Help Unfuck My Life?

So the funny/terrifying thing about asking for help is it can make you feel as sick as the illness you need the help recovering from. And the deeper into a hole you get the more you look around and say, yes this is the hole I dug myself this is the hole I deserve to be and that is some fucked up shit.

Two years and change ago I had emergency surgery for a NECROTIC GALLBLADDER, which sounds way more metal and cool than it actually was...this also coincided with right around the time I was sued for defamation for speaking out against an alleged sexual harasser (the case was dismissed eventually after a long and ridiculously drawn-out trial) which ALSO coincided with me having just quit my long-running foodservice day job and going full-time freelance.

We refer to this as the Year That Tried Really Hard To Murder Jordan. 

And I was LUCKY my partner had medical insurance...which shows just how fucked up it was that after the insurance paying several hundred THOUSANDS of dollars I still ended up having to put around $15k of seemingly unending slowly filtering in extraneous medical charges on my credit cards. Which then immediately became a $400 dollar a month INTEREST payment.

Which sent me into a pretty good two-year depressive spiral slump (all while dealing with the defamation court case which if you haven't felt the dread of being sued for multiple millions of dollars I DO NOT RECCOMEND IT) in which time I had also transitioned to working entirely freelance from home.

Which leads us into the pandemic year and the icing of this shit cake. A year in which understandedly a lot of my freelance income dried up.

The stress of barely paying the minimum payments on these bills and never making any headway is starting to suffocate me. Between my partner and myself we are scraping by but if I could get rid of this albatross of debt it would make a world of difference.

Like I said self-loathing from financial anxiety and the guilt of realizing you need to ask for help is some fucked up shit.

But that's what I'm doing just plain out asking for help.

The internet is vast and I've been lucky to connect with a lot of readers and friends over the years through my Dread Singles Twitter account. So my hope is that out of all of you there are some who can throw in a dollar or two (if all my twitter followers threw in one buck this would be taken care of)

I'm currently more or less drowning between the interest payments and the minimum monthly payment (which apparently are two separate fucking fees) I am paying close to 1k a month on my credit cards just to keep them up to date...not even touching the capital. 

So yeah I need some help. And if you are reading this and you are in a financial situation where you can't spare anything PLEASE do not feel bad. Obviously, I know how you feel and DO NOT want you to overextend your finances to help me out with mine. 

I appreciate your time in reading this and hope you all continue to keep your hearts dark and true and your teeth sharp and many.

Love from the Bottom of the Abyss,

Jordan Shiveley