Endometriosis Victim:Help me start living my life

Hi

My name is Jilly-Anne.I am 32 years old and for the last 15 years of my life I have been living with the dehabilitating conditions, Adenomyosis & Endometriosis & PCOS. It's been a prison sentence.

There aren't enough words for me on here to describe how the pain now effects me everyday. It's at times excruciating and majority of my life has been spent at home avoiding life and missing out. I've always said I've been trapped in a prison cell of my own body.

I have never been given proper treatment or any really , no pain relief strong enough and doctors refusing to be that supportive with my conditions. I've basically been left to it. Spending my time chasing appointments or begging for them to even happen then after , getting no further. It's very lonely .lack of care has left me feeling suicidal on multiple occasions.

2 years ago , I suffered a traumatic, horrific stillbirth of an undetected, unknown pregnancy after being told I could never have children or definitely won't carry full term..that evening, doing it all at home , by myself , confirmed this. Each month the pain I suffer causes flashbacks to that night ..the physical pain is at that excruciating level every time. It's traumatic and causes constant flashbacks. Also now prone to more infections the list is endless. The effect of all this has further worsened a condition which was already ruining my life..

I haven't said all this for sympathy but to give context of why the battle I have for treatment feels all the more distressing and cruel.

I've even had major surgery last year to enable a hysterectomy to go ahead and still they question my commitment.

My whole adult life I have been fighting for a hysterectomy. Even after everything I have been through , a&e visits , dismissive treatment and lack of care from doctors , the most traumatic stillbirth , and even now , 2 years on ... I am STILL being asked to justify why I want this operation.

Humiliated whilst they check the "regret factor" as THEY believe I may want children in the future or shockingly what happens if I meet a man who wants children..

I believe I am at the final hurdles FINALLY these upcoming months after screaming for over a decade..

But now I face not only a physical deterioration in my physical health , but mentally and emotionally I am exhausted.

Over a month off of work , financial burden increases. PIP not interested and rejecting applications , and the low amount of SSP we are entitled too when off sick.

I have numerous appointments upcoming now in London for essential MRI scans I have been asking for for a long time. Then more time off needed If this hysterectomy finally goes ahead to be decided in April.

I struggle to work full time but have never give up. But right now I'm not well enough to work yet need to , to survive. Need to work to afford the travel and recovery time off.

My health has never been able to come first.

I would be on here asking for desperate help to raise funds for a hysterectomy, but after the neglect I have suffered , i feel the NHS owes me my years back which have been delayed by them.

I am asking if anyone would be willing to help me by donating to lighten my financial burden helping ease emotional and mental stress on top of my physical battle.

I'm exhausted and hate asking for help for myself but right now I have nothing to lose .

Donations would be put towards travel fees to London for numerous appointments, essential bills and utilities, Recovery after hysterectomy, just a chance to not have a sleepless night trying not to feel like even more of a failure like im letting people down an causing stress including financial.

I want a chance at a new life that I have been fighting for. I'm 32 and dont ever feel like I've lived yet.

After years of agony and more my life has been on hold for over a decade. Everything I do dictated by my conditions. , I just want to live a life and be able to enjoy it.

I've been through a lot in my life but I wont write my life story on here ...I just would like some good luck for a change. Just once.

Would you help me reach the final hurdle and help make my life long dreams of a new life happen and take away some of my distress?

I don't have a set goal , but any help would make a big impact

Thankyou for reading