400 Days Away

UPDATE:

I had prematurely left rehab and relapsed on crystal meth and marijuana; I drank a few times too since leaving.

So I would like to refund your money because I did not achieve the desired goal of completing Teen Challenge.

I would like to sincerely thank the donors who helped and who believed in me. I apologize for squandering your money.

Signed,

Elisapi

Hi, my name is Elisapi (pronounced Elisa-Pea) and I am a 32-year-old woman who has been accepted into the Teen Challenge program. Teen Challenge is a one-year drug and alcohol treatment center that is faith-based and relies on the power of God to overcome addictions.

I have been dealing with addictive behaviours since I was 12 years old. I started drinking at that time and instantly I was hooked. I was a blackout drinker and always chugged the alcohol to get the full effect right away. I got heavy into drinking when I turned 18 and was able to buy my own alcohol. When I was 17, I started smoking crack cocaine and again, I was absolutely hooked. When I was 28 years old, I started smoking crystal meth and a month later I started injecting. Also, I smoke weed and cigarettes.

When I was 23, my life changed drastically when I became pregnant with my son. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I quit drinking alcohol and stopped smoking crack (I hadn’t started smoking meth yet) but continued to smoke cigarettes and weed. I didn’t want to bring my son into the world being addicted or have FASD so I ceased my drug and alcohol abuse.

When my son was three months old, I placed him for adoption. I feel like I made the right choice for him because I felt that bringing him up in an addicted environment might ruin his life. I am on welfare and didn’t want to bring him up in poverty. It seemed that adoption was the best option.

At this present time, I hardly ever drink but when I do, I still tend to drink fast although I’m not looking to get wasted like when I was younger. Sometimes I smoke crack but Winnipeg has better stuff than Saskatoon so it’s not something that I chase. These days, I smoke crystal meth but I have quit injecting. (Too hard to find a vein and when I miss the vein, it really hurts)

It feels like crystal meth, weed and cigarettes control my life. About 90% of my money just goes up in smoke and the high never lasts. I would like to enter the Teen Challenge program because I feel like a year off would drastically change my life. I believe in God the Father, God the Son (Jesus Christ) and God the Holy Spirit. I believe that because it is a faith-based program, I will succeed in overcoming my addictions. I believe that Teen Challenge will help me with my addictions because it is an intensive program that is focused around God and his healing power.

I am asking to be funded through the generosity of strangers. Teen Challenge is $1,100 for the entire year and I have a hard time saving up that kind of money being on disability. In retrospect, that is relatively cheap for living arrangements, food and a curriculum to follow for the entire year.

Please consider my plea to help better my future living drug and alcohol-free. Thank you for your generosity and your thoughtfulness in this matter.

I believe that Teen Challenge will impact my life in such a positive way. Be free from addiction and learn to follow God's path. I have had a hard life but I believe in my heart, my body, my mind, spirit and soul that God has carried me through the darkest of times. He has spared me from death on many occasions as well as from diseases. When I think of how many times I went off with strangers, I don't think i could ever possibly know how close I've brushed death.

The same God that created the mountains, the valley's, the oceans, the seas, the living sky created you too and you're as unique as a fingerprint. God loves you. He knows your innermost thoughts and declares you innocent in the blood of Jesus Christ.

Here's a poem I wrote specifically for this GoFundMe Page. Hope you enjoy! God bless you and your family as you give.

How can I put this? I get into absolute bliss when it’s drugs that I kiss. Don’t throw an ignorant dis because I’ve hardly raised a fist even though sometimes I’m seriously pissed. I have never been to jail for my addiction. I saw sick fun; so many drugs; I wish I never picked one. But here I smoke cigarettes, marijuana and crystal meth though hardly you’ll smell booze on my breath. I don’t want drugs to be the outcome of my death so here I’m trying to go to Teen Challenge. To be honest I’d like to go on a binge but what happens if I’m on the brink, on the hinge of collapsing? Where a mishap thing comes out of the right wing; jostles and stings until I’m no longer alive. Off of drugs I know I would thrive. Towards sobriety, that’s what I want to strive for. Please help me open the door so I don’t need to have the drugs anymore. I know happiness is in store as I watch fate pour. I know to my very core that when I’m free from drugs I’ll happily roar. I know it’s going to be a chore to get to sobriety. I know I’ll finally fit in society even though I believe in a deity who is higher than me. I want to be a brand new me that is comfortable with sobriety. I just need help getting into the program. I’m like damn, I’m kind of in a jam because I just don’t have that kind of ham. It’s $1,100 for the entire year. I have some money saved up but nowhere near, oh dear. So here I fear that unless you take in my plea, you wouldn’t know that you might hold the key to help make a drug free Elisapi. So here’s my plea, please help me be free from addiction. I’ve never had a conviction and in addition to that, I’ve never lost tact and I don’t overreact when I’m not high. I get on by as I try, damn I try to not sigh but a 12 hour high isn’t worth 6 months of jail. With that in mind, I do not fail and with panhandling money I get to sail and have my flail. I never want to pay bail or go to jail so I beg for money on the street. It certainly is a treat that I don’t get off my feet but I don’t want to go down in defeat. I know this drug habit I can beat but I need you by my side. I will boldly stride upon this treacherous ride. So many tears I have cried just because my mind is fried from all of this. I don’t want the drugs to be a bliss and it’s sobriety that I miss. Please consider my life and all the drugs that cause strife, causing tensions that can be cut with a knife. Thank you for your time. I hope with this rhyme you understand I don’t commit crime to get high. It's just not worth it, even though I fly by. Teen Challenge is the key to make a brand new me. I'll finally be free, all because of your generosity. Thank you so much for helping with the $1,100 fee. I'll make it out a better person, you'll see.