondering what was going on. When I arrived the one on one nurse said he had been making her work he was so unstable a few minutes passed and Dr came in saying my son had pus coming out the lines he had in his belly button and she thought she had found the main source of infection, the only ones to mess around with those lines were his nurses. They pulled out the lines and she requested he’d be transferred that same day to Loma Linda said there was a infection specialist and I thought myself he would be better there since I had got recommend prior, few hours passed and finally we arrived to his new incubator was connected back to all the machines until he was stable, that took a while. Hours passed and the Dr from Loma Linda came in she had already seen him and said his numbers were low but were expecting them to rise once another set of platelets and blood came in. Again time passed and when he seemed to be doing better I left so that my father in law could go inside a few minutes passed when he came out with worry eyes and said my husband wanted me to go inside so I was confused. I rushed to put on my gown and gloves after washing my hands and when I open the door he looked at me with watery eyes saying the Dr had reviewed all of the babies numbers on the machines and he was so unstable he might not make it through the night my heart dropped but I never lost hope or faith I kept praying that night. My mother in law came in and I told her I’m going to baptize my son so a priest came in and we baptized him. After some time my in laws went home and my husband fell asleep in a chair next to the incubator I couldn’t help but to walk around the room and stare at the screens when all of a sudden the nurse calls the Dr my sons blood pressure had dropped significantly my husband woke up we noticed Liam wouldn’t close his eyes, our son was in shock he entered septic shock, his organs were not responding along with his heart, we kept seeing the numbers dancing up and down as Drs walked in and began chest compressions I thought to myself this can’t be happening once numbers got really low Dr told us we are doing everything possible but I don’t think his heart will resist but we will continue to try. I still had so much hope that I would be granted a miracle when the Dr came around the incubator a second time and said the same thing he said we are going to have to stop. He requested to lay my son in mom’s arms just a few minutes passed when my son took his last breath Dr checked his heart and said his heart has officially stopped beating Liam fought til the very last moment he suffered so much we have now gained an angel forever.