Help Hong Fight Stage 4 Lung Cancer

This is a fundraiser for my mom, Hong.

Hong, a non-smoker was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer last February due to a gene mutation that has also spread to her bones and brain. Although she was given 3-6 months to live, she has fought hard with the disease for more than a year now.

Because our family solely relies on my father's pension, we struggle to pay for the life-saving medication (tarceva) which is around $1,000/month and on top of that she has to get CT and bone scans every 3 months. As her disease progresses, she would soon have to switch to a new medication that could help prolong her life for a few more years called Tagrisso. However, it is impossible for us financially now as it would cost $5,000/month to buy this medication.

Hong is a very hard-working and beautiful woman, mom and wife and I have written a short summary which I have posted on subtle asian traits on June 22nd which will help you get to know Hong more. Please know that any amount of donation will literally be saving her life and will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your help from the bottom of my heart.

Hong's story written by her son, me :

"Asian Moms" - I think they are stereotyped by many as being overly strict, tiger moms and conservative. Today, I just wanted to share a story about my mom because she truly is an amazing woman, and my bestfriend with an amazing life story.

My mom was born in the midst of the Vietnam war, and sadly, lost all her family members to it. At an age of 11, she decided to move to Saigon alone to start her own life.

She learned English by herself, and without a high school or college degree, she was able to work on a cruise ship when she was in her 20s as the manager was impressed with her English skills. That's when she met my Japanese father who was 50 at the time, and was travelling to Vietnam to volunteer. It was love at first sight. After 5 years of being in a long distance relationship and exchanging letters, they got married in 1995.

They opened one of the first souvenir stores in Saigon with many branches which was going well until 2007, when the world financial crisis happened and they were forced to close the store. That's also when my father had a heart attack and since then, my mom has been taking care of him on top of me and my sister. Because she lost all her family at such a young age, she loved us with her whole heart because she was finally given the chance to experience what a loving family is for the first time in her life. She also wanted us to have the best education possible because she was never able to receive one because of the war and having to live alone from such a young age.

Just recently I found out that my mom was working full-time when I was in high school so that I could receive a good education abroad and go to a good university and have the freedom of doing what I love. She told my father to keep it a secret from me because she wanted me to focus on my studies during my last 2 years of high school. I cried when I found out because her hand which used to be so soft, was now so rough and full of scratches and marks.

Being gay, I was so nervous about coming out to my mom because she came from a generation and society which is not exposed or educated about the LGBTQ+ community but I decided to do it when I was 16. Surprisingly, she just gave me a hug, smiled and told me "Ichiro, this is great news. This means we can talk about boys then ." and that's right, she knows about all my crushes and boy problems because she just truly cares and accepts me fully for who I am I truly think I am this confident today because I have such a supportive mother like her.

Last February, without any smoking history, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer that has spread to the brain due to a gene mutation and was told she only has 3-6 months left. I know she was super devastated because I am just 18 years old, about to go to college, and she really haven't had the chance to enjoy life fully yet - she had to take care of our family and just basically work hard her whole life. She was looking forward to travelling the world once I graduated from college and had my own job and everything but this prognosis meant there was a high chance this will never come true. I saved up so that I could take her to travel, but then a month after her diagnosis, COVID-19 struck the world, making travelling impossible.

But even then, she decided to stay positive, putting a smile on her face everyday. Although she was admitted to the ICU in December due to a stroke caused by the swelling of her brain and was given a low chance of surviving, she made it through and was out of the hospital in just 5 days. 2 months ago, she lost all her hair due to her whole brain radiotherapy treatment but instead of buying a wig, she decided to rock her new look "I mean, this is the only chance I get to rock this hairstyle so why not" she said. She occasionally gets stares from strangers and sometimes even asked, why are you bald? or "what happened? you looked so much better with hair", but she decided to be confident in her new look and honestly I think she looks amazing.

After coming back from clubbing the other night, I found a note on my table with a full cup of water (picture below). It said "Here's a present for you (a cup of water), drink it and wait 15 minutes before you sleep. Love you my son - Mum". This note made me tear up because I mean, how amazing is my mom?

In 2 months time, I'd have to leave her to go to the states for college, and it has hit me that the next 2 months could be my last time with her since with her illness, we don't know what will happen at anytime. I try to spend as much time with her and do all the things she loves but knowing that it could be the last 2 months with her breaks my heart because I really want her at my graduation ceremony, my wedding and all the important moments in my life. I want to take her around the world and I really want her to enjoy life fully, for once.

I decided to tell her this because I wanted to be honest with her and apologized that I couldn't be next to her, in one of the hardest times of her life and she said "Ichiro, you're giving me the best present by going to the states in the fall. By going to college and showing me that my son is doing what he loves and thriving, you're letting me know that I have done my job and nothing makes me happier than that. I want to leave this world knowing that I was able to give you everything that I never had. Thank you for showing me that Ichiro."

I love my mom.

Thank you so much again.