A Service Dog for Magpie
Donation protected
I'm here for my niece, Magpie. She is one of my favourite people. One of the hardest times my family has ever known brought Magpie and I so close together. I will be forever grateful for that. But since that time, so many years ago, my beautiful girl grew from a child who had to handle too much into a very sick and hurt pre-teen. She will be 13 this year and she knows more about declining mental and physical health than most adults in my life.
We need a lot of money to get her well; for her to live a full and happy life, and we need it as soon as possible. So please read the whole story. It all matters and it has led us here. This money will save her life, but not the way you think. It's for a service animal, for training the service animal, and for the mental and physical health supports that are not covered by OHIP or ODSP (or any other government support, for that matter). There is a breakdown of costs at the end.
How It Started
I'm not really sure when things changed from happy kid who got angry sometimes to rage-filled, severely anxious kid. I know that by the time she was ten, my sister Chandra - Magpie's mother - could barely cope. Magpie was violent and angry. She would lash out with no warning. We didn't know why. Services were sought. The police were called. More services. More police. Doctors. Diagnoses. Meds. New meds. More services. More police. New doctors. New diagnoses. New meds. But no new services.
So, I offered my niece a place to live for awhile. A month or two, to give her and my sister a break from each other. After two weeks, I finally saw what Chandra was seeing and it was heartbreaking. This little girl, one of my favourite people, destroyed my home. She scared my daughter. She physically attacked me. We went to the hospital. We called crisis services. We called the police. We pleaded and begged. No one would help long term. Only in the moment. But we knew it would happen again tomorrow.. or even tonight. She couldn't control it. She didn't know what to do. Neither did I.
At least we knew: the behaviour was not being caused by something environmental. We knew she needed to go home because at least there were some services that were already available to her. So, after 5 weeks, Magpie left me and my daughter and went back home.
New doctor. New meds. New diagnosis. Things got a little better for awhile. But then they got bad again. My sister, my nephew in physical danger. Magpie spiraling out of control with no idea what was happening to her. We were all at a loss. She couldn't go to school for the longest time because she was being bullied. She had friends sometimes, but they would end in explosions.
And Now for Something Completely Different
Then it was 2020 and she was 12. And we all know that 2020 was awful. A pandemic. Constant fear. Isolation. A kid who hadn't been to school in almost a year because of bullying now didn't know when she would ever go back. And then it happened. She started getting tired. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't walk up the stairs. She couldn't walk at all. Chandra's mama instincts kicked in. She carried her almost teenager to the car and they went to the hospital.
It was diabetic ketoacidosis. She had type 1 diabetes. So, in addition to the misunderstood and regularly misdiagnosed mental health issues my girl was dealing with, she now has a chronic condition and the additional mental health challenges that come with such a diagnosis.
Magpie and Chandra, after years of fighting each other, decided to try something new. They split up, with Magpie going to live with my mom. But she didn't take care of her diabetes. After a few months, they decided it wasn't working and my girl moved home and things were better for a time. But those mental health challenges, with severe anxiety and anger, came back. And she wouldn't (couldn't?) take care of her physical health. No amount of community support was enough. She simply refused. She lied about it. She ended up in the hospital again. And then in the Children and Adolescent Psychiatry (CAP) unit.
In the CAP unit, the psychiatrist agreed with and added to her diagnoses. So this beautiful young woman, my wonderful girl, has five... FIVE! concurrent psychiatric diagnoses: Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD); Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD); Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD); Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD); and Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Remember, she also had Type 1 Diabetes.
Finally, after years of pain, my beautiful niece and my strong and persistent sister were being taken seriously. She had to almost die. But, finally, they were listening. With a doctor who rediagnosed her and set up a care plan for her where she would be supported. That was in January 2021.
Today, Tomorrow and Forever
Today, there is more support, but it is not enough. Chandra had to leave her job to be available to Magpie during school hours in case there is conflict. Chandra is applying to any program she can find to access the medical and psychiatric supports for Magpie - supports that she needs to live a full and happy life - and for herself so that she can continue to provide the positive support that Mapgie needs. These supports include:
1. Respite support (non-scholastic activities, overnight stays in therapeutic locations).
2. Psychiatric Service Dog
3. Equine Therapy
4. Emotion-Focused Family Therapy
5. A Smart-Watch (to connect to the DEXCOM blood-sugar monitoring system)
6. A Data Plan for the Smart Watch
7. Sensory Items as suggested by a doctor (weighted vest, weighted lap
blanket, body sock, ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones,
insoles, stress balls, timers, and other fidget toys and tools for
distraction and self-soothing, plus additional items once an occupational therapist is involved).
8. Parent Relief (to help combat compassion fatigue)
These things that my niece needs to live a full and happy life - and for my sister and her family to be able to provide sustained, ongoing, and positive support to my niece - cost money. And no matter how hard my sister tries, so many of the things my niece needs are not being funded - not by the government, not by non-profits. So here I am, online, asking you to help. Help me. Help her. Help them. Help. Follow the link for more information on psychiatric service dogs.
Costs Breakdown
We need a lot and it is super complicated, so I made a cost breakdown for folks who are wondering about why when there seems to be so many services available. I don't want to be reductive about the positive impact of the funding that has already been approved either. It is incredibly helpful. But it is not even close to enough.
Why the extra $1180 in my total amount requested? Well... because of the unforeseen. Uncalculated taxes. An unexpected, health-related trip. A new idea from a new specialist. Or something I can't even fathom yet. But that thing that we don't know yet could make all the difference. So, yeah. I'm trying to reach just a little higher.
Moving Forward
Chandra is doing an incredible job. She spends her days researching service dogs, service dog trainers, and funding opportunities while advocating for and support my niece. Every little bit helps and as donations are made, we will update you with purchases, events and wellness reports on my niece and my sister.
Thank you so much for reading this far. If you can't donate, please share with your network. It's a wide world! And don't forget, that is a biiig number, but whether it's $1, $5, $50 or $500, your donation will improve the well-being of my girl. Stay tuned for updates!
We need a lot of money to get her well; for her to live a full and happy life, and we need it as soon as possible. So please read the whole story. It all matters and it has led us here. This money will save her life, but not the way you think. It's for a service animal, for training the service animal, and for the mental and physical health supports that are not covered by OHIP or ODSP (or any other government support, for that matter). There is a breakdown of costs at the end.
How It Started
I'm not really sure when things changed from happy kid who got angry sometimes to rage-filled, severely anxious kid. I know that by the time she was ten, my sister Chandra - Magpie's mother - could barely cope. Magpie was violent and angry. She would lash out with no warning. We didn't know why. Services were sought. The police were called. More services. More police. Doctors. Diagnoses. Meds. New meds. More services. More police. New doctors. New diagnoses. New meds. But no new services.
So, I offered my niece a place to live for awhile. A month or two, to give her and my sister a break from each other. After two weeks, I finally saw what Chandra was seeing and it was heartbreaking. This little girl, one of my favourite people, destroyed my home. She scared my daughter. She physically attacked me. We went to the hospital. We called crisis services. We called the police. We pleaded and begged. No one would help long term. Only in the moment. But we knew it would happen again tomorrow.. or even tonight. She couldn't control it. She didn't know what to do. Neither did I.
At least we knew: the behaviour was not being caused by something environmental. We knew she needed to go home because at least there were some services that were already available to her. So, after 5 weeks, Magpie left me and my daughter and went back home.
New doctor. New meds. New diagnosis. Things got a little better for awhile. But then they got bad again. My sister, my nephew in physical danger. Magpie spiraling out of control with no idea what was happening to her. We were all at a loss. She couldn't go to school for the longest time because she was being bullied. She had friends sometimes, but they would end in explosions.
And Now for Something Completely Different
Then it was 2020 and she was 12. And we all know that 2020 was awful. A pandemic. Constant fear. Isolation. A kid who hadn't been to school in almost a year because of bullying now didn't know when she would ever go back. And then it happened. She started getting tired. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't walk up the stairs. She couldn't walk at all. Chandra's mama instincts kicked in. She carried her almost teenager to the car and they went to the hospital.
It was diabetic ketoacidosis. She had type 1 diabetes. So, in addition to the misunderstood and regularly misdiagnosed mental health issues my girl was dealing with, she now has a chronic condition and the additional mental health challenges that come with such a diagnosis.
Magpie and Chandra, after years of fighting each other, decided to try something new. They split up, with Magpie going to live with my mom. But she didn't take care of her diabetes. After a few months, they decided it wasn't working and my girl moved home and things were better for a time. But those mental health challenges, with severe anxiety and anger, came back. And she wouldn't (couldn't?) take care of her physical health. No amount of community support was enough. She simply refused. She lied about it. She ended up in the hospital again. And then in the Children and Adolescent Psychiatry (CAP) unit.
In the CAP unit, the psychiatrist agreed with and added to her diagnoses. So this beautiful young woman, my wonderful girl, has five... FIVE! concurrent psychiatric diagnoses: Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD); Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD); Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD); Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD); and Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Remember, she also had Type 1 Diabetes.
Finally, after years of pain, my beautiful niece and my strong and persistent sister were being taken seriously. She had to almost die. But, finally, they were listening. With a doctor who rediagnosed her and set up a care plan for her where she would be supported. That was in January 2021.
Today, Tomorrow and Forever
Today, there is more support, but it is not enough. Chandra had to leave her job to be available to Magpie during school hours in case there is conflict. Chandra is applying to any program she can find to access the medical and psychiatric supports for Magpie - supports that she needs to live a full and happy life - and for herself so that she can continue to provide the positive support that Mapgie needs. These supports include:
1. Respite support (non-scholastic activities, overnight stays in therapeutic locations).
2. Psychiatric Service Dog
3. Equine Therapy
4. Emotion-Focused Family Therapy
5. A Smart-Watch (to connect to the DEXCOM blood-sugar monitoring system)
6. A Data Plan for the Smart Watch
7. Sensory Items as suggested by a doctor (weighted vest, weighted lap
blanket, body sock, ear plugs or noise cancelling headphones,
insoles, stress balls, timers, and other fidget toys and tools for
distraction and self-soothing, plus additional items once an occupational therapist is involved).
8. Parent Relief (to help combat compassion fatigue)
These things that my niece needs to live a full and happy life - and for my sister and her family to be able to provide sustained, ongoing, and positive support to my niece - cost money. And no matter how hard my sister tries, so many of the things my niece needs are not being funded - not by the government, not by non-profits. So here I am, online, asking you to help. Help me. Help her. Help them. Help. Follow the link for more information on psychiatric service dogs.
Costs Breakdown
We need a lot and it is super complicated, so I made a cost breakdown for folks who are wondering about why when there seems to be so many services available. I don't want to be reductive about the positive impact of the funding that has already been approved either. It is incredibly helpful. But it is not even close to enough.
Why the extra $1180 in my total amount requested? Well... because of the unforeseen. Uncalculated taxes. An unexpected, health-related trip. A new idea from a new specialist. Or something I can't even fathom yet. But that thing that we don't know yet could make all the difference. So, yeah. I'm trying to reach just a little higher.
Moving Forward
Chandra is doing an incredible job. She spends her days researching service dogs, service dog trainers, and funding opportunities while advocating for and support my niece. Every little bit helps and as donations are made, we will update you with purchases, events and wellness reports on my niece and my sister.
Thank you so much for reading this far. If you can't donate, please share with your network. It's a wide world! And don't forget, that is a biiig number, but whether it's $1, $5, $50 or $500, your donation will improve the well-being of my girl. Stay tuned for updates!
Fundraising team (3)
Calla Barnett
Organizer
Ottawa, ON
Chandra Barnett
Team member
Jeanne BArnett
Team member
